The Cobra On The Temple Mount
On this last day of March in the year 2014, Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol once again stood on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.
He once again looked for signs of the panther Konalu the supernatural entity that was astral projected at a great distance by Fenrir the Norse apocalyptic wolf of the Battle of Ragnarok.
But no Konalu.
He also looked around for signs of the demon Asmodeus that he had recently spotted on the Temple Mount.
But no Asmodeus.
What he saw instead was a giant Cobra seemingly emerging from the center of the Earth below the Temple Mount.
The Cobra rose and rose.
And stood atop the Temple Mount rising to a tremendous height above the City of Jerusalem- the same height as the statue of Christ the Redeemer that overlooks the City of Rio de Janeiro in Brazil.
People on and around the Temple Mount were oblivious to the presence of the Cobra as if it were an invisible force.
Muslim believers continued to enter and exit the al-Aqsa Mosque.
Jewish believers continued to pray at the Wailing Wall at the foot of the western side of the Temple Mount.
And confused American tourists at the bottom of the Temple Mount asked whereabouts was the Temple of Solomon as they wanted to get a pic of it to post to their Facebook page.
The Cobra bared its fangs and let out a huge hiss.
The hiss seemed to attract a huge flock of ferocious looking ravens who flew down and settled all over the Temple Mount.
Opposite the Temple Mount in the eastern sky flew a lone white dove.
In his mind, Whitstable thought he could hear a soft gentle female voice singing,
Fly little white dove fly
spread your wings sing out your cry
'cross the universal sky...
The little white dove turned and flew away looking for a land where it would truly feel welcome.
It had a long way to fly.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 31st
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, March 31, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Inside The Old Dark House: A Poem
Inside The Old Dark House: A Poem
An old abandoned farmhouse
an old country road
old signpost pointing to an old prairie town no longer there
sound of a dog barking
but no dog there
its bones long turned to dust
The hum of an engine running
in the old Chevy truck
no longer on wheels
and no longer with engine
sounds echoing from a distant past
maybe not so distant
the distant yesterday
that was our grandparents' today
Inside the windows of the house
curtains laced with dust
the calling card of decades of neglect
cobwebs cover old photos
of a time when pictures were seen on walls
and not computer and smart phone screens
pictures with memories
memories of people no longer here
and people possibly no longer remembered
Old stove
powered by wood and flame
and not the push of a distant remote button
Up the old creaky stairs
to old bedrooms
Beds buried under old sheets
as abandoned as the house itself
On the dresser
the ticking of an old clock
that no longer ticks
both hands frozen at the same time
12 o' clock
whether noon or midnight it now forever shows no one knows
but then again no one now sees
so no one cares whether it shows
the high noon of a forgotten yesterday
or the midnight of a new day that never came
Down the old creaky stairs again
to the parlour
on the mantle above the old fireplace
a radio with broken dial
and broken tuner
and a dead lifetime warranty battery
No sound can be heard
and yet a distant voice
a voice from a long distant yesterday of the late 1930s
a voice speaking in German
"We are satisfied with just the Sudetenland"
And in the center of the room
an old television
a giant of a thing
a dinosaur from a prehistoric age of electronics
"RCA- it's our latest"
today it would seem so last week
which by this minute and today's standards is indeed so last millennium
a set whose voice would say "I love Lucy"
and "we've got a really big shoo for you this evening... a really big shoo"
A TV that ran on an antenna
no cable or satellite here
The phone rings it seems
on a phone attached to a plug in the wall
a plug eaten away by time... and rodents...
tied in to a phone line swept away by the winds... the wind of the prairie.. and the wind of change...
The old radio creaks once again in German, "We are satisfied with just the Sudetenland" ...
The old television with its old antenna seems to momentarily blip on...
... picking up a signal from today...
... in one of those strange moments in time...
... where it seems yesterday and today and tomorrow meet and intersect...
in some eternal now...
"We have no interest in taking Ukraine" the smiling bald- headed man assures the world in Russian
as the radio spits and sputters in German
and the phone continues to ring...
... Perhaps there is something the past can still tell us...
... if we have ears to hear..
... The dog barks...
... The clock ticks...
... And the hands show 12...
- A poem written by Christopher
Sunday March 30th 2014.
Sent from my iPhone
An old abandoned farmhouse
an old country road
old signpost pointing to an old prairie town no longer there
sound of a dog barking
but no dog there
its bones long turned to dust
The hum of an engine running
in the old Chevy truck
no longer on wheels
and no longer with engine
sounds echoing from a distant past
maybe not so distant
the distant yesterday
that was our grandparents' today
Inside the windows of the house
curtains laced with dust
the calling card of decades of neglect
cobwebs cover old photos
of a time when pictures were seen on walls
and not computer and smart phone screens
pictures with memories
memories of people no longer here
and people possibly no longer remembered
Old stove
powered by wood and flame
and not the push of a distant remote button
Up the old creaky stairs
to old bedrooms
Beds buried under old sheets
as abandoned as the house itself
On the dresser
the ticking of an old clock
that no longer ticks
both hands frozen at the same time
12 o' clock
whether noon or midnight it now forever shows no one knows
but then again no one now sees
so no one cares whether it shows
the high noon of a forgotten yesterday
or the midnight of a new day that never came
Down the old creaky stairs again
to the parlour
on the mantle above the old fireplace
a radio with broken dial
and broken tuner
and a dead lifetime warranty battery
No sound can be heard
and yet a distant voice
a voice from a long distant yesterday of the late 1930s
a voice speaking in German
"We are satisfied with just the Sudetenland"
And in the center of the room
an old television
a giant of a thing
a dinosaur from a prehistoric age of electronics
"RCA- it's our latest"
today it would seem so last week
which by this minute and today's standards is indeed so last millennium
a set whose voice would say "I love Lucy"
and "we've got a really big shoo for you this evening... a really big shoo"
A TV that ran on an antenna
no cable or satellite here
The phone rings it seems
on a phone attached to a plug in the wall
a plug eaten away by time... and rodents...
tied in to a phone line swept away by the winds... the wind of the prairie.. and the wind of change...
The old radio creaks once again in German, "We are satisfied with just the Sudetenland" ...
The old television with its old antenna seems to momentarily blip on...
... picking up a signal from today...
... in one of those strange moments in time...
... where it seems yesterday and today and tomorrow meet and intersect...
in some eternal now...
"We have no interest in taking Ukraine" the smiling bald- headed man assures the world in Russian
as the radio spits and sputters in German
and the phone continues to ring...
... Perhaps there is something the past can still tell us...
... if we have ears to hear..
... The dog barks...
... The clock ticks...
... And the hands show 12...
- A poem written by Christopher
Sunday March 30th 2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Haiku About Freddy Krueger Playing U. S. College Basketball
Haiku About Freddy Krueger Playing U. S. College Basketball
See Freddy Krueger
long nails cut off heads in hoops
March Madness indeed
See Freddy Krueger
long nails cut off heads in hoops
March Madness indeed
Friday, March 28, 2014
Lilith In Saudi Arabia
Lilith In Saudi Arabia
The beautiful and sexy Babylonian Vampiress Lilith was in Saudi Arabia.
She was inside the oasis camp of Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah outside the Saudi capital of Riyadh.
She had come to eavesdrop on the conversation between Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah and U.S. President Barack Obama.
She flew directly over the King's Saudi bodyguard.
And she had no trouble getting past the U.S. Secret Service detail who were supposed to be guarding U.S. President Barack Obama.
All she had to do was lift up her dress and the U.S. Secret Service bodyguards immediately started masturbating on the spot.
She hearkened to the room where President Obama and King Abdullah were meeting.
She hid behind a curtain and listened.
When the meeting was over, she turned into a bat and flew off into the night.
