Approaching Summer's End
It seems another summer has come and gone
won't be long until an autumn dawn
the weather was wild where I lived
violent storms with their havoc to give
trees and buildings hit the ground
winds blew with furious sound
and when no storm
it wasn't warm
but cold and dry
farmers sigh
no bumper crop this year
adding to economic fear
A summer I'd like to forget
but I realize
it's still not over yet.
-written by Dracul Van Helsing
on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Trailer Park Attack
Peter Whitstable of Interpol looked at the scene.
The entire trailer park had been destroyed.
Normally an attack on a trailer park in the U.S. midwest wouldn't have brought in an Interpol agent let alone Peter Whitstable (whose Fox Mulder-like specialty at Interpol was investigating cases of the Paranormal and Supernatural).
But this attack had been different.
For eyewitnesses said that the trailer park had been destroyed by a walking skeleton of a T-Rex.
"Do you suppose maybe the people in this trailer park supported health care reform?" a deputy sheriff asked, "and this Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton was an outraged far-right Republican?".
"Maybe," Whitstable nodded.
He looked in the direction of a pretty young woman in her mid-20s. She was wearing a yellow mini dress and was kneeling at the site of one of the destroyed trailers. She had placed a bouquet of flowers on the Welcome mat in front of what had been the entrance door of one of the trailers.
"You knew the people who lived in this trailer?" Whitstable asked the woman as he walked over to her.
"I knew Matt," the girl wept, "he was a musician. Both a composer and a songwriter. He was a great budding young talent and now he's gone. He had just completed the finishing touches on a rock opera he had written."
"I'm sorry," Whitstable said. He fell silent not knowing what else to say. Then he spoke, "What was the subject of the rock opera he had written?".
"It was a new take on the legend of Doctor Faustus," the girl answered.
Meanwhile in the office of the CEO of one of America's largest arms manufacturers, the CEO was reflecting on his meeting a few days before with that mysterious enigmatic individual that was just known to him as the Doctor.
Who he thought was the Doctor? And what was he a doctor of?
In the background, the CEO's CD player played Franz Liszt's Mephisto Waltz No. 1.
To be continued.
The entire trailer park had been destroyed.
Normally an attack on a trailer park in the U.S. midwest wouldn't have brought in an Interpol agent let alone Peter Whitstable (whose Fox Mulder-like specialty at Interpol was investigating cases of the Paranormal and Supernatural).
But this attack had been different.
For eyewitnesses said that the trailer park had been destroyed by a walking skeleton of a T-Rex.
"Do you suppose maybe the people in this trailer park supported health care reform?" a deputy sheriff asked, "and this Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton was an outraged far-right Republican?".
"Maybe," Whitstable nodded.
He looked in the direction of a pretty young woman in her mid-20s. She was wearing a yellow mini dress and was kneeling at the site of one of the destroyed trailers. She had placed a bouquet of flowers on the Welcome mat in front of what had been the entrance door of one of the trailers.
"You knew the people who lived in this trailer?" Whitstable asked the woman as he walked over to her.
"I knew Matt," the girl wept, "he was a musician. Both a composer and a songwriter. He was a great budding young talent and now he's gone. He had just completed the finishing touches on a rock opera he had written."
"I'm sorry," Whitstable said. He fell silent not knowing what else to say. Then he spoke, "What was the subject of the rock opera he had written?".
"It was a new take on the legend of Doctor Faustus," the girl answered.
Meanwhile in the office of the CEO of one of America's largest arms manufacturers, the CEO was reflecting on his meeting a few days before with that mysterious enigmatic individual that was just known to him as the Doctor.
Who he thought was the Doctor? And what was he a doctor of?
In the background, the CEO's CD player played Franz Liszt's Mephisto Waltz No. 1.
To be continued.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Doctor Is In
He was the CEO of a large U.S. arms manufacturer- one of the Pentagon's largest suppliers.
As such, he expected people to wait on him- and to wait for him.
He was to be approached as if he were a god- which he was- as far as the U.S. government was concerned.
But with the Doctor, it was different.
He had to beg to visit the Doctor's office.
