Santa Claus was on the beach handing out candy canes to the children.
One little boy said, "I was talking on the phone to my Southern Baptist grandmother last night and she said I shouldn't talk or write to you anymore because you're gay. She said she read on the Net that you were married in a same sex ceremony on the beach yesterday."
"That wasn't me, sonny," Santa replied, "that's only somebody who looked like me."
As Santa continued to hand out small presents to kids on the beach, Renfield R. Renfield was taking aim with his semi-automatic weapon.
He pulled the trigger.
"That's what you get for not giving me the nuclear-missile loaded atomic submarine I asked for last Christmas," Renfield laughed.
Santa fell to the ground as blood poured from his forehead staining his snow white beard.
The kids ran away screaming.
"Those kids are going to have traumatic nightmares for the rest of their lives," Renfield cackled as he downed a glass of beer, "so tonight I'll have created a whole new generation of future psychopaths. Bwahahahah!".
Amadeus was horrified.
"And I was about to walk down to the seashore and ask Santa for a candy cane," Amadeus blubbered.
"Sweet dreams are made of this," Renfield tried to impersonate Annie Lennox's singing voice but failed miserably.
To be continued.
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