As he was leaving, President Obama decided to shake the hand of the lead U.S. Secret Service agent who had been guarding him.
"Good God," were President Obama's first words as he boarded the Marine One helicopter, "anybody got a wet hand wipe?".
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 28th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
The beautiful and sexy Babylonian Vampiress Lilith was in Saudi Arabia.
She was inside the oasis camp of Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah outside the Saudi capital of Riyadh.
She had come to eavesdrop on the conversation between Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah and U.S. President Barack Obama.
She flew directly over the King's Saudi bodyguard.
And she had no trouble getting past the U.S. Secret Service detail who were supposed to be guarding U.S. President Barack Obama.
All she had to do was lift up her dress and the U.S. Secret Service bodyguards immediately started masturbating on the spot.
She hearkened to the room where President Obama and King Abdullah were meeting.
She hid behind a curtain and listened.
When the meeting was over, she turned into a bat and flew off into the night.
As he was leaving, President Obama decided to shake the hand of the lead U.S. Secret Service agent who had been guarding him.
"Good God," were President Obama's first words as he boarded the Marine One helicopter, "anybody got a wet hand wipe?".
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 28th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Renfield and Amadeus In Rome
Renfield and Amadeus In Rome
"So what are we doing in Rome?" Amadeus asked Renfield as he bought a plate of spaghetti and meatballs from a Roman street spaghetti vendor.
"Thought I'd do a little catch up on my hobby of blackmail and extortion," Renfield replied, "I find my other hobby of stamp collecting starts to get boring after a while. Plus licking the back of all those stamps starts to leave a nasty stain on the tongue."
"Who are you trying to blackmail in Rome?" Amadeus asked as he spilled spaghetti all over his tuxedo.
"I hear there are some U. S. Secret Service agents who remained behind in one of the rooms of the Vatican after today's meeting between President Obama and Pope Francis," Renfield smiled and helped himself to a meatball off Amadeus' bow tie, "so I thought I'd see what they were up to."
"Didn't 3 agents get sent home for drunken behavior in Amsterdam a few days ago?" Amadeus asked as he decided to open a pack of chop sticks to eat his spaghetti instead of using his hands.
"They did," Renfield looked at the video of the non-blackmail paying Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan eating a barbeque pulled pork sandwich he was about to upload to YouTube oblivious to the fact that Turkey had just blocked its citizens' access to YouTube, "and back in April 2012 twelve U.S. secret service agents were found guilty of gross misconduct for cavorting with prostitutes ahead of a summit in Cartagena Colombia that President Obama was attending."
"I wonder how you get to be a U.S. Secret Service agent," Amadeus mused out loud.
"They're in this room here according to Google Maps and the G.P.S. signal I'm receiving," Renfield burst through the door and started flashing pics with his iPhone.
"Oh shit," the Secret Service agent cried out who was undergoing an enema treatment from an Italian courtesan dressed in a Renaissance evening gown.
In this orgy of U.S. Secret Servants and Italian courtesans were to be found the Greek Vampiress Aphrodite dancing in the nude and a bald-headed and extremely obese dwarf (who was none other than the Greek Vampire Dionysus) pouring wine.
"God, I've captured in seconds what would have probably taken Michelangelo years to paint," Renfield cackled above the moans and groans of secret service agent and courtesan alike.
"I suppose you're referring to Michelangelo the Renaissance sculptor and painter and not the Boss' genetically created psychic lobster," Amadeus helped himself to some of Aphrodite's oysters.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 27th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
"So what are we doing in Rome?" Amadeus asked Renfield as he bought a plate of spaghetti and meatballs from a Roman street spaghetti vendor.
"Thought I'd do a little catch up on my hobby of blackmail and extortion," Renfield replied, "I find my other hobby of stamp collecting starts to get boring after a while. Plus licking the back of all those stamps starts to leave a nasty stain on the tongue."
"Who are you trying to blackmail in Rome?" Amadeus asked as he spilled spaghetti all over his tuxedo.
"I hear there are some U. S. Secret Service agents who remained behind in one of the rooms of the Vatican after today's meeting between President Obama and Pope Francis," Renfield smiled and helped himself to a meatball off Amadeus' bow tie, "so I thought I'd see what they were up to."
"Didn't 3 agents get sent home for drunken behavior in Amsterdam a few days ago?" Amadeus asked as he decided to open a pack of chop sticks to eat his spaghetti instead of using his hands.
"They did," Renfield looked at the video of the non-blackmail paying Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan eating a barbeque pulled pork sandwich he was about to upload to YouTube oblivious to the fact that Turkey had just blocked its citizens' access to YouTube, "and back in April 2012 twelve U.S. secret service agents were found guilty of gross misconduct for cavorting with prostitutes ahead of a summit in Cartagena Colombia that President Obama was attending."
"I wonder how you get to be a U.S. Secret Service agent," Amadeus mused out loud.
"They're in this room here according to Google Maps and the G.P.S. signal I'm receiving," Renfield burst through the door and started flashing pics with his iPhone.
"Oh shit," the Secret Service agent cried out who was undergoing an enema treatment from an Italian courtesan dressed in a Renaissance evening gown.
In this orgy of U.S. Secret Servants and Italian courtesans were to be found the Greek Vampiress Aphrodite dancing in the nude and a bald-headed and extremely obese dwarf (who was none other than the Greek Vampire Dionysus) pouring wine.
"God, I've captured in seconds what would have probably taken Michelangelo years to paint," Renfield cackled above the moans and groans of secret service agent and courtesan alike.
"I suppose you're referring to Michelangelo the Renaissance sculptor and painter and not the Boss' genetically created psychic lobster," Amadeus helped himself to some of Aphrodite's oysters.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 27th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Haikus About The Age of Aquarius and Its Foreshadowing
Haikus About The Age of Aquarius and Its Foreshadowing
The 1960s
rock musical Hair sees dawn
Aquarian Age
The summer of love
'67 in San Fran
flowers in their hair
The summer of death
'69 in LA means
there's blood everywhere
Charles Manson decrees
Helter Skelter is now here
so Sharon Tate dies
August 9th four die
August 10th two die
Manson's reign rains blood
The hippy era
from free love to bloody death
a dawn has gone wrong
This is the dawning
of the Age Aquarius
flowers bloom then wilt
Love followed by hate
flowers in hair gives way to
knives in hand below
The year 2012
some say Aquarian Age
has begun its run
Charles Manson figure
par excellence waits in wings
the dread Antichrist
-A series of Haikus
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 26th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
The 1960s
rock musical Hair sees dawn
Aquarian Age
The summer of love
'67 in San Fran
flowers in their hair
The summer of death
'69 in LA means
there's blood everywhere
Charles Manson decrees
Helter Skelter is now here
so Sharon Tate dies
August 9th four die
August 10th two die
Manson's reign rains blood
The hippy era
from free love to bloody death
a dawn has gone wrong
This is the dawning
of the Age Aquarius
flowers bloom then wilt
Love followed by hate
flowers in hair gives way to
knives in hand below
The year 2012
some say Aquarian Age
has begun its run
Charles Manson figure
par excellence waits in wings
the dread Antichrist
-A series of Haikus
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 26th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Isis Receives Offer From The NSA
Isis Receives Offer From The NSA
Deep in a crypt below Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris was a room known as the Interfaith Dialogue Room With Ancient Egyptian Religions that had been created in the heyday of the excitement of Vatican II.
Today the room was a highly advanced particle physics laboratory dedicated to re-assembling the particles and sub-atomic particles and nano-particles of the ancient Egyptian vampire Osiris who had disintegrated into such tiny particles when he had been blown to bits by a laser death ray fired at him by a Russian nuclear submarine when he attempted to return to Earth landing at Vancouver's English Bay on December 21st 2012.
