Werewolf TV Commercial

"So, Boss," Renfield smiled, "you'll be doing a commercial for the new Qonzilqointec Electric Car."

"This is wonderful news," Set answered as he fed on a crocodile.

"Is that still alive?" Amadeus asked when he noticed the crocodile seemed to be snapping before going down the throat of the multi-billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire.

"The master likes his crocodiles very very rare," Athelstan the valet and gentleman's gentleman to Set answered.

* * *

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and Dracul Van Helsing were in a hot tub together.

"So, any ideas for a commercial?" Qonzilqointec asked with her incisors sparkling as her head rose up out of the water.

"My, what sharp teeth you have," Dracul answered, "and yes, an idea for a commercial has come to me."

On the radio, Josh Groban could be heard singing the Don McLean lyrics, "Starry, starry night..."

* * *

With the full moon rising in the background, the werewolf looked at the camera and said, "So you're out on a hot date, you're about to get lucky with the girl of your dreams and she says..."

Girl In Red Dress: Darling isn't it a lovely full moon tonight?

Werewolf: And you say...

Boy (rising quickly out of the front seat of the convertible overlooking Lover's Lane): Oh, Jesus, a full moon...

(Girl in red dress screams as the boy turns into a werewolf)

Werewolf: Now you may have difficulty explaining to your loved one the sudden appearance of a full 5 o' clock shadow at midnight on a moonlit night so don't even try... Instead reach for your Gillette shaving cream and Gillette razor and start shaving away...

Boy (after shaving): See darling, your big bad wolf is just a college boy in sheep's clothing (for I'm wearing a wool sweater) after all...

Girl in Red Dress: Oh, Henry... (she throws him to the seat and mounts him)...

Announcer: Gillette, the best a man (or a werewolf) can get...

* * *

Qonzilqointec: I can't believe Gillette turned down your idea for a commercial...

Dracul Van Helsing: Neither can I....


To be continued.