Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Michelangelo's Vision of Another Last Judgement?

Renfield R. Renfield was communicating via computer with Michelangelo the psychic lobster's thought processes.

Michelangelo like the Leonardo DiCaprio character in the movie Inception could enter people's dreams.

What Michelangelo saw in the dreams appeared on Renfield's computer.

Renfield had Michelangelo examining the dreams of former U.S. President Jimmy Carter who was resting quietly in a hospital in Cleveland.

"Yes, I imagine if I had to fly to Cleveland," Renfield quipped, "I'd get sick to my stomach in the middle of my flight too."

Renfield looked at the images Michelangelo was seeing, "What the f---? What sort of person in his dreams is actually dreaming about building houses for people to live in who couldn't afford them otherwise?".

"Jimmy Carter does obviously," Amadeus said as he munched on a peanut butter sandwich.

"Michelangelo," Renfield spoke into the computer microphone, "enter Bill Clinton's dreams instead."

Michelangelo did so and within an instant other images appeared on screen.

"Oh, yes, this is so much more interesting," Renfield smiled, "I'm going to record these with my screen saver and add them to the porno movies I'm making."

"Is that physically possible?" Amadeus asked as he stopped in the middle of the peanut butter sandwich he was eating and stared in shock at what he saw on the screen.

"You must remember this is a dream you're watching so it doesn't really correspond to what one can do in reality," Renfield replied, "I wonder what Bill would pay me not to show these images to Hillary?".

"I don't see Hillary in any of these shots," Amadeus continued to eat his peanut butter sandwich.

"She isn't," Renfield replied.

"Oh," Amadeus finished his sandwich.

"Try Bill Gates' dreams now," Renfield ordered Michelangelo.

An image of Bill Gates appeared on the screen.

Amadeus announced, "I've just lost my appetite."

Renfield said, "So have I. I think in his dreams, Bill Gates is in his bedroom looking at what he's currently doing up on the mirror of his bedroom ceiling."

Amadeus looked on in horror, "Is that also a computer he's using while he's also engaged in... you know..."

"It is a computer," Renfield smiled, "and I'm sure Steve Jobs would be interested to know what sort of computer Bill Gates uses in his dreams. Note to screen saver: Save this shot. This can possibly be used to extract money from Bill Gates later."

Suddenly another image appeared on screen.

"Is that part of Bill Gates' dream?" Amadeus asked.

"I can't believe it," Renfield shook his head, "Michelangelo on his own has entered another person's dreams..."

The person in the dream was looking at toy soldiers, "Thanks to dear Daddy, I no longer have to play with wooden soldiers. Now I can play with real ones..."

The person laughed a sinister laugh.

* * *

South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing were asleep in the bedroom of their Paris hotel room.

Although Hyung was having trouble sleeping.

Ever since she saw that disturbing news story on the late night news this evening that North Korea's dictator Kim Jong-il had named his 27-year-old son Kim Jong-un (who had no military experience) a four-star general in the North Korean Army, she had been having unpleasant dreams.

"Get out of the way," Hyung booted a lobster out of the way with her spiked stiletto heels and then looked at the figure playing with toy soldiers

She recognized him immediately.

"Thanks to dear Daddy," the new North Korean 4-star general said, "I no longer have to play with wooden soldiers. Now I can play with real ones. To say nothing of those lovely missiles dear Daddy built and what can be put in them with all that lovely uranium we're producing in our enrichment plants..."


To be continued.

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