Isis vowed vengeance on Vladimir Putin.
Now Isis received a communication from the NSA who likewise were anxious to stop Putin after he annexed Crimea.
The NSA offered to send over DARPA's best scientists to help in the task of sub-atomically putting Osiris back together again.
Isis emailed back that she'd gladly accept their help.
. . .
U. S. President Barack Obama looked at the personally autographed photo of the U.S. 's new ally the Egyptian Vampiress Isis.
"She looks a lot like the singer Rihanna," the President mused.
The description was accurate.
Isis could easily have been mistaken for Rihanna's identical twin sister or even doppelgänger.
Isis had also misplaced many a diamond in the sky during her nocturnal vampiric flights around Paris no doubt inspiring the lyrics of one of Rihanna's songs.
. . .
The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec who could have easily been mistaken for the doppelgänger or identical twin sister of actress Salma Hayek was currently flying over Venezuela.
She looked down and happened to see Russian nuclear warheads being attached to Russian SS-27 missiles.
She flew down to the ground gently landing on her spiked stilettos, lifted her skirt and pulled an iPhone out of her garter belt to call and inform Arizona Sen. John McCain of what she saw.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 25th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Deep in a crypt below Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris was a room known as the Interfaith Dialogue Room With Ancient Egyptian Religions that had been created in the heyday of the excitement of Vatican II.
Today the room was a highly advanced particle physics laboratory dedicated to re-assembling the particles and sub-atomic particles and nano-particles of the ancient Egyptian vampire Osiris who had disintegrated into such tiny particles when he had been blown to bits by a laser death ray fired at him by a Russian nuclear submarine when he attempted to return to Earth landing at Vancouver's English Bay on December 21st 2012.
Isis vowed vengeance on Vladimir Putin.
Now Isis received a communication from the NSA who likewise were anxious to stop Putin after he annexed Crimea.
The NSA offered to send over DARPA's best scientists to help in the task of sub-atomically putting Osiris back together again.
Isis emailed back that she'd gladly accept their help.
. . .
U. S. President Barack Obama looked at the personally autographed photo of the U.S. 's new ally the Egyptian Vampiress Isis.
"She looks a lot like the singer Rihanna," the President mused.
The description was accurate.
Isis could easily have been mistaken for Rihanna's identical twin sister or even doppelgänger.
Isis had also misplaced many a diamond in the sky during her nocturnal vampiric flights around Paris no doubt inspiring the lyrics of one of Rihanna's songs.
. . .
The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec who could have easily been mistaken for the doppelgänger or identical twin sister of actress Salma Hayek was currently flying over Venezuela.
She looked down and happened to see Russian nuclear warheads being attached to Russian SS-27 missiles.
She flew down to the ground gently landing on her spiked stilettos, lifted her skirt and pulled an iPhone out of her garter belt to call and inform Arizona Sen. John McCain of what she saw.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 25th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Peter Whitstable On The Temple Mount
Peter Whitstable On The Temple Mount
Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol stood on the Temple Mount.
He was looking for signs of a panther that had been seen on the Temple Mount.
Peter Whitstable believed the panther was Konalu a creature that was created by being astral projected from the mind of Fenrir the Battle of Ragnarok apocalyptic wolf from Norse mythology.
He decided it would be a good thing to get out of the office at Interpol's International Headquarters in Lyon, France because it looked like it would only be a matter of time before his co-workers called the men in the white suits bearing straight jackets and emerging from their paddy wagons.
While in Israel, he had asked to see the man at Mossad they called the Controller of the Golem.
His request for an appointment was turned down.
As he stood on the Temple Mount, he recognized the demon Asmodeus standing on the same mount yawning and smoking a large extra-King sized cigarette.
Peter Whitstable sometimes wished that he had taken up drinking or sniffing glue.
Then he'd have an excuse for seeing what he sometimes saw.
This was one of those moments.
. . .
Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan was in his bedroom.
He looked up and noticed a black panther approaching him.
Unsure of what to do, Erdogan held out his hand and started purring, "Nice kitty. Nice kitty."
He hoped that the panther wasn't Syrian and wasn't a pro-Bashar Assad sympathizer seeing as how Turkey had just shot down a Syrian military plane.
He hoped that the panther wasn't an avid Twitter user either- one who was pissed at not being able to access his Twitter account in Turkey.
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin told the Commander of Russian Forces who were amassing on the border with Ukraine to wait for his instructions on whether or not to go ahead and invade all Ukraine.
He would leave the speaker phone on in his office and if he were to start shouting "Yes! Yes! Yes!" that would be his order to cross the border and take all of Ukraine and unite it to the Russian Motherland.
As he stood at the window and gazed out at the Moscow landscape with its domed churches and crosses, he wondered if he could spot the Golden Arches of the nearest McDonald's as he suddenly felt a craving for a Big Mac (which mercifully had escaped the list of U.S. and EU sanctions against Moscow).
Suddenly the beautiful and lovely seductress the Babylonian Vampiress Lilith flew in through his office window.
She was wearing the latest spring fashion Cartier white evening dress with gold sequins.
She threw Putin back on to the Russian black bear skin rug in his office, ripped off all his clothes and mounted him.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Putin was soon screaming in a matter of minutes.
The General put his phone down.
He addressed his aide- a handsome young lieutenant with whom he re-enacted ancient Spartan army nighttime maneuvers.
"Well there we have the order," the General said, "we take all of Ukraine."
"That's good," his lieutenant answered, "I've kind of got a hankering for Kiev style homemade perogies at the moment."
"But first you must have a Russian sausage," the General pulled down his pants.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 23rd
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol stood on the Temple Mount.
He was looking for signs of a panther that had been seen on the Temple Mount.
Peter Whitstable believed the panther was Konalu a creature that was created by being astral projected from the mind of Fenrir the Battle of Ragnarok apocalyptic wolf from Norse mythology.
He decided it would be a good thing to get out of the office at Interpol's International Headquarters in Lyon, France because it looked like it would only be a matter of time before his co-workers called the men in the white suits bearing straight jackets and emerging from their paddy wagons.
While in Israel, he had asked to see the man at Mossad they called the Controller of the Golem.
His request for an appointment was turned down.
As he stood on the Temple Mount, he recognized the demon Asmodeus standing on the same mount yawning and smoking a large extra-King sized cigarette.
Peter Whitstable sometimes wished that he had taken up drinking or sniffing glue.
Then he'd have an excuse for seeing what he sometimes saw.
This was one of those moments.
. . .
Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan was in his bedroom.
He looked up and noticed a black panther approaching him.
Unsure of what to do, Erdogan held out his hand and started purring, "Nice kitty. Nice kitty."
He hoped that the panther wasn't Syrian and wasn't a pro-Bashar Assad sympathizer seeing as how Turkey had just shot down a Syrian military plane.
He hoped that the panther wasn't an avid Twitter user either- one who was pissed at not being able to access his Twitter account in Turkey.
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin told the Commander of Russian Forces who were amassing on the border with Ukraine to wait for his instructions on whether or not to go ahead and invade all Ukraine.
He would leave the speaker phone on in his office and if he were to start shouting "Yes! Yes! Yes!" that would be his order to cross the border and take all of Ukraine and unite it to the Russian Motherland.
As he stood at the window and gazed out at the Moscow landscape with its domed churches and crosses, he wondered if he could spot the Golden Arches of the nearest McDonald's as he suddenly felt a craving for a Big Mac (which mercifully had escaped the list of U.S. and EU sanctions against Moscow).
Suddenly the beautiful and lovely seductress the Babylonian Vampiress Lilith flew in through his office window.
She was wearing the latest spring fashion Cartier white evening dress with gold sequins.
She threw Putin back on to the Russian black bear skin rug in his office, ripped off all his clothes and mounted him.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Putin was soon screaming in a matter of minutes.
