Is The U. S. Spying On German Chancellor Angela Merkel's Mobile Phone?
"The United States is not monitoring and will not monitor the communications of the Chancellor," White House spokesman Jay Carney told the media assembled in the White House briefing room.
. . .
"That's very true," Renfield R. Renfield said as he looked at the TV screen.
The shapeshifting hamster/human chief of security for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set suddenly noticed a red button light up in the computer monitoring room he was in at Set's colossal West London mansion.
"Ah, another call coming in," Renfield smiled.
Renfield put on his headphones.
It was Russian President Vladimir Putin phoning the German Chancellor asking on behalf of the Kremlin chef if he could have Mrs. Merkel's personal recipe for homemade German sausages and sauerkraut.
Mrs. Merkel gave the Russian President the recipe.
When the conversation ended, Renfield stopped the recording.
Since he could not speak German himself, Renfield phoned a lusty, sexy and voluptuous blonde German dominatrix he often visited whenever he was in Berlin.
Renfield played the recording for Helga.
Helga translated.
Renfield wrote everything down.
He then phoned the NSA (U.S. National Security Agency) in Washington D.C. and passed on the pertinent information.
"It's fun being a freelancer now and again," Renfield smiled as he looked at his cheque from the U.S. government.
He better hurry out and cash it down at the bank just on the off-chance that the U.S. Congress might do something extraordinarily stupid in the next 24 hours and send the American economy into a tailspin and dry up U.S. government revenues.
. . .
America's First Lady Michelle Obama was on the phone talking to the White House chef making final arrangements for a special upcoming dinner at the White House.
"Oh and one more thing," Mrs. Obama looked at the piece of paper in front of her, "I just got this new recipe for homemade German sausages and sauerkraut..."
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 23rd
2013
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Pan Goatee's VISA Commercial
Pan Goatee's VISA Commercial
Genetically created half-man half-goat satyr Pan Goatee was now doing TV commercials for VISA.
"Hello," Pan Goatee was shown suntanning on a sun chair on a tropical beach holding a lime margarita with a cute little umbrella in it, "sometimes you never know when your life is going to change. Earlier this year I was a serial killer wanted by Scotland Yard, Interpol and Europol for all the murders I committed across Britain and Europe. Today I work as a hired assassin for the U. S. government."
Pan Goatee takes a sip of his Margarita and grins at the camera.
"I find that my ability to astral project is quite handy in my line of work," Pan Goatee finishes his Margarita, "but one thing I found to be a pain in the butt is not every credit card has the ability to astral project with me. So that's why I always take VISA."
Pan Goatee smiles as he holds up a VISA Gold credit card with his name PAN GOATEE written on it.
Voice of actor Morgan Freeman at the end of the commercial, "Wherever you have to go in the universe, always go with VISA."
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 9th
2013
Genetically created half-man half-goat satyr Pan Goatee was now doing TV commercials for VISA.
"Hello," Pan Goatee was shown suntanning on a sun chair on a tropical beach holding a lime margarita with a cute little umbrella in it, "sometimes you never know when your life is going to change. Earlier this year I was a serial killer wanted by Scotland Yard, Interpol and Europol for all the murders I committed across Britain and Europe. Today I work as a hired assassin for the U. S. government."
Pan Goatee takes a sip of his Margarita and grins at the camera.
"I find that my ability to astral project is quite handy in my line of work," Pan Goatee finishes his Margarita, "but one thing I found to be a pain in the butt is not every credit card has the ability to astral project with me. So that's why I always take VISA."
Pan Goatee smiles as he holds up a VISA Gold credit card with his name PAN GOATEE written on it.
Voice of actor Morgan Freeman at the end of the commercial, "Wherever you have to go in the universe, always go with VISA."
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 9th
2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Pan Goatee Living The High Life
Pan Goatee Living The High Life
Pan Goatee was living the high life in a penthouse apartment in Washington D. C.
Two months ago he had been detained by Egyptian customs authorities in Cairo for not having a valid visa.
So he took out his astral machete and killed them all.
Hearing of this, DARPA employee Jack Jarvis who had been assigned to track down the astral projecting serial killer immediately flew to Egypt.
Finding Pan Goatee atop the Great Pyramid where he was asking "Where's the Capstone?", Jarvis asked him to come work for the U.S. government as a hired assassin carrying out targeted killings on behalf of dear old Uncle Sam.
Pan Goatee agreed.
So now here he was living the high life living in a penthouse apartment with a great view of the Potomac and being paid an obscenely luxurious salary carrying out targeted killings and assassinations for the U.S. government.
Even better he was still being paid that salary despite the U. S. government shutdown that had occurred today since being a hired assassin astral projecting killer was deemed an essential service by the government.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 1st 2013
Pan Goatee was living the high life in a penthouse apartment in Washington D. C.
Two months ago he had been detained by Egyptian customs authorities in Cairo for not having a valid visa.
So he took out his astral machete and killed them all.
Hearing of this, DARPA employee Jack Jarvis who had been assigned to track down the astral projecting serial killer immediately flew to Egypt.
Finding Pan Goatee atop the Great Pyramid where he was asking "Where's the Capstone?", Jarvis asked him to come work for the U.S. government as a hired assassin carrying out targeted killings on behalf of dear old Uncle Sam.
Pan Goatee agreed.
So now here he was living the high life living in a penthouse apartment with a great view of the Potomac and being paid an obscenely luxurious salary carrying out targeted killings and assassinations for the U.S. government.
Even better he was still being paid that salary despite the U. S. government shutdown that had occurred today since being a hired assassin astral projecting killer was deemed an essential service by the government.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 1st 2013
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