Michelangelo's Vision of A Donald Trump Presidency
German Chancellor Angela Merkel was anxious to discover who would win the U.S. Presidential election.
So she had paid Set Enterprises' €1 million to find out.
But Set Enterprises' genetically created Psychic Lobster refused to reveal that information.
The German Chancellor was anxious to know what would be the results of a Donald Trump Presidency.
So Set Enterprises' chief resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher
posed the question hypothetically to the psychic lobster, "What would a
Donald Trump Presidency be like?".
Michelangelo replied with a series of visions that he sent
telepathically from his lobster antennae to the screen of the computer
he was hooked up to.
All the visions were of Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office:
1st Vision:
Trump (barking orders to his underlings) : What? How dare the Mexicans
reject my final offer to get them to pay for the wall I'm building? This
makes me look like I'm breaking my campaign promise to my supporters.
Get on the phone to the Pentagon and tell them to nuke Mexico City. This will show them who's boss.
2nd vision:
Trump (still barking orders): What? How dare Pope Francis condemn me as unChristian for nuking Mexico City?
Get on the phone to the Pentagon and tell them to nuke the Vatican.
This will show that godless atheistic communist in a cassock who's truly doing God's work.
3rd Vision:
Trump (still barking) : I didn't like that story CNN's Anderson Cooper did on me last night.
Get on the phone to the Pentagon and tell them to nuke CNN Headquarters in Atlanta.
This will make what General Sherman did look like a Sunday School barbeque.
4th Vision:
Trump (continuously barking): How dare the New York Times condemn me for
nuking Atlanta? It's not my fault the entire city happens to surround
CNN.
Get on the phone to the Pentagon and tell them to nuke the New York
Times Building in New York City. But phone my financial so-called Blind
Trust first and get them to sell all my investments and disperse all my
assets in the Big Apple first.
100th Vision:
Trump (the neverending bark): How dare the Republican governor of New
Mexico condemn me for making a radioactive wasteland of most of the
country and most of the planet?
Get on the phone to the Pentagon and tell them to nuke the state of New
Mexico. But pull any investments I might have in the Santa Fe Railway
first.
665th Vision:
Trump (still hot under his dog collar and barking wildly): How dare the
State of Hawaii vote to secede from the Union saying that it's now
governed by a lunatic tyrant worse than Nero and Caligula put together?
Get on the phone to the Pentagon and tell them to nuke Honolulu. But
sell any real estate and property I might hold in Hawaii first.
666th Vision: How dare the Pentagon refuse my orders to nuke Hawaii
saying that there's not much left of the U.S.A. ? Is it my fault that
there's so many damned traitors to the Commander-In-Chief living in this
country? I'm trying to be Presidential about this.
Get on the phone to the Pentagon and tell them to go nuke themselves.
And that's an order. If they refuse to go nuke themselves, they're
loosing their Armed Forces pensions.
(The resulting atomic mushroom cloud appearing over the Pentagon expands
and falls all over Washington D.C. taking the entire city including the
White House and Oval Office with its barking and raging occupant Donald
Trump with it)
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 1st
2016.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
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