The Doctor supplied his company with the most dazzling innovations- innovations that seemed to be right out of Buck Rogers in The 25th Century.
Occasionally the Doctor's assistant would call- to let him know that the Doctor would be supplying him with another one of his inventions.
And the CEO would rush to the Doctor's office like a young high school graduate paying a visit to his first bordello.
On other occasions, the CEO would hear rumours about one of the Doctor's inventions. Inventions it seemed that the Doctor was not willing to share yet with the world.
And the CEO would go- non-existent hat in hand (since CEOs never wore hats anymore) down to the Doctor's office and beg on his hands and knees (like a client in the presence of a leather skirted dominatrix) to see the Doctor.
Today the Doctor would see him even though he didn't have an appointment (oh, if only the health care system were this easy!).
"Yes?" the Doctor sat in the darkened corner of an already dark room smoking a pipe.
"Doctor," the CEO began, "umm... we've heard rumours that you have invented a new type of laser beam which has the ability to shrink things in size and then restore them to their original size later."
"Really?" the Doctor blew smoke rings with his pipe, "and do you believe these rumours?".
"Well, if they're true, Doctor," the CEO answered, "we'd wish you'd sell this new technology to us. The U.S. Air Force's drone attack planes we could shrink in size, go into difficult spots of Afghanistan and Pakistan, bomb the Hell out of the Taliban, return to base and then go back to the original size."
"Bomb the Hell out of the Taliban," the Doctor nodded and smoked thoughtfully on his pipe, "you know Dante had the Prophet Mohammed confined to the fires of Hell in his work The Inferno which I suppose explains why you don't hear too many public readings of Dante these days."
"I have an M.B.A. from Harvard, Doctor, so I know nothing whatsoever about the Classics," the CEO sounded exasperated, "do you have this technology or not?".
"Your appointment is now over," the Doctor gazed through a small telescope through a small crack in the office curtain at the time on the sundial in the garden outside his office.
"Oh, bugger all," the CEO swore.
"I believe there's a gay health spa and sauna room over on the next block should you wish to resort to that," the Doctor answered.
The CEO left harrumphing.
The Doctor went over to a chest of drawers and opened the bottom left drawer where a small skeleton of a live spirit possessed T-Rex was growling.
"Now," said the Doctor, "if we were to restore you to your original size this evening, which place should we get you to attack?".
To be continued.
As such, he expected people to wait on him- and to wait for him.
He was to be approached as if he were a god- which he was- as far as the U.S. government was concerned.
But with the Doctor, it was different.
He had to beg to visit the Doctor's office.
The Doctor supplied his company with the most dazzling innovations- innovations that seemed to be right out of Buck Rogers in The 25th Century.
Occasionally the Doctor's assistant would call- to let him know that the Doctor would be supplying him with another one of his inventions.
And the CEO would rush to the Doctor's office like a young high school graduate paying a visit to his first bordello.
On other occasions, the CEO would hear rumours about one of the Doctor's inventions. Inventions it seemed that the Doctor was not willing to share yet with the world.
And the CEO would go- non-existent hat in hand (since CEOs never wore hats anymore) down to the Doctor's office and beg on his hands and knees (like a client in the presence of a leather skirted dominatrix) to see the Doctor.
Today the Doctor would see him even though he didn't have an appointment (oh, if only the health care system were this easy!).
"Yes?" the Doctor sat in the darkened corner of an already dark room smoking a pipe.
"Doctor," the CEO began, "umm... we've heard rumours that you have invented a new type of laser beam which has the ability to shrink things in size and then restore them to their original size later."
"Really?" the Doctor blew smoke rings with his pipe, "and do you believe these rumours?".
"Well, if they're true, Doctor," the CEO answered, "we'd wish you'd sell this new technology to us. The U.S. Air Force's drone attack planes we could shrink in size, go into difficult spots of Afghanistan and Pakistan, bomb the Hell out of the Taliban, return to base and then go back to the original size."