The General put his phone down.
He addressed his aide- a handsome young lieutenant with whom he re-enacted ancient Spartan army nighttime maneuvers.
"Well there we have the order," the General said, "we take all of Ukraine."
"That's good," his lieutenant answered, "I've kind of got a hankering for Kiev style homemade perogies at the moment."
"But first you must have a Russian sausage," the General pulled down his pants.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 23rd
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Haiku About Hegelian Synthesis of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union
Haiku About Hegelian Synthesis of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union
Hitler + Stalin
Hegel's dialectics equals
Vladimir Putin
Hitler + Stalin
Hegel's dialectics equals
Vladimir Putin
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Haiku About Russia's Annexation of Crimea
Haiku About Russia's Annexation of Crimea
Josef Stalin smiles
Lenin's corpse wakes in new form
Putin makes his move
Josef Stalin smiles
Lenin's corpse wakes in new form
Putin makes his move
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
The Rabbi's Dream
The Rabbi's Dream
Rabbi Jacob lay in bed in his Jerusalem apartment.
He had had an interesting conversation with a member of his synagogue congregation that day.
Rabbi Jacob did not know that the man was the mysterious and elusive Mossad figure that was known only as the Controller of the Golem.
For there were very few people in Israel that knew the identity of the Controller of the Golem.
But now Rabbi Jacob slept.
And he dreamed.
. . .
In the dream, Rabbi Jacob saw the huge plane on the ground.
Armed men were forcing the crew and the passengers off the plane.
Men were talking.
Rabbi Jacob did not understand their tongue.
But it was as if God gave him the power to understand their language...
"It was able to escape radar detection everywhere," a man smiled, "a few blips here and there on a few radar screens but not much."
"Well," said the man dressed in a General's uniform, "work on it. Where this plane is now going with Allah's chosen martyrs on board, we must have absolute zero radar detection."
"And seeing as how this plane belongs to a nation made up of fellow believers in Allah and his Prophet, " said the man dressed in a lab coat befitting a scientist (which he was), "the world will blame the Great Satan and the little Satan for this action."
"And especially the target we're going to hit and destroy using this plane," the General smiled, "the world will really blame the Great Satan and the little Satan for it."
. . .
Rabbi Jacob gathered that what he saw in the dream happened several days past.
Now his dream shifted to the future to a few days hence...
The huge Boeing 777-200 ER flew straight towards the world's most famous golden dome... the Dome of the Rock... on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. . .
Rabbi Jacob caught the name on the side of the plane before it hit the Dome...
... Malaysia...
The force of the plane's hitting totally obliterated the Dome.
It also brought down the walls of the nearby al-Aqsa mosque as well killing believers at prayer.
The Dome of the Rock and the al-Aqsa Mosque were no more...
And a certain group of Jewish believers took hold of the Temple Mount after the destruction and demanded that with the Dome and the Mosque now gone...
... that Solomon's Temple be re-built...
... such an action would lead the entire Muslim world to war against Israel...
... which is what the General on the ground in Rabbi Jacob's dream had in mind all along...
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 19th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Rabbi Jacob lay in bed in his Jerusalem apartment.
He had had an interesting conversation with a member of his synagogue congregation that day.
Rabbi Jacob did not know that the man was the mysterious and elusive Mossad figure that was known only as the Controller of the Golem.
For there were very few people in Israel that knew the identity of the Controller of the Golem.
But now Rabbi Jacob slept.
And he dreamed.
. . .
In the dream, Rabbi Jacob saw the huge plane on the ground.
Armed men were forcing the crew and the passengers off the plane.
Men were talking.
Rabbi Jacob did not understand their tongue.
But it was as if God gave him the power to understand their language...
"It was able to escape radar detection everywhere," a man smiled, "a few blips here and there on a few radar screens but not much."
"Well," said the man dressed in a General's uniform, "work on it. Where this plane is now going with Allah's chosen martyrs on board, we must have absolute zero radar detection."
"And seeing as how this plane belongs to a nation made up of fellow believers in Allah and his Prophet, " said the man dressed in a lab coat befitting a scientist (which he was), "the world will blame the Great Satan and the little Satan for this action."
"And especially the target we're going to hit and destroy using this plane," the General smiled, "the world will really blame the Great Satan and the little Satan for it."
. . .
Rabbi Jacob gathered that what he saw in the dream happened several days past.
Now his dream shifted to the future to a few days hence...
The huge Boeing 777-200 ER flew straight towards the world's most famous golden dome... the Dome of the Rock... on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. . .
Rabbi Jacob caught the name on the side of the plane before it hit the Dome...
... Malaysia...
The force of the plane's hitting totally obliterated the Dome.
It also brought down the walls of the nearby al-Aqsa mosque as well killing believers at prayer.
The Dome of the Rock and the al-Aqsa Mosque were no more...
And a certain group of Jewish believers took hold of the Temple Mount after the destruction and demanded that with the Dome and the Mosque now gone...
... that Solomon's Temple be re-built...
... such an action would lead the entire Muslim world to war against Israel...
... which is what the General on the ground in Rabbi Jacob's dream had in mind all along...
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 19th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Qonzilqointec Melts The Ice
Qonzilqointec Melts The Ice
The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec had been called by her good friend Arizona Sen. John McCain asking for help in de-thawing the U.S. government's most pre-eminent hired assassin Pan Goatee.
The astral projecting genetically created half-man half- goat satyr and professional serial killer turned U.S. government agent had been frozen in a terrible Washington D.C. snow storm several weeks ago.
Despite all their best efforts while burning the midnight oil (especially burning the midnight oil) the top research scientists at DARPA could not de-thaw the creature.
In desperation, one of the directors of DARPA phoned John McCain for help.
In turn, McCain turned to his friend Princess Qonzilqointec.
McCain figured that a hot looking young looking 600- odd year old Aztec Vampiress (like most women over 30, she wouldn't reveal her true age) who looked the spitting image of the hot and sultry actress Salma Hayek might be sizzlingly hot enough to de-thaw Pan Goatee.
So McCain phoned Qonzilqointec.
He had to wait half an hour while Her Vampiric Highness chewed out Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro on the other line.
She told Maduro that he was a despot and a tyrant who oppressed his people and that he had neither the charisma nor compassion of his predecessor Hugo Chavez.
She told Maduro that he didn't have the testicles Chavez did and she included in that the state of testicles of Chavez's currently decomposing body.
After Maduro hung up the phone to have a much needed bowel movement, Qonzilqointec took Sen. McCain's call.
When McCain explained to Qonzilqointec the situation, she immediately boarded her luxury jet and flew up to Washington D.C.
She arrived at DARPA Headquarters wearing a see-through Versace evening dress.
She only paid €25,000 for this dress.
She had to laugh at her rival for world domination- the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis who stupidly paid €50,000 for her Versace evening dress and then ruined it by flying around Paris on a smog-filled evening and flying directly into the Eiffel Tower.
As Qonzilqointec walked by the guards outside DARPA headquarters while wearing her see-through Versace evening dress, she caused them to have huge bulging erections in their pants.
The sole exception was the guard who was gay.
Although the gay guard happened to have a crush on Justin Bieber and at that moment he was mentally conjuring in his mind those haunting yet so arousing TV images he saw of Justin Bieber in handcuffs.
So he too had a bulging erection in his trousers.
They got Qonzilqointec into the DARPA research lab where the Aztec Vampiress promptly mounted Pan Goatee's giant ice cube and went to work.
"I'll never be able to look at an ice cube in the same way again," a DARPA administrator commented after watching the scene with riveted attention for several minutes.
"My wife's going to notice that I'll be spending even more time around the refrigerator than usual," another DARPA administrator remarked.
