Today was the old Catholic Feast Day of Saint Thomas Aquinas- March 7th.
It had since been moved to January 28th.
But Cardinal JM's personal secretary Father Oliver Thomas Wardenclyffe spent this day lighting a candle and praying in front of a statue of Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld.
He was recalling his good friend and fellow theologian Herr Hans.
Herr Hans had worshipped the ancient Egyptian gods while he Father Wardenclyffe worshipped the ancient Greek gods.
Herr Hans had hung himself in his theological faculty's library Egyptology section back on Christmas Day 2012 when the god whom he worshipped- the ancient Egyptian god Osiris failed to return to Earth on December 21st 2012 like Herr Hans believed he would.
Little did either Herr Hans or Father Wardenclyffe know that the reason Osiris failed to return to Earth on December 21st 2012 was because a Russian nuclear submarine had fired a laser death ray at Osiris' spaceship over Vancouver's English Bay- which had sent both the spaceship and occupant Osiris into oblivion.
Of course Renfield R. Renfield the shapeshifting hamster/human chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (Osiris' evil brother) liked to boast that it was his playing a Rihanna song backwards that caused Osiris' spaceship to crash.
But that had nothing to do with it.
Although it did cause a transvestite Rihanna impersonator to commit hara-kiri on the sands along the Bay in total violation of the City of Vancouver's strict bylaws against polluting the beach.
"Whether you're in the Greek underworld or Egyptian underworld, I miss you my friend," Father Wardenclyffe got up and left the chapel.
For he had a few Cardinals to blackmail in hopes of enticing them to vote for his master Cardinal JM's preferred papal candidate.
To be continued.
No comments:
Post a Comment