"Bomb the Hell out of the Taliban," the Doctor nodded and smoked thoughtfully on his pipe, "you know Dante had the Prophet Mohammed confined to the fires of Hell in his work The Inferno which I suppose explains why you don't hear too many public readings of Dante these days."
"I have an M.B.A. from Harvard, Doctor, so I know nothing whatsoever about the Classics," the CEO sounded exasperated, "do you have this technology or not?".
"Your appointment is now over," the Doctor gazed through a small telescope through a small crack in the office curtain at the time on the sundial in the garden outside his office.
"Oh, bugger all," the CEO swore.
"I believe there's a gay health spa and sauna room over on the next block should you wish to resort to that," the Doctor answered.
The CEO left harrumphing.
The Doctor went over to a chest of drawers and opened the bottom left drawer where a small skeleton of a live spirit possessed T-Rex was growling.
"Now," said the Doctor, "if we were to restore you to your original size this evening, which place should we get you to attack?".
To be continued.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Ghost Of A T-Rex
South African witch doctor Sterling Makabo was at the world-famous Royal Tyrrell Museum of Paleontology in Drumheller, Alberta, Canada.
He was to demonstrate his powers for a particular client.
He had several clients including North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il. Kim was wanting Sterling to raise an army of zombies for him.
Makabo had demonstrated his powers for Kim by bringing the spirit of Jack the Ripper back from the dead.
He also had a sports promoter for a client.
For this promoter, Makabo had brought back a 19th century boxer called Gordon "The Black" Donnelly from the dead.
Since the 4th of July weekend, this zombie boxer had not lost a single fight.
Of course he wouldn't not being able to feel any mortal pain.
And now the highly talented witch doctor had another client.
A client who wished to remain anonymous for the time being.
And this time the client chose the test.
And just after midnight here at the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Paleontology in Drumheller, the client approached Makabo.
Makabo nodded as the man approached.
"I want the skeleton of this T-Rex brought back to life," the man commanded.
Makabo suddenly felt anxiety within himself but didn't show it.
Summoning back animal spirits was actually more difficult than summoning back human.
Makabo closed his eyes and started chanting.
A few miles southeast of the Royal Tyrrell, those strangle figures on the Red Deer River Badlands hills known as the hoodoos turned into giant beings.
Soon they started pounding the rocks like drums.
And those drums of Hell at Drumheller were able to raise the dead.
Even the ghost of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
And the wraith-spirit possessed skeleton of T-Rex made a t-bone steak out of the museum security guard.
To be continued.
He was to demonstrate his powers for a particular client.
He had several clients including North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il. Kim was wanting Sterling to raise an army of zombies for him.
Makabo had demonstrated his powers for Kim by bringing the spirit of Jack the Ripper back from the dead.
He also had a sports promoter for a client.
For this promoter, Makabo had brought back a 19th century boxer called Gordon "The Black" Donnelly from the dead.
Since the 4th of July weekend, this zombie boxer had not lost a single fight.
Of course he wouldn't not being able to feel any mortal pain.
And now the highly talented witch doctor had another client.
A client who wished to remain anonymous for the time being.
And this time the client chose the test.
And just after midnight here at the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Paleontology in Drumheller, the client approached Makabo.
Makabo nodded as the man approached.
"I want the skeleton of this T-Rex brought back to life," the man commanded.
Makabo suddenly felt anxiety within himself but didn't show it.
Summoning back animal spirits was actually more difficult than summoning back human.
Makabo closed his eyes and started chanting.
A few miles southeast of the Royal Tyrrell, those strangle figures on the Red Deer River Badlands hills known as the hoodoos turned into giant beings.
Soon they started pounding the rocks like drums.
And those drums of Hell at Drumheller were able to raise the dead.
Even the ghost of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
And the wraith-spirit possessed skeleton of T-Rex made a t-bone steak out of the museum security guard.
To be continued.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Polar Bear's Stroll In The Park
It was LA after dark
Nathan strolled through a park
watching all the dogs bark
these spoiled groomed pooches
covered in their owners' smooches
had never seen a polar bear
so they browned up their underwear.
"Mitsy! how could you?"
shrieked Mrs. Goldbloom
whose face was full of gloom
the newspaper she held
was poor Mitsy's doom.