"It's alive," a female DARPA scientist gasped.
"Oh yes, yes, yes!" Qonzilqointec screamed.
"I'm glad I use Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo on my body hair," were Pan Goatee's first words as he came back to life.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 18th
2014
Sent from my iPhone
The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec had been called by her good friend Arizona Sen. John McCain asking for help in de-thawing the U.S. government's most pre-eminent hired assassin Pan Goatee.
The astral projecting genetically created half-man half- goat satyr and professional serial killer turned U.S. government agent had been frozen in a terrible Washington D.C. snow storm several weeks ago.
Despite all their best efforts while burning the midnight oil (especially burning the midnight oil) the top research scientists at DARPA could not de-thaw the creature.
In desperation, one of the directors of DARPA phoned John McCain for help.
In turn, McCain turned to his friend Princess Qonzilqointec.
McCain figured that a hot looking young looking 600- odd year old Aztec Vampiress (like most women over 30, she wouldn't reveal her true age) who looked the spitting image of the hot and sultry actress Salma Hayek might be sizzlingly hot enough to de-thaw Pan Goatee.
So McCain phoned Qonzilqointec.
He had to wait half an hour while Her Vampiric Highness chewed out Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro on the other line.
She told Maduro that he was a despot and a tyrant who oppressed his people and that he had neither the charisma nor compassion of his predecessor Hugo Chavez.
She told Maduro that he didn't have the testicles Chavez did and she included in that the state of testicles of Chavez's currently decomposing body.
After Maduro hung up the phone to have a much needed bowel movement, Qonzilqointec took Sen. McCain's call.
When McCain explained to Qonzilqointec the situation, she immediately boarded her luxury jet and flew up to Washington D.C.
She arrived at DARPA Headquarters wearing a see-through Versace evening dress.
She only paid €25,000 for this dress.
She had to laugh at her rival for world domination- the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis who stupidly paid €50,000 for her Versace evening dress and then ruined it by flying around Paris on a smog-filled evening and flying directly into the Eiffel Tower.
As Qonzilqointec walked by the guards outside DARPA headquarters while wearing her see-through Versace evening dress, she caused them to have huge bulging erections in their pants.
The sole exception was the guard who was gay.
Although the gay guard happened to have a crush on Justin Bieber and at that moment he was mentally conjuring in his mind those haunting yet so arousing TV images he saw of Justin Bieber in handcuffs.
So he too had a bulging erection in his trousers.
They got Qonzilqointec into the DARPA research lab where the Aztec Vampiress promptly mounted Pan Goatee's giant ice cube and went to work.
"I'll never be able to look at an ice cube in the same way again," a DARPA administrator commented after watching the scene with riveted attention for several minutes.
"My wife's going to notice that I'll be spending even more time around the refrigerator than usual," another DARPA administrator remarked.
"It's alive," a female DARPA scientist gasped.
"Oh yes, yes, yes!" Qonzilqointec screamed.
"I'm glad I use Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo on my body hair," were Pan Goatee's first words as he came back to life.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 18th
2014
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, March 17, 2014
Magog Rhys Petley On Saint Patrick's Day
Magog Rhys Petley On Saint Patrick's Day
Magog Rhys Petley
A Welsh werewolf he be
and British Labour MP
swept across the Irish Sea
landing on Irish shore
receiving kisses galore
from a pretty young Colleen
that was on the scene.
This revived him to life
after severe weather's strife
so he took it on life's chin
and headed off to Dublin
a fine old girl of a town
where pint o' Guinness erases frown.
He spent many a fine and carefree day there
complimenting the ladies on their hair
He happened to meet Ukraine's former PM
and thinking of Solomon's concubine gem
He mistook Yulia Tymoshenko for a hooker
who walloped him with full force of a James Joyce booker
and so wearing Ulysses for a crown
sporting a black eye all around
he headed off to another town
where this time Murphy's erased his frown.
He wandered across Ireland far and wide
said Hello to Galway's tide
kissed the Blarney Stone and a young bride
as he ran to escape the angry groom
he tripped over a witch's broom
in a strange place full of gloom
not far from Blarney Castle
so found this Welsh rascal
a place where the Druids did sacrifice
and we're talking humans not mice.
Their best laid plans may go astray
in this wood where night swallows day
Magog saw with his very eyes
and heard the anguished cries
of a victim tied to a stone
the colour red was not jam on scone
The Druidish priest lowered his knife
and took away the Church clergyman's life.
May Saint Patrick's Faith be gone from this land
Restore our ancient religion so grand
the Druid priest spoke as the earth did quake
Magog looked down- at his foot a snake.
-A vampire novel chapter
written in the form of a poem
written by Christopher
Monday March 17th
2014
Sent from my iPhone
Magog Rhys Petley
A Welsh werewolf he be
and British Labour MP
swept across the Irish Sea
landing on Irish shore
receiving kisses galore
from a pretty young Colleen
that was on the scene.
This revived him to life
after severe weather's strife
so he took it on life's chin
and headed off to Dublin
a fine old girl of a town
where pint o' Guinness erases frown.
He spent many a fine and carefree day there
complimenting the ladies on their hair
He happened to meet Ukraine's former PM
and thinking of Solomon's concubine gem
He mistook Yulia Tymoshenko for a hooker
who walloped him with full force of a James Joyce booker
and so wearing Ulysses for a crown
sporting a black eye all around
he headed off to another town
where this time Murphy's erased his frown.
He wandered across Ireland far and wide
said Hello to Galway's tide
kissed the Blarney Stone and a young bride
as he ran to escape the angry groom
he tripped over a witch's broom
in a strange place full of gloom
not far from Blarney Castle
so found this Welsh rascal
a place where the Druids did sacrifice
and we're talking humans not mice.
Their best laid plans may go astray
in this wood where night swallows day
Magog saw with his very eyes
and heard the anguished cries
of a victim tied to a stone
the colour red was not jam on scone
The Druidish priest lowered his knife
and took away the Church clergyman's life.
May Saint Patrick's Faith be gone from this land
Restore our ancient religion so grand
the Druid priest spoke as the earth did quake
Magog looked down- at his foot a snake.
-A vampire novel chapter
written in the form of a poem
written by Christopher
Monday March 17th
2014
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Renfield Seeks A Knighthood
Renfield Seeks A Knighthood
Amadeus Emanon and Athelstan the butler were having a tough time around the colossal London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set these days.
For Renfield R. Renfield had become an insufferable braggard.
Well even more of an insufferable braggard than usual.
He had returned from Paris almost a month ago after being hailed as a national hero by the French for cutting off the ear of the most unpopular judge on the Parisienne Idol talent show.
Now it was said by many that Renfield was the genetically created shapeshifting hamster/human that Simon Cowell was most afraid of.
In addition to that, Renfield had recently started watching the American television show The Blacklist.
Now he was busy boasting to Amadeus and Athelstan that the show's character of Raymond "Red" Reddington was most likely modeled on him Renfield R. Renfield.
"Notice that even our initials are the same- R. R. R.," Renfield bragged.
And of course Renfield had never let anyone forget the fact that he had been nominated for the French Legion of Honour Medal for cutting off the Parisienne Idol judge's ear.
Even the Vampire Set had been spending most of his time either outside the mansion giving advice to the Bank of England or safely locked away in his sarcophagus in the mansion's Egyptology Room as part of his effort to escape Renfield's nauseating bragging.
"Even the Paris atmosphere likes me," Renfield boasted after downing several kegs of Newcastle Brown Ale which he had mistaken for barrels of naturally pure London rainwater," "when I was in Paris, the air was clear. Now the City is enveloped in smog with me gone."
The ghastly Paris smog had caused the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis to be rushed to hospital after she flew into the Eiffel Tower while she was out flying because she couldn't see where she was going due to the heavy smog.
