Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Magog Rhys Petley On Walpurgis Night

Magog Rhys Petley On Walpurgis Night




Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley awoke in a daze.



He gathered from the conversation around him that he was in some sort of luxurious penthouse apartment.



After a few more moments of listening to the conversation around him, he gathered that this luxurious penthouse apartment he was in must be on Park Avenue in New York City.


Banners flowing from the ceiling said tonightis Walpurgis Night.


Walpurgis Night? Magog thought to himself, wasn't that April 30th?



Wasn't that the date Hitler shot himself?  he wondered.



He suddenly noticed a huge poster on the wall that said, R.I.P. Adolf.


What sort of sicko mourns the passing of Hitler? Magog wondered.



He gathered that the party's host was hiding behind a set of dark black curtains while the guests chatted to the curtains.



How did he get here to this particular Park Avenue penthouse apartment in New York City?   Magog wondered.



The last thing he remembered was being in a Moscow street where he was attacked by a very sexy Russian Vampiress.



He had the feeling that was over a couple of weeks ago and that a lot had happened since.



But Magog couldn't remember what.



"Unfortunately gentlemen," the man behind the curtains intoned, "despite my offer and the high fee I was willing to pay her, the world-famous New Orleans songstress Angelique Dumont refused to be with us this evening to entertain us with her singing voice and her... other assets."




The crowd groaned.



Magog himself was disappointed.



He was a big fan of Miss Angelique Dumont having seen her in several musicals in the theatre district of West London.



In fact Magog often had sexual fantasies about Miss Angelique Dumont.




"Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling couldn't be with us this evening either," the man behind the curtains announced, "as the post card someone recently sent him from New York City was a post card of Harlem which showed a lot of black men walking the streets."



Magog helped himself to a piece of cheddar cheese that the Afro-American butler offered him.



"Gentlemen," the man behind the curtains raised an inflatable balloon in the shape of a giant glass of champagne above the curtains, "I give you the future Fuhrer of the world."


Who the Hell is the future Fuhrer of the world? Magog wondered.


And why the Hell was everyone in the room looking at him for?




To be continued.





-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Wednesday April 30th
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Monday, April 28, 2014

The Tamurlane File

The Tamurlane File



The high-ranking Mossad official who was known only as the Controller of the Golem was reading through his files.



Now that Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan had announced that he was increasing the power of the Turkish Secret Service giving it greater powers of surveillance and extending immunity for its agents, the Controller of the Golem decided to read all the information Mossad had about a certain individual within the Turkish Secret Service who was known only by the code name Tamurlane.



The Controller of the Golem had concerns about this Tamurlane.


He was convinced the man was anti-Semitic and anti-Israel.


Coincidentally just as he was reading through the Tamurlane File, he was handed a new document that had been sent to Mossad by an Israeli agent in the field who was reporting from Pergamon Turkey.


The Mossad agent in Pergamon had apparently uncovered the true identity of Tamurlane.


Excitedly the Controller of the Golem grabbed the newly arrived document and read the name.


Tamurlane was one Imam Mehmet Moustapha the imam of a mosque in Istanbul.


As the Controller of the Golem read details about Imam Mehmet Moustapha, he felt literally quite sick to his stomach.






-To be continued.




-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Monday April 28th
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Cardinal JM and His Sacrifice To Zeus/Jupiter

Cardinal JM and His Sacrifice To Zeus/Jupiter



Cardinal JM had sent a message to His Holiness Pope Francis that he was hopelessly sick and that he could not possibly make it to the canonization ceremonies of Popes John Paul II and John XXIII.



The real reason was that he had a visitation last night from the god he worshipped in private- the Ancient Greek vampire Zeus.



Zeus had told him that a friend of his had tried to do something very important for world affairs.



But that the prayers of one John Paul II within the Communion of Saints had restrained his friend's hand.


And his friend did not like his hand being restrained.



To counteract the effects of John Paul II's prayers, Zeus had asked that a live sacrifice be performed to him Zeus in his form of the ancient Roman god Jupiter at the ruins of the Temple of Jupiter Optimus Maximus behind the Palazzo dei Conservatori  in the Caffarelli Garden on the Capitoline Hill.




So Cardinal JM summoned his secretary Father Oliver Thomas Wardenclyffe (a former Episcopalian priest who was a worshipper of the Ancient Greek god Apollo in his private life) and explained to him the situation.



Father Wardenclyffe went out to where the Polish pilgrims were camping out in Saint Peter's Square waiting for the canonization of their beloved native son Karol Josef Wojtyla aka Pope John Paul II.



He kidnapped the 3-month old infant son of a young Polish couple.



Father Wardenclyffe brought the child to Cardinal JM.



Together they went out to the ruins of the Temple of Jupiter Optimus Maximus on Capitoline Hill where at the exact moment that Pope Francis proclaimed  John Paul II a Saint, they  sacrificed the infant Polish boy to Zeus/Jupiter.




                  .          .         .



At the ruins of the reconstructed Temple of Trajan in Pergamon Turkey, Imam Mehmet Moustapha (who only paid devotion to Allah with his lips but in his heart worshipped the ancient Norse-Germanic gods Odin, Tyr and Thor) sacrificed a pig to Zeus at the exact moment Pope Francis proclaimed John Paul II a Saint.






                 .             .            .





At the Pergamon Altar inside the Pergamon