Princess Qonzilqointec In New York City

Midnight. New York City. Down by the waterfront.

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec seems out of place in her pale green evening dress, jade necklace and cobalt blue spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

A drunken sailor approaches her, "Excuse me but aren't you Salma Hayek?".

The royal personage Aztec vampiress bit the sailor on the jugular vein of his neck and drank all his blood and then threw his lifeless body to the ground, "No, I've just been told that I look like her."

As she looked down at the blood drained dead drunken sailor, she felt a queaziness in her stomach and said aloud to herself, "I should really stop eating junk food."

A policeman approached her, "Excuse me but I'm an Arizona state trooper on an exchange program with the NYPD and I demand to see some ID to prove to me you're not an illegal immigrant."

The Aztec vampire princess grabbed the policeman with her powerful arms and literally broke his neck.

"I'd love to see what you'd do to Glenn Beck if he was in the vicinity," a voice spoke to her out of the darkness.

"Christopher Dracul Van Helsing," Princess Qonzilqointec smiled a warm vampiric smile with her teeth and her incisors as she recognized the voice.

"Your Highness," the vampire hunter kissed her pale green gloved hand.

"I'm sorry about the death of your father," she hugged him.

"Thanks," Dracul hugged her back, "it's been hard."

"Being a vampiress, I don't think about such things," she looked into his eyes, "but there's always the possibility that a well-done stake could do me in."

"Or even a medium rare stake," Dracul answered.

"Indeed," the vampire princess laughed.

"So why have you asked to see me?" Dracul inquired.

"Well when I'm not busy planning a Marxist revolution with the likes of Venezuela's Hugo Chavez, the President of Ecuador, the President of Peru and the most likely future President of Brazil, the capitalist side of me likes to engage in investments," Qonzilqointec's red painted fingernails touched her jade necklace.

"Investments were never my field," Dracul answered, "I was a Philosophy major in my Undergrad years."

"But I seek advice about vampires," she said.

"A vampiress is asking me for advice about vampires," Dracul smiled.

"The thing is I've invested in a company that will make electric cars using a new long-lasting lithium battery," Qonzilqointec answered, "and I'm looking for a spokesman to do commercials for them. And I see in various tabloid newspapers throughout the world the vampire Set's chief of security Renfield R. Renfield is advertising that his boss would like to do TV commercials. I was wondering if you'd think Set would make a good spokesman for my product."

"Well I've never actually met the Vampire Set," Dracul confessed, "I've only run into a couple of his employees Renfield and also Amadeus Emanon. I believe you've met Set. What are your impressions?".

"He's one nasty individual," Qonzilqointec answered, "but I don't know if he could sell a car."

"Often it's nasty individuals who do sell cars," Dracul said, "along with mythical little old ladies from Pasadena who only drove the car once a week to church on Sundays."

Qonzilqointec smiled, "You're right, Dracul. And I understand you spent a year as an ad writer for an advertising agency. I want you to write the commercial."

To be continued.