While being admitted to the hospital emergency room, she did a lot of complaining not because of her injuries but because she had ruined her €50,000 Versace evening dress.
Now Renfield R. Renfield's next goal in life was to receive a knighthood from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
"Do you suppose Her Majesty the Queen will ever give me a knighthood?" Renfield had asked Athelstan causing the butler to spill tea and crumpets all over himself when Renfield asked the question.
After reading a blog entry written by his boss Set's mortal enemy (as opposed to Set's immortal enemy the Vampiress Isis) the Canadian vampire hunter Christopher Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield got an idea.
Being the excellent hacker he was, he started hacking into various communications systems all over the Asia-Pacific and Indian Ocean regions.
Finally Renfield noticed a very intriguing pattern as he analyzed various satellite and tracking maps.
"Malaysia used to be a British colony didn't it, Athelstan?" Renfield asked the encyclopedically knowledgeable butler and valet.
"Yes, sir," Athelstan answered as he carefully carried the tray of tea and crumpets down the hallway.
"Do you suppose the Queen would give me a knighthood if I was the one who found the location of the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370?" Renfield asked.
A loud crash could be heard coming from the hallway.
"I was so looking forward to that plate of tea and crumpets," Amadeus sighed from the next room.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 16th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Amadeus Emanon and Athelstan the butler were having a tough time around the colossal London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set these days.
For Renfield R. Renfield had become an insufferable braggard.
Well even more of an insufferable braggard than usual.
He had returned from Paris almost a month ago after being hailed as a national hero by the French for cutting off the ear of the most unpopular judge on the Parisienne Idol talent show.
Now it was said by many that Renfield was the genetically created shapeshifting hamster/human that Simon Cowell was most afraid of.
In addition to that, Renfield had recently started watching the American television show The Blacklist.
Now he was busy boasting to Amadeus and Athelstan that the show's character of Raymond "Red" Reddington was most likely modeled on him Renfield R. Renfield.
"Notice that even our initials are the same- R. R. R.," Renfield bragged.
And of course Renfield had never let anyone forget the fact that he had been nominated for the French Legion of Honour Medal for cutting off the Parisienne Idol judge's ear.
Even the Vampire Set had been spending most of his time either outside the mansion giving advice to the Bank of England or safely locked away in his sarcophagus in the mansion's Egyptology Room as part of his effort to escape Renfield's nauseating bragging.
"Even the Paris atmosphere likes me," Renfield boasted after downing several kegs of Newcastle Brown Ale which he had mistaken for barrels of naturally pure London rainwater," "when I was in Paris, the air was clear. Now the City is enveloped in smog with me gone."
The ghastly Paris smog had caused the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis to be rushed to hospital after she flew into the Eiffel Tower while she was out flying because she couldn't see where she was going due to the heavy smog.
While being admitted to the hospital emergency room, she did a lot of complaining not because of her injuries but because she had ruined her €50,000 Versace evening dress.
Now Renfield R. Renfield's next goal in life was to receive a knighthood from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
"Do you suppose Her Majesty the Queen will ever give me a knighthood?" Renfield had asked Athelstan causing the butler to spill tea and crumpets all over himself when Renfield asked the question.
After reading a blog entry written by his boss Set's mortal enemy (as opposed to Set's immortal enemy the Vampiress Isis) the Canadian vampire hunter Christopher Dracul Van Helsing, Renfield got an idea.
Being the excellent hacker he was, he started hacking into various communications systems all over the Asia-Pacific and Indian Ocean regions.
Finally Renfield noticed a very intriguing pattern as he analyzed various satellite and tracking maps.
"Malaysia used to be a British colony didn't it, Athelstan?" Renfield asked the encyclopedically knowledgeable butler and valet.
"Yes, sir," Athelstan answered as he carefully carried the tray of tea and crumpets down the hallway.
"Do you suppose the Queen would give me a knighthood if I was the one who found the location of the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370?" Renfield asked.
A loud crash could be heard coming from the hallway.
"I was so looking forward to that plate of tea and crumpets," Amadeus sighed from the next room.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 16th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Allah's Daughters and The Satanic Verses
Allah's Daughters and The Satanic Verses
The Iranian Imam who was a leading figure in the government in Tehran was having a dream.
He was having a dream that Allah's three daughters Al-Uzza, Al-Lat and Manat (mentioned in the Satanic Verses before they were removed from the Quran) were seducing him and having carnal relations with him.
As they did so, they whispered in his ear, "The time to destroy the Zionist entity known as Israel is now."
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin was having a dream.
In the dream, he was being seduced by the beautiful ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith.
The Vampiress whispered in his ear.
Vladimir answered, "I obey, Mistress."
. . .
The Controller of the Golem was sitting in his Mossad office in Jerusalem.
He was reading a confidential document sent to him by Peter Whitstable the man known as the Fox Mulder of Interpol.
Whitstable investigated all things occult and supernatural.
The Controller of the Golem had a hard time believing what he read in this particular Whitstable X-File.
. . .
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 13th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
The Iranian Imam who was a leading figure in the government in Tehran was having a dream.
He was having a dream that Allah's three daughters Al-Uzza, Al-Lat and Manat (mentioned in the Satanic Verses before they were removed from the Quran) were seducing him and having carnal relations with him.
As they did so, they whispered in his ear, "The time to destroy the Zionist entity known as Israel is now."
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin was having a dream.
In the dream, he was being seduced by the beautiful ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith.
The Vampiress whispered in his ear.
Vladimir answered, "I obey, Mistress."
. . .
The Controller of the Golem was sitting in his Mossad office in Jerusalem.
He was reading a confidential document sent to him by Peter Whitstable the man known as the Fox Mulder of Interpol.
Whitstable investigated all things occult and supernatural.
The Controller of the Golem had a hard time believing what he read in this particular Whitstable X-File.
. . .
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 13th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
The Controller of The Golem
The Controller of The Golem
The most shadowy and yet possibly the most powerful figure in the Israeli Mossad Organization was a man known only as the Controller of the Golem.
His name and true identity was top secret.
CIA agent Bob Belfor had been sent by his superiors in Washington D.C. to talk to the Controller of the Golem about a shipment of weapons that the Israeli Navy seized in the Red Sea off Sudan last week.
A Panamanian flagged vessel the Klos-C had been boarded by the Israeli Navy who claimed to have found on board dozens of Syrian made M-302 rockets that were being shipped by the Islamic Republic of Iran to Hamas militants in the Gaza Strip.
The rockets that were found were said to have a range of 150 to 200 kilometers.
Apparently America's Neville Chamberlainesque President Barack Obama was having a hard time believing that Iran could possibly do anything wrong.
So Belfor had been sent by Washington to see for himself the shipment.
The Belfor report would then be given to President Obama to digest (no doubt leading to massive indigestion on his part).
After Belfor had been shown the shipment, he then went to talk to the Controller of the Golem.
They had a discussion about the Iranian leadership.
"Of course," the Controller of the Golem went on, "we found out how tolerant and peace-loving the theocratic thug rulers of Iran really were when on February 14th 1989 the Supreme Leader of Iran the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini issued a fatwa or death sentence on Indian born British subject and writer Salman Rushdie for his book The Satanic Verses."
"I've never really read the book," said Belfor, "because as a CIA agent, I don't have time to read. I'm too busy playing on-line games like World of Warcraft on the off-chance some terrorist cells are conversing with one another via the game. You'll never guess what level I reached in the game last week..."
The Controller of the Golem was starting to think that the old 1960s Mel Brooks television series Get Smart was the most accurate screen depiction ever made about the American "intelligence" community.
. . .
Sonia Sedgewick was one of MI-6's top agents.
