Cardinal JM and Osiris

Cardinal JM and Osiris


The Vatican Cardinal JM was in a downtown Rome lounge waiting to meet the ancient Egyptian vampire Osiris.


His personal secretary Father Oliver Thomas Wardenclyffe would not be accompanying him as he usually did to such meetings.


Father Wardenclyffe would be attending a performance of a new ballet Swan Lake In The Desert at the U. S. Embassy this night.

The original  avante-garde ballet was being performed by the U.S. Marine Corps Barack Obama Performing Arts Division.


"Your Eminence," The Vampire Osiris dressed in a tuxedo and tie greeted Cardinal JM.


"Your Most Exalted Ancient Egyptian Highness," Cardinal JM bowed.


"You look well, JM," Osiris stated.


"You're looking somewhat green this evening," the Cardinal observed, "aren't you feeling well?".


"I've always looked green," Osiris snapped irritably, "if you ever bothered to look at pictures of my painted image on the walls of Egyptian temples and tombs. It was a condition brought about by eating too many jars of pickles when I was younger."


"I apologize for my abysmal ignorance, your Highness," Cardinal JM looked flustered, "ancient Greek religion is my field of study."


"It wasn't Catholicism?"  Osiris inquired.


"I know very little about Catholicism," Cardinal JM replied, "which probably explains why I was named a Cardinal.  If I had known even less, I would have probably been elected Pope at the Papal Conclave back in 2013."

"Why did you arrange for us to meet tonight?" Osiris ordered a martini with extra olives from the waiter.


"I have a gift for you," Cardinal JM put a small box on the table, "this was recently found in the Vatican Archives."


Osiris opened the box and cried, "My original phallus."


"Yes," Cardinal JM nodded and smiled, "the one that your brother Set cut off so brutally in Egypt many millennia ago in a procedure which these days may or may not be covered under modern Obamacare, I'd have to check on that."


"The one piece of my original 14 dismembered body parts that my sister, wife and lover Isis was never able to find," Osiris wept.


"It was found back in 1922 by a Jesuit Egyptologist who died after being bitten by an asp on his ass," the Cardinal explained, "our aging archivist only got around to cataloging it this year."


To be continued.


-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Wednesday November 4th
 2015.


Sent from my iPhone