Monday, May 30, 2011

Demonic Spiritual Vampirism

"Tonight our special guest at St. Alban's Church is Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing," the Rev. Oswald Wainwright of the Personal Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham stated, "and the topic he'll be speaking on tonight is Demonic Spiritual Vampirism."

"Thank you, Father Wainwright," Dracul Van Helsing addressed the audience, "Christ told us not to fear those who kill the body but rather fear those with the ability to kill both body and soul in Hell."

"Now with physical vampires, if they drain you of all your blood, they can kill your body. If they turn you into a vampire yourself, they can make both your body and soul suffer their same Hellish and nocturnal existence for possible long periods of time but the vampiric life itself does not last forever. If the vampire is evil, it can have its life ended by a vampire hunter according to a little known international law that was agreed on at the Congress of Vienna back in 1815."

"Now what about vampires that can kill both body and soul? Well technically speaking, they are not vampires. They are demons or fallen angels. Hence tonight's topic- demonic spiritual vampirism."

"The problem with demonic spiritual vampirism is that it has innumerable human disciples. And the hardest demonic spiritual vampirism is that which tries to pose as an Angel of Light like the Apostle Saint Paul warned us about."

"So in terms of demonic spiritual vampirism, what can it best be understood as in terms of human philosophy- in terms of its thinking among human beings? In the ancient past, demonic spiritual vampirism can be best understood under the term gnosticism. According to the ancient gnostics, the material world was evil. The material world was the creation of an evil demi-urge. So while according to the teaching of Biblical Christianity and orthodox Catholicism, the creation of the material world was a good thing and the creation of a good God, according to the gnostics, the material world was the creation of an evil Deity."

"Again according to Biblical Christianity and orthodox Catholicism, Jesus Christ was the Incarnation of the good Deity- the Logos- the Word of God- who created the world- the Cosmos- according to the opening chapter of Saint John's Gospel.

However that was not the Gnostic view of Christ. According to the Gnostics, Jesus and the Christ were not the same. Remember Saint John told us in his Epistles who ever denies that Jesus is the Christ is of the spirit of Antichrist. So gnostics as a group went back quite early - back to the lifetime of the Apostle John. And the Apostle John gave us his opinion of them and what spirit they operated under.

For the gnostics believed that Jesus operated under the guiding spirit of an emanation of the good God in the Cosmos. The gnostics believed that the good God would have nothing to do with matter. The good God would operate in the realm of spirit only. So the good God would have to reach down to the physical material world through a series of emanations of Himself. One emanation would create another emanation and so on and so forth.

It would only be an evil deity that would create a physical material world according to gnostic beliefs.

But when the evil deity created a material world and entrapped spirits in that world, the good God sent several sparks or emanations of Himself to rescue the entrapped Spirits by calling them to remembrance of their pre-material Creation selves.

How many different emanations of God entered the cosmos varied from group to group of gnostics. One early pseudo-Christian gnostic group had as many as 32 different emanations of the good God in the evil material cosmos.

Anyways the gnostic groups agreed that Jesus operated under one of these many emanations. And different names were given to that emanation by different gnostic groups.

Today's contemporary gnostics- the New Age Movement- give the term Christ Consciousness to the emanation of the divine spark that fell on Jesus.

And today's gnostics- the New Age Movement may not necessarily say that the material cosmos is evil. Some would say that it's maya- or illusion- an adoption of Buddhist philosophy.

The material realm does not actually exist. Only the world of Spirit exists.

We just imagine that the physical material realm exists.

So within gnosticism- both ancient and contemporary New Age- there is contempt for the material physical realm- either regarding it as evil or regarding it as illusory.

And according to the near unanimous teaching of the Church Fathers, there was one spiritual being who did regard the material physical realm with sheer loathing and contempt. Who thought that God should not have created a physical material realm.

The name of that spiritual being was Lucifer.

And Theosophist founders Helena Petrovna Blavatsky, Annie Besant and Alice A. Bailey (it was their ideas which gave birth to the modern New Age movement) agree.

