Nostradamus and The Force Awakens

Nostradamus and The Force Awakens

Vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol  were discussing a movie that both men had seen when they were younger but neither man could remember the name.


The plot was about a movie within a movie.


A movie was opening in a small single cinema theatre.


The movie was about a group of young people opening up the grave of Nostradamus to locate his golden (or was it silver?) mask.


Outside the theatre, a group of young people were preparing for opening night of this movie.

Two friends were excited about seeing the film.


A beautiful young woman who worked as an usherette at the cinema was putting on her short skirted usherette uniform.


And so on.

And so forth.


In the lobby of the cinema, there was a motorcycle with a mannequin sitting on it wearing the Mask of Nostradamus.


When the movie started, it showed a group of young people in France opening up the grave of Nostradamus.


A movie theatre goer returning from the washroom decided to take off the Mask of Nostradamus from the motorcycle riding mannequin in the lobby.


At the same time on the movie screen in the theatre, someone was removing the Mask of Nostradamus from Nostradamus' corpse.


The movie goer in the cinema lobby then put on the Mask of Nostradamus himself.

On the screen within the movie, one of the young people desecrating and robbing Nostradamus' grave likewise put on the mask in the movie.


The young person in the movie screamed and threw off the mask as he received an instantaneous case of facial boils as well as the bubonic plague through contact with the mask.

The young person in the lobby likewise screamed when he came down with the exact same ailments (facial boils and bubonic plague) after coming into contact with the mask.


Anyways what happened to the young people in the movie in that graveyard in France likewise happened to the young people in that single theatre cinema in a small American city.


"That was an interesting film," Dracul commented, "never saw it again on television or video or anywhere else. I first saw it in a single cinema theatre myself which made it more terrifying given the premises of the plot. Those were the days before the advent of the multiplex cineplexes. There was the occasional duplex cinemas which had two theatres.  There was something quaint and cozy about those old single theatre cinemas. Not many left anymore."


"And like me, you can't remember the name of the film?" Peter Whitstable scratched his head.


"No," Dracul shook his head, "I'm still trying to remember the name of a movie I saw on TCM a few months ago about a guy who visited a beautiful woman with a lovely singing voice who lived in a house on the moon every time he time travelled between the present and the past."


"I hate that when you can't remember the name of something," Whitstable grimaced then laughed.

"It can be very aggravating at times," Dracul Van Helsing agreed.


"You're probably wondering why I brought that movie up," Whitstable queried.


"I suspect there's method to your madness," Dracul smiled.


"Are you familiar with the research of the lovely biochemist and geneticist Victoria Chang at the University of Maryland?" Whistable inquired.


"No, I'm not," Dracul replied, "how lovely is she?".


"Very lovely, indeed," Whitstable answered, "anyways Miss Chang has discovered a trace of alien ET DNA within the human genome. Dating back roughly around 6000 years ago- about the time the angelic Watchers were said to have mated with mortal human women according to Genesis Chapter 6 and the 1st Book of Enoch. The time period also spoken of by ancient alien astronaut theorists on the History Channel TV program Ancient Aliens."


"That's interesting," Dracul acknowledged, "but what does that have to do with the Nostradamus film you mentioned?".


"Well, I was recently contacted by a film editor who works in the movie industry," Whitstable explained, "he was one of the many editors who worked on the new Star Wars film The Force Awakens.  He says a new scene has suddenly been added to the movie and he finds it somewhat strange. So he managed to clandestinely email me the scene. I too found it strange. So on a lark or maybe call it a psychic hunch, I emailed the scene to Victoria Chang and told her to show it to some of her subjects in her alien ET human genome research."


"And what happened when Miss Chang showed that scene to her alien ET human genome subjects?" Dracul inquired.


"Well," Peter wrote down the X-Files slogan The Truth Is Out There on the piece of paper in front of him, "some of the subjects actually turned into ETs- gray aliens or little green men and women and a few into raving multi-headed monsters with bulging eyes and reptilian claws."


"Those in the last category mentioned will presumably be able to get jobs with the IRS, " Dracul reflected thoughtfully.


"But according to Miss Chang's hypothesis," Peter Whitstable helped himself to one of the James Bond style martinis that Van Helsing had made, "every one on the planet has a slight trace of this alien ET DNA within their genetic make-up.  So what will happen when millions and millions of people go into movie theatres to see what will probably be the biggest movie blockbuster of this decade Star Wars The Force Awakens? Will viewing that particular scene likewise trigger the alien ET DNA in their bodies and turn numerous theatre goers into alien grays or little green beings or multi-headed monsters with bulging eyes and reptilian claws?".


"It will be déjà vu Nostradamus all over again," Dracul sipped his own martini, "although hopefully minus the facial boils and outbreak of bubonic plague."


-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Saturday December 5th
 2015.


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