The Vampiress Isis adjusted the skirt of her long slit black evening dress and uncrossed her legs.
Why, she fumed, had Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered a Russian submarine to fire a laser death ray at her husband Osiris' spaceship to prevent his return to Earth on the important Mayan calendar date that corresponded to December 21st 2012 on the Gregorian calendar?
If Putin wanted war, she'd give him war.
At least she'd have an ally in French President Francois Hollande who was pissed at Putin for granting French actor Gerard Depardieu Russian citizenship.
* * *
Russian President Vladimir Putin oversaw the cabinet meeting in the Kremlin.
Behind him stood his gray jacketed, white bloused and tight gray skirted bodyguard the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva who had been assigned by Russia's FSB to protect the President.
"So," Sergei Brownoseky Uptheladderov the Minister for Sanitary Engineering and Recycling of Everything asked the President, "for what reason did we attack Osiris' and Quetzalcoatl's space ships with a laser death ray from one of our submarines?".
"Well the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl was an unintended collateral damage casualty of friendly fire as his spiritual goddaughter the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec has been a good strategic ally of Russian interests," Putin explained, "our intended target was the Egyptian vampire Osiris whom we succeeded into sending into oblivion. As you know Osiris is an entity worshipped and adored by the highest echelons of American Freemasonry and as you know, Russia and America have not exactly been good friends for most of the past century. And any friend of American leadership is an enemy of ours."
"Makes sense," Sergei Brownoseky Uptheladderov nodded enthusiastically.
* * *
Magog Rhys Petley the far Left Member of the British Labour Party was attending a performance of The Phantom of The Opera in London's West End.
The lead performance of Christine was being sung by one of his favourite singers the talented New Orleans songstress Angelique Dumont.
It was intermission time and the Welsh MP was lining up to buy several glasses of buttermilk.
The reason he was buying buttermilk was because he had experientially discovered that by drinking buttermilk he was able to overcome the particular form of the lycanthropy gene (that caused werewolfism) which had overtaken his system ever since he had been bitten by Rahu (the Hindu demon god of lunar and solar eclipses) a couple of years earlier.
This particular form of the lycanthropy gene occasionally turned him into a werewolf even when it was not the full moon.
So that's why it was gallons of buttermilk for him.
As he lined up to buy the buttermilk from the theatre's cocktail bar, he reflected on how the great French actor Gerard Depardieu was now the great Russian actor Gerard Depardieu.
There were now even rumours that noted French actress Brigitte Bardot would be giving up her French citizenship for Russian.
If this trend continued, the entire French film industry might become part of the Russian film industry.
As he approached the bar, he noticed the cultural attache from the South African Embassy in London Lepardia Marango was sipping from a glass of buttermilk.
The lovely and charming South African diplomat wore a lovely lilac evening dress and diamond necklace.
She smiled at him as she noticed him noticing her.
Hm, a fellow buttermilk drinker, Magog reflected.
He wondered why.
To be continued.
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