For according to them, Lucifer was the true god and the good god.

Jehovah who created a material physical realm was an evil god.

Albert Pike who wrote Masonry's most important book Morals and Dogma agreed that Lucifer was the good god and that Adonai (the god of the Old Testament) was the evil god.

Masonic historian Manly P. Hall agreed saying that "the Masonic adept has the seething energy of Lucifer in his hands."

Of course some New Agers are not so blatant in proclaiming Lucifer as the good god.

Many are pantheistic in their philosophy- saying everything and everyone is god. They have god within them.

These particular groups of contemporary gnostics and New Agers who do not consciously say that Lucifer is the good god instead say that everything is god.

This idea is akin to the idea of the Force in George Lucas' Star Wars movies.

There is a good side and a dark side to the Force.

So with these latter New Agers, there is a good side and a dark side to the pantheistic god of the cosmos.

These pantheistic New Agers hold to the maxim that "All is one" and that "god is within all things."

Rather than pray to an external god out there, they seek to attune themselves with the god within.

The exponents of this philosophy include Richard Bach the author of the books Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Illusions and One and Eckhart Tolle the author of the books The Power of Now and A New Earth.

It is the ideology behind A Course In Miracles which sadly Oprah Winfrey has promoted.

A Course In Miracles was dictated to an atheistic psychologist Helen Schucman by a spirit who identified itself to her as Jesus.

So what do I see will be the end result of all this demonic spiritual vampirism- this idea that the physical material world is either evil or illusory and that God is not a personal being but an impersonal force that permeates the cosmos including ourselves- that god is within us?

I think the answer is to be found in George Orwell's book Animal Farm.

When the animals' revolution first overthrows Farmer Jones, the sign reads "All animals are equal".

But when the farm ends up being run by a new hierarchical class- a committee of pigs- the sign is changed to "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others."

So today's neo-gnostics and New Agers proclaim, "We are all god."

But when the epitome of demonic spiritual vampirism- the Final Antichrist prophesied by Saint John in the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse (also known as the Book of Revelation) arrives on the world stage in the not so distant future- it will change from "We are all god" to "One (the Antichrist) is more god than others" and this One will demand the personal worship of all who inhabit this planet Earth."

-Dracul Van Helsing, May 30th 2011.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Renfield's Music Video- The Killing of Natalia

Dracul Van Helsing had been invited to a meeting with Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell the Executive Vice-President of Aulos Music and Recording.

"Thank you for coming, Mr. Van Helsing," the record exec shook the vampire hunter's hand, "I thought I would see you while that insidious individual Renfield R. Renfield still lies in a coma in a hospital here in London."

"I understand he kidnapped and held your pet cat, Oysterella hostage last year," the vampire hunter stated sympathetically.

Oysterella jumped up on Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell's lap and started purring.

"Yes, and my poor pussy has never been the same, have you?" Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell started stroking Oysterella.

"You brought me here to see something?" Van Helsing asked.

"Yes, you may have heard that Renfield R. Renfield occasionally flies out to California to make hard-core porn videos," Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell straightened his wire-rimmed glasses.

"Yes, so I've heard," Van Helsing nodded, "I also understand he freelances hard-core interrogation techniques on terrorist suspects for both the CIA and Scotland Yard."

"Yes, they say he was the one who finally broke the camel's back in the hunt to find Osama bin Laden's whereabouts last summer," sniffed Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell.

"Yes, it's my understanding that the particular suspect he was questioning Abdullah bin Mohammed was somewhat of a pervert as any Arabic ruler of Masons posing as a lapsed Seventh Day Adventist would be," Van Helsing sat down, "and the said Abdullah bin Mohammed really loved his camel in more ways than one. He would gladly walk more than a mile for his camel to paraphrase old cigarette ads of mid-20th century America. And so when Renfield broke his camel's back which meant no more humping between Abdullah bin Mohammed and his camel, that's when the said bestial pervert broke down and finally revealed the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden's hideout in the compound near the Pakistani military base at Abbottabad. And the rest as they say is history."