She had been sent by 10 Downing Street in London to Israel to see for herself the shipment of Syrian made rockets that the Israelis claimed had been sent by Iran intended for Hamas in the Gaza Strip.
The Controller of The Golem enjoyed talking to this intelligent and very beautiful woman who was smartly dressed in a gray skirt and white blouse.
She had heard of Salman Rushdie although she too had never read his book The Satanic Verses.
"I must confess in terms of books for personal reading I've never really read anything past 1900," she laughed, "I'm strictly a Will Shakespeare and Jane Austen girl."
The Controller of the Golem could have kissed her but he felt it might have been construed as unprofessional conduct.
"These satanic verses that Rushdie wrote about for which he was condemned to die by the Ayatollah Khomeini," Sonia asked him, "weren't these purported to be actual verses in the Quran that the Prophet Mohammed claimed the Devil caused him to put in the first written copy of the Quran and he later took these verses out in later copies of the Quran?".
"That's right," the Controller of the Golem answered.
"What did these verses actually say?" Sonia asked, "what exactly were the satanic verses?".
"That Allah had three daughters," the Controller of the Golem replied.
"That Allah had three daughters?" Sonia Sedgewick was incredulous, "but don't Muslims condemn Christians for suggesting that God had a son?".
"That's right," the Controller of the Golem nodded.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 11th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
The most shadowy and yet possibly the most powerful figure in the Israeli Mossad Organization was a man known only as the Controller of the Golem.
His name and true identity was top secret.
CIA agent Bob Belfor had been sent by his superiors in Washington D.C. to talk to the Controller of the Golem about a shipment of weapons that the Israeli Navy seized in the Red Sea off Sudan last week.
A Panamanian flagged vessel the Klos-C had been boarded by the Israeli Navy who claimed to have found on board dozens of Syrian made M-302 rockets that were being shipped by the Islamic Republic of Iran to Hamas militants in the Gaza Strip.
The rockets that were found were said to have a range of 150 to 200 kilometers.
Apparently America's Neville Chamberlainesque President Barack Obama was having a hard time believing that Iran could possibly do anything wrong.
So Belfor had been sent by Washington to see for himself the shipment.
The Belfor report would then be given to President Obama to digest (no doubt leading to massive indigestion on his part).
After Belfor had been shown the shipment, he then went to talk to the Controller of the Golem.
They had a discussion about the Iranian leadership.
"Of course," the Controller of the Golem went on, "we found out how tolerant and peace-loving the theocratic thug rulers of Iran really were when on February 14th 1989 the Supreme Leader of Iran the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini issued a fatwa or death sentence on Indian born British subject and writer Salman Rushdie for his book The Satanic Verses."
"I've never really read the book," said Belfor, "because as a CIA agent, I don't have time to read. I'm too busy playing on-line games like World of Warcraft on the off-chance some terrorist cells are conversing with one another via the game. You'll never guess what level I reached in the game last week..."
The Controller of the Golem was starting to think that the old 1960s Mel Brooks television series Get Smart was the most accurate screen depiction ever made about the American "intelligence" community.
. . .
Sonia Sedgewick was one of MI-6's top agents.
She had been sent by 10 Downing Street in London to Israel to see for herself the shipment of Syrian made rockets that the Israelis claimed had been sent by Iran intended for Hamas in the Gaza Strip.
The Controller of The Golem enjoyed talking to this intelligent and very beautiful woman who was smartly dressed in a gray skirt and white blouse.
She had heard of Salman Rushdie although she too had never read his book The Satanic Verses.
"I must confess in terms of books for personal reading I've never really read anything past 1900," she laughed, "I'm strictly a Will Shakespeare and Jane Austen girl."
The Controller of the Golem could have kissed her but he felt it might have been construed as unprofessional conduct.
"These satanic verses that Rushdie wrote about for which he was condemned to die by the Ayatollah Khomeini," Sonia asked him, "weren't these purported to be actual verses in the Quran that the Prophet Mohammed claimed the Devil caused him to put in the first written copy of the Quran and he later took these verses out in later copies of the Quran?".
"That's right," the Controller of the Golem answered.
"What did these verses actually say?" Sonia asked, "what exactly were the satanic verses?".
"That Allah had three daughters," the Controller of the Golem replied.
"That Allah had three daughters?" Sonia Sedgewick was incredulous, "but don't Muslims condemn Christians for suggesting that God had a son?".
"That's right," the Controller of the Golem nodded.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 11th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, March 7, 2014
Cardinal JM and The Heart of Atum-Ra
Cardinal JM and The Heart of Atum-Ra
Cardinal JM although a member of the College of Cardinals and the Vatican Curia was a worshipper of the ancient pagan gods.
Last night one of the two ancient deities that he devotedly worshipped Zeus ( the other deity was Apollo) appeared to him at his bedside and told him, "My most devoted servant I want you to consecrate Italy to the sacred heart of my good friend Atum-Ra tomorrow at noon."
So Cardinal JM got up the next morning and awakened his secretary Father Oliver Thomas Wardenclyffe.
Although Father Wardenclyffe was already awake. He was busy sodomizing a young man he kept in his Vatican office that he called Hyacinth.
When Father Wardenclyffe heard Cardinal JM's instructions, they went to Cardinal JM's personal private chapel together.
Inside Cardinal JM's private chapel there was ne'er a Cross nor Crucifix to be found.
So demons and most vampires and American megachurch Pastor Rick Warren would have felt right at home there.
Father Wardenclyffe put on top of the altar an ancient Egyptian statue of the god Atum-Ra.
Cardinal JM then went up to the altar and spoke in Latin (since his ancient Egyptian was a little rusty although much better than that of Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith) the words of consecration consecrating Italy to the sacred heart of Atum-Ra.
Father Wardenclyffe then put on top of the altar a globe of the world below the statue of Atum-Ra.
He had pencilled in a huge X on top of the Italian peninsula.
Then he had pencilled in a huge arrow on the Adriatic Sea pointing to the left and had pencilled above it the words X Marks The Spot so as to be sure that the god Atum-Ra wouldn't miss it.
Some 666 seconds after the words of consecration were spoken, a huge giant beating heart appeared above the altar- the Heart of Atum-Ra.
Above the dome of Saint Peter's Basilica the cry of a cock crowing twice could be heard.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 7th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Cardinal JM although a member of the College of Cardinals and the Vatican Curia was a worshipper of the ancient pagan gods.
Last night one of the two ancient deities that he devotedly worshipped Zeus ( the other deity was Apollo) appeared to him at his bedside and told him, "My most devoted servant I want you to consecrate Italy to the sacred heart of my good friend Atum-Ra tomorrow at noon."
So Cardinal JM got up the next morning and awakened his secretary Father Oliver Thomas Wardenclyffe.
Although Father Wardenclyffe was already awake. He was busy sodomizing a young man he kept in his Vatican office that he called Hyacinth.
When Father Wardenclyffe heard Cardinal JM's instructions, they went to Cardinal JM's personal private chapel together.
Inside Cardinal JM's private chapel there was ne'er a Cross nor Crucifix to be found.
So demons and most vampires and American megachurch Pastor Rick Warren would have felt right at home there.
Father Wardenclyffe put on top of the altar an ancient Egyptian statue of the god Atum-Ra.
Cardinal JM then went up to the altar and spoke in Latin (since his ancient Egyptian was a little rusty although much better than that of Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith) the words of consecration consecrating Italy to the sacred heart of Atum-Ra.
Father Wardenclyffe then put on top of the altar a globe of the world below the statue of Atum-Ra.
He had pencilled in a huge X on top of the Italian peninsula.
Then he had pencilled in a huge arrow on the Adriatic Sea pointing to the left and had pencilled above it the words X Marks The Spot so as to be sure that the god Atum-Ra wouldn't miss it.
