Renfield"s Proposal For Ending Public Washroom Discrimination

Renfield's Proposal For Ending Public Washroom Discrimination

Amadeus Emanon was watching CNN where Anderson Cooper was interviewing Renfield R. Renfield about his campaign for the U.S. Presidency.

Anderson: And we're here with Mr. Renfield R. Renfield... British born... or I should say... British genetically created... candidate for the U.S. Presidency... who's willing to accept the nomination of either party... or both parties... to become President... who currently stands at 0.0% in the polls... has 0.0% of the delegates in either Party... but still believes he stands an excellent chance of becoming America's next President... we'll be back right after these messages.


Amadeus went to the refrigerator to get himself some more milk and cookies.

He got back to the living room just as the last commercial was ending.


Voice of Arnold Schwarzenegger: Crap From Kim Kardashian's Excessively Large Booty... download for free from the App Store.

Anderson Cooper: And we're back. Now, Mr. Renfield, one of the emerging issues in this campaign is the fact that members of the LGBT community feel discriminated against by being forced to use public washrooms for the sex or gender that Nature cruelly assigned them at birth. Several states have passed legislation saying that people must go into public washrooms for the sex or gender that they were born with... Mr. Renfield, where do you stand on this important civil rights issue?


Renfield (grinning) : Well if I was elected President, one of my first acts would be to sign an Executive Order banning all public washrooms.
If there are no washrooms in public, no one would feel discriminated against.


(Anderson Cooper is silent for a whole minute)

Anderson (finally speaking) : I don't recall any of the other candidates running for President... not even Donald Trump... coming up with such an idea.





Renfield (grinning even more): That's because Donald Trump is a divider not a uniter. He divides people. I'm a uniter. I unite people. When I'm elected President, the American people will be united and as one in not being able to find a washroom in a public place. That way no one will feel discriminated against.


Meanwhile down at the Set Enterprises lab, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was freaking out in his aquarium over a vision he was having of a Renfield Presidency in America.

CNN News Bulletin From The Future: The streets of New York City were running red with blood today as millions of people were fighting a quite literal Game of Thrones battle to find a throne somewhere in the city to relieve themselves...


-A vampire novel chapter
  written by Christopher
  Tuesday April 19th
  2016.