"What's become of Abdullah bin Mohammed now?" Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell asked.

"I believe he's currently a would-be serial killer with his own blog where he writes down his rambling incoherent pseudo-intellectual idiocies that only appeal to nutty female New Agers who are very much into New Age psychobabble and alleged self-esteem and self-improvement preaching," Van Helsing replied.

"Oh, one of those," Heathcliff sniffed.

"You said you have something to show me?" Van Helsing again asked.

"Yes, I was told that Renfield R. Renfield played a huge part in the scripting and making of this rather disturbing music video, I was wanting you to watch it and tell me what you think of it," said Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell, "I suppose you've heard of Monarch programming?".

"The programming and brainwashing techniques that were developed by the Nazi SS in the late 1930s and then later adapted by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency in several infamous brainwashing experiments of the 1950s?" Van Helsing queried.

"That's right," Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell nodded, "I think our friend Renfield R. Renfield seems to be an expert in this area of Monarch programming."


Friday, May 13, 2011

The Beautiful Lady vs. The Demonic Monster of Samhain

Amadeus Emanon was in a small second-hand shop and antique store in London.

He saw a small statue of a beautiful Lady and decided to buy it when he noticed the price was only 5 pounds.


* * *

Later Amadeus dropped by the Set Enterprises Laboratory where Dr. Cadbury Rocher was trying to revive the body of a strange creature that an Irish archaeological team had found in an Irish bog.

When an Irish archaeologist specializing in Celtic folklore suggested the body was of an ancient monster who was worshipped on the Celtic Feast Day of Samhain, Set arranged to have the body stolen and revived as the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set figured he needed all the supernatural allies he could get in the coming war against Isis and also Osiris when the latter returned to Earth in 2012.

As the electrical charge went through the strange white furry looking monster's body, it rose up.

It came to the laboratory window.

When it saw the statue of the beautiful Lady that Amadeus bought, it let out a fierce cry and disintegrated much to Dr. Cadbury Rocher's dismay.


* * *

The statue that Amadeus had purchased was one of Our Lady of Fatima.

Coincidentally the Feast Day of Our Lady of Fatima was today May 13th- marking the 94th anniversary of the appearance of the Blessed Virgin Mary Mother of Jesus in the tiny Portuguese village of Fatima back on May 13th, 1917.

This particular statue of Our Lady of Fatima that Amadeus had purchased had been personally blessed by Pope John Paul II back in the year 2000.

When the statue's owner a woman in her 70s had died two years ago, her son an ardent admirer of British militant atheist Richard Dawkins had sold it to the antique shop where Amadeus later purchased it.

And so the statue that showed Our Lady crushing the head of a serpent had crushed another serpent- one in the Set Enterprises Lab- a demonic monster that Set had hoped to revive.

To be continued.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Renfield's Dream of the Soup Nazi and Osama bin Laden

As Renfield R. Renfield lay still unconscious in his hospital bed in King's College Hospital, London, Michelangelo the psychic lobster (who had been genetically engineered to have psychic abilities) was in his aquarium in the Set Enterprises' Lab.

At the computer Michelangelo had one of his antennae hooked up to, Michelangelo decided to enter Renfield's mind and implant images in his dreams.

The first image was from a TV show- a rerun of an old Seinfeld episode.

The episode about the Soup Nazi.

The image Renfield saw in his dream was of the Soup Nazi taking away a bowl of soup from George Costanza.

The Soup Nazi wagged his finger at George Costanza and said, "No soup for you."

The next image Michelangelo created himself and implanted in Renfield's mind.

The image was of Osama bin Laden standing outside the Gates of Paradise only to be greeted by the Archangel Gabriel.

"Where are the 72 dark-eyed virgins that the Quran promised me?" Osama asked.

The Archangel Gabriel wagged his finger at Osama and said, "No virgins for you."

He then booted the terrorist down to the flames of Hell.

Renfield R. Renfield was forced to guffaw in his sleep as he saw this.