Some 666 seconds after the words of consecration were spoken, a huge giant beating heart appeared above the altar- the Heart of Atum-Ra.
Above the dome of Saint Peter's Basilica the cry of a cock crowing twice could be heard.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 7th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Haiku About Hitler's Ghost In March 2014
Haiku About Hitler's Ghost In March 2014
Hitler on Putin:
Russian who learned from German
I did it my way!
Hitler on Putin:
Russian who learned from German
I did it my way!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Fenrir In Ukraine
Fenrir In Ukraine
As Ukrainian military service men gazed out their bases in Crimea that were surrounded by Russian troops that the Vladimir Putin regime in Russia described as "private pro- Russian forces", they happened to notice a strange sight.
Every so often a wolf would appear at some point outside the barracks.
Then he'd disappear.
Seconds later the same wolf would appear at another side of the barracks.
The wolf was the Norse wolf Fenrir preparing for the Battle of Ragnarok.
. . .
Israeli soldiers patrolling the Temple Mount in Jerusalem noticed a peculiar phenomenon.
Every so often a panther would appear.
Then as the soldier raised his rifle, the panther would disappear.
And then would appear again on another sector of the Temple Mount seconds later.
The panther was Konalu.
Konalu was a powerful being that was created and astral projected by the Norse wolf Fenrir's powerful psyche.
. . .
The talks in Paris between Russia and the West over the situation in Ukraine made little progress.
As U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry and Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov grimaced at one another, a huge giant eye with wings flew above them.
The winged eye was the Eye of Horus.
Outside the building where talks were taking place a group of youths were listening on an iPod to that old Billy Idol song from the 1980s,
"Got no human grace
your eyes without a face..."
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 5th
2014
Sent from my iPhone
As Ukrainian military service men gazed out their bases in Crimea that were surrounded by Russian troops that the Vladimir Putin regime in Russia described as "private pro- Russian forces", they happened to notice a strange sight.
Every so often a wolf would appear at some point outside the barracks.
Then he'd disappear.
Seconds later the same wolf would appear at another side of the barracks.
The wolf was the Norse wolf Fenrir preparing for the Battle of Ragnarok.
. . .
Israeli soldiers patrolling the Temple Mount in Jerusalem noticed a peculiar phenomenon.
Every so often a panther would appear.
Then as the soldier raised his rifle, the panther would disappear.
And then would appear again on another sector of the Temple Mount seconds later.
The panther was Konalu.
Konalu was a powerful being that was created and astral projected by the Norse wolf Fenrir's powerful psyche.
. . .
The talks in Paris between Russia and the West over the situation in Ukraine made little progress.
As U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry and Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov grimaced at one another, a huge giant eye with wings flew above them.
The winged eye was the Eye of Horus.
Outside the building where talks were taking place a group of youths were listening on an iPod to that old Billy Idol song from the 1980s,
"Got no human grace
your eyes without a face..."
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 5th
2014
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Haiku About Phantom of The Opera
Haiku About Phantom of The Opera
When chandelier falls
a killer has struck again
Opera phantom
When chandelier falls
a killer has struck again
Opera phantom
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Magog Rhys Petley On Saint David's Day
Magog Rhys Petley On Saint David's Day
Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley woke up on a beach in Ireland.
He wasn't quite sure how he got there.
The last thing he remembered was being swept down a stream in Wales during a ferocious rain and windstorm.
He must have swept across the Irish Sea somehow and landed here where a beautiful red- headed Irish girl was giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
He must admit he was enjoying it.
When she had finished, he looked at his waterproof watch which was still ticking and which had the calendar date on it.
Good Lord, the atheistic Marxist thought rather ironically, it was Saint David's Day already.
Saint David's Day.
March 1st.
Saint David.
The Patron Saint of Wales.
A lot of his constituents would be pissed that he didn't show for his constituency's Saint David's Day celebration this year.
He wondered if it would cost him his seat at the next election.
How ironic that he a staunch atheistic Marxist-Leninist (one of the few still left in the British Labour Party) might be defeated at the next election because he failed to attend a celebration honouring Wales' most important Christian Saint.
. . .
Where the Hell was Magog Rhys Petley? British Prime Minister David Cameron wondered.
Whenever his government needed to send someone on a covert delicate diplomatic mission, they sent Magog Rhys Petley because, since he was a backbench MP from the Opposition backbenches, if he failed, the government could wash its hands of the matter saying Magog was operating on his own private initiative.
On the other hand if he succeeded then British Prime Minister David Cameron could take credit as the genius statesman who rose above partisanship and sent someone from another party to undertake a delicate diplomatic mission because he Cameron recognized the man's ability.
Of course Magog so far hadn't shown any ability.
The delicate diplomatic missions the British government had sent Magog on to Syria and Egypt the past few years had all been unprecedented colossal disasters.
Now Cameron was anxious to send Magog to Moscow to tell Russian President Vladimir Putin not to invade Ukraine.
And Magog had been missing for over two weeks now.
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin had called the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB to his office.
For the past 10 years ever since the Orange Revolution in Kiev Ukraine in the late autumn of 2004 when Viktor Yanukovych was toppled as President of Ukraine for the first time, the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva had been involved in a long running battle with Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak of the Ukrainian Intelligence Service to see who would control Ukraine- Ukrainian nationalists or pro-Russian elements?
"Miss Kireeva," President Putin looked directly at the Russian Vampiress, "I want you to do everything in your power to kill Inna Huculak once and for all."
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
on Saint David's Day
Saturday March 1st
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley woke up on a beach in Ireland.
He wasn't quite sure how he got there.
The last thing he remembered was being swept down a stream in Wales during a ferocious rain and windstorm.
He must have swept across the Irish Sea somehow and landed here where a beautiful red- headed Irish girl was giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
He must admit he was enjoying it.
When she had finished, he looked at his waterproof watch which was still ticking and which had the calendar date on it.
Good Lord, the atheistic Marxist thought rather ironically, it was Saint David's Day already.
Saint David's Day.
March 1st.
Saint David.
The Patron Saint of Wales.
A lot of his constituents would be pissed that he didn't show for his constituency's Saint David's Day celebration this year.
He wondered if it would cost him his seat at the next election.
How ironic that he a staunch atheistic Marxist-Leninist (one of the few still left in the British Labour Party) might be defeated at the next election because he failed to attend a celebration honouring Wales' most important Christian Saint.
. . .
Where the Hell was Magog Rhys Petley? British Prime Minister David Cameron wondered.
Whenever his government needed to send someone on a covert delicate diplomatic mission, they sent Magog Rhys Petley because, since he was a backbench MP from the Opposition backbenches, if he failed, the government could wash its hands of the matter saying Magog was operating on his own private initiative.
On the other hand if he succeeded then British Prime Minister David Cameron could take credit as the genius statesman who rose above partisanship and sent someone from another party to undertake a delicate diplomatic mission because he Cameron recognized the man's ability.
Of course Magog so far hadn't shown any ability.
The delicate diplomatic missions the British government had sent Magog on to Syria and Egypt the past few years had all been unprecedented colossal disasters.
Now Cameron was anxious to send Magog to Moscow to tell Russian President Vladimir Putin not to invade Ukraine.
And Magog had been missing for over two weeks now.
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin had called the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB to his office.
For the past 10 years ever since the Orange Revolution in Kiev Ukraine in the late autumn of 2004 when Viktor Yanukovych was toppled as President of Ukraine for the first time, the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva had been involved in a long running battle with Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak of the Ukrainian Intelligence Service to see who would control Ukraine- Ukrainian nationalists or pro-Russian elements?
"Miss Kireeva," President Putin looked directly at the Russian Vampiress, "I want you to do everything in your power to kill Inna Huculak once and for all."
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
on Saint David's Day
Saturday March 1st
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
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