Renfield And Old Spice

Renfield R. Renfield was in Long Beach, California holding auditions for a porno movie he was making at the porno film studios he owned there.

When Renfield had finished interviewing and breaking in the actresses, he sighed as it now came time to audition the actors.

One man who claimed to be a leading Spanish Malaysian male fashion model and who was dressed in the costume of a reckless eagle was immediately laughed at by Renfield.

"Get out of here," Renfield chuckled, "I've seen larger and better working equipment on men who worked as guards in the Sultan's harem."

"I just got an email from Athelstan," Amadeus Emanon said in reference to their boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set's butler and valet, "he asks if you've seen the latest Old Spice commercial."

"I have," Renfield smiled, "Love it."

"What's the meaning of this cryptic email?" Amadeus asked as he ate a candied jellied figure of James Bond.

"Well, the Boss asked me to vet a politician for him who could probably serve as his political puppet as the Boss works to establish a One World Government under his control," Renfield explained, "and I suggested far Left British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley from Wales.  Petley is a werewolf who hasn't yet brought his lycanthropy out of the closet and thus makes him highly susceptible to blackmail. Heh! Heh! Heh!".

"But what's Magog Rhys Petley got to do with this Old Spice commercial?" Amadeus checked the price of tea in China on the stock market page.

"Well, I thought it might be psychologically useful to condition the masses of the world to accept Magog Rhys Petley as their Saviour," Renfield grinned, "and since Old Spice commercials seem to be so immensely popular, I had our resident mad scientist at Set Enterprises Laboratories Dr. Cadbury Rocher get our genetically created psychic lobster Michelangelo to infiltrate the dreams of the advertising writer who was going to write the next Old Spice commercial. And I had this image of the wolf's head/human hybrid embedded in this writer's dream and thus in the commercial to condition television viewing audiences into accepting wolfman Magog Rhys Petley as their Saviour."

"That's positively brilliant," Amadeus opened up a package containing a low-energy but highly luminescent lightbulb.

"I know," Renfield sat back and grinned.