To be continued.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mountain of Ash

Mountain of ash
mountain of dust
mountain of bones
black cat squeals in the howling wind
crow caws and raven flitters
the light is gone out in the valley
storm cloud on storm cloud
the growing darkness builds
laughing figure steps on remains of a dove
taloned wings fly in from above
the play is ended
the curtain rent
down crashes the circus tent.
Hope is gone
despair is king
wearing a very dark gem
on its ring.

-A poem written by Dracul Van Helsing
Saturday, May 7th 2011.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Thor At The Movie Premiere of Thor

Amadeus Emanon ate his popcorn as he stood in line outside a movie theatre in London waiting for the midnight Premiere of the movie Thor to open.

"You brought your own popcorn?" his girlfriend the New Orleans vampiress and operatic songstress Angelique Dumont said as she smoothed her navy blue skirt.

"Yes, to prevent my getting hungry while I stand in line," Amadeus answered.

Just then a pizza delivery boy on a bicycle came up to him.

"You the Amadeus Emanon that called us on your BlackBerry?" the boy asked.

"That's right," Amadeus nodded.

"You ordered the ham, pineapple and curried chicken pizza?" the boy produced a box.

"Yes," Amadeus paid and tipped the boy.

He opened the box and offered a slice to Angelique.

"You think of everything," Angelique laughed as she threw back her hair, "so where is Renfield this evening?".

"He's still lying unconscious in a bed of the neurosciences unit of King's College Hospital," Amadeus replied.

"You mean after he knocked himself out when he discovered that you and your boss Set's manservant Athelstan had both been invited to the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton and he hadn't," Angelique smirked.

"That's right," Amadeus bit into a slice of the steaming hot ham, pineapple and curried chicken pizza.

"Say, get a load of that guy there dressed like Thor," Angelique pointed.

Amadeus looked in the direction that Angelique pointed.

The Thor like figure flashed a smile showing vampiric incisors.

Amadeus stopped eating and gasped, "Say, you really are the ancient Norse vampire Thor aren't you?".

"Yes," Thor moved in threateningly with his hammer Mjollnir, "I am the son of Odin. I've come to see how Hollywood depicts me."

"Very sympathetically I would imagine," Amadeus reached for his Crucifix in his jacket pocket.

"Yes, probably," Thor laughed and walked to the front of the line.

"Very sinister person in real life," Angelique noted.

"Not at all like the Marvel Comics character," Amadeus put the Crucifix back in his pocket and swallowed a pineapple off his pizza slice.

To be continued.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Summoning The Ghost of Alexander VI The Borgia Pope

Having summoned Hitler's ghost in Berlin the night before, Herr Hans flew to Rome the following day (Sunday, May 1st 2011) to perform his own little ceremony in opposition to Pope Benedict XVI's beatification of Pope John Paul II.

At the same time as Benedict was beatifying John Paul, Herr Hans was at the tomb of the Borgia Pope Alexander VI in the Church of Santa Maria in Monserrato degli Spagnoli in Rome.

He was using the same Druidic book of black magic spells with which he had summoned Adolf Hitler's ghost to summon the ghost of Rodrigo Lanzol Borgia (January 1st 1431- August 18th 1503) known to history as the notorious and infamous Pope Alexander VI (who reigned as Pope from August 11th 1492- August 18th 1503).

As the Church bells of Rome tolled at the announcement of John Paul II"s beatification, the ghost of Rodrigo Lanzol Borgia (Pope Alexander VI) appeared to a smiling Herr Hans.

Behind Borgia's ghost was a horned figure who spoke the same words that Giovanni di Lorenzo de' Medici (later Pope Leo X) spoke at the time of Rodrigo Lanzol Cardinal Borgia's election as Pope Alexander VI,

"Now we are in the power of a wolf, the most rapacious perhaps that this world has ever seen. "

Above the tomb of Alexander VI, these words were burned in the air (a paraphrase of the second sentence of Giovanni di Lorenzo de' Medici's statement upon Borgia's election as Pope Alexander VI),

"And citizens of Urbi et Orbi (the city and the world) if you do not flee, he will inevitably devour you all."

To be continued.