Yipping and yelping the dogs were dragged home
all hopes gone for a vacation in Rome
no running after cats
by the Colosseum dome
The catacombs would be safe
for cat and comb.
Oblivious to the damage he had done
to spoiled rich canines' fun
Nathan walked on in the moonlight
when he saw someone flying a kite
and suddenly a bat flew down
turning into a man
in a dressing gown.
The man in the gown
was a vamp about town
so was the young woman with the kite
but the man was looking for a bite
for he was a vamp vampire
who swore off Turkish Delight.
He bit the girl on the neck
causing her to shout, "What the heck?..."
as all parkgoers hit the deck
Nathan flew into action
a magnificent spec
he grabbed a lady's parousel
and stabbed the vampire's heart
sending him to Hell.
The vampire's last words were,
"Don't people know it never rains in LA?
This cursed umbrella has brought my decay
forever gone my ability to make hay
life's not fair- that's all I can say."
-Polar Bear's Stroll In The Park
a poem about Nathan De Burgh Polar Bear Private Eye
written by Dracul Van Helsing
Monday, August 3rd, 2009.
Nathan strolled through a park
watching all the dogs bark
these spoiled groomed pooches
covered in their owners' smooches
had never seen a polar bear
so they browned up their underwear.
"Mitsy! how could you?"
shrieked Mrs. Goldbloom
whose face was full of gloom
the newspaper she held
was poor Mitsy's doom.
Yipping and yelping the dogs were dragged home
all hopes gone for a vacation in Rome
no running after cats
by the Colosseum dome
The catacombs would be safe
for cat and comb.
Oblivious to the damage he had done
to spoiled rich canines' fun
Nathan walked on in the moonlight
when he saw someone flying a kite
and suddenly a bat flew down
turning into a man
in a dressing gown.
The man in the gown
was a vamp about town
so was the young woman with the kite
but the man was looking for a bite
for he was a vamp vampire
who swore off Turkish Delight.
He bit the girl on the neck
causing her to shout, "What the heck?..."
as all parkgoers hit the deck
Nathan flew into action
a magnificent spec
he grabbed a lady's parousel
and stabbed the vampire's heart
sending him to Hell.
The vampire's last words were,
"Don't people know it never rains in LA?
This cursed umbrella has brought my decay
forever gone my ability to make hay
life's not fair- that's all I can say."
-Polar Bear's Stroll In The Park
a poem about Nathan De Burgh Polar Bear Private Eye
written by Dracul Van Helsing
Monday, August 3rd, 2009.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Polar Bear Private Eye In Los Angeles
He discovered Coney Island wasn't for him
and after a workout down at the gym
he flew west
with the best
and ended up in LA
no San Fran for him
he wasn't gay.
He saw Hollywood Boulevard
and a shipping yard
visited Universal Studios
and bought a post card.
He visited Beverly Hills
and got the chills
when he saw how
Paris Hilton got her thrills.
Now LA is a wild town
look at old Nathan getting down
with Megan Fox
and all that jazz
look he just beat up a paparazz.
He'll be appearing on Entertainment Tonight
and then on Elvira's couch
following Fright Night.
(or maybe preceding
with his fur receding).
-Another poem about Nathan De Burgh Polar Bear Private Eye
written by Dracul Van Helsing
Sunday, August 2nd, 2009.
and after a workout down at the gym
he flew west
with the best
and ended up in LA
no San Fran for him
he wasn't gay.
He saw Hollywood Boulevard
and a shipping yard
visited Universal Studios
and bought a post card.
He visited Beverly Hills
and got the chills
when he saw how
Paris Hilton got her thrills.
Now LA is a wild town
look at old Nathan getting down
with Megan Fox
and all that jazz
look he just beat up a paparazz.
He'll be appearing on Entertainment Tonight
and then on Elvira's couch
following Fright Night.
(or maybe preceding
with his fur receding).
-Another poem about Nathan De Burgh Polar Bear Private Eye
written by Dracul Van Helsing
Sunday, August 2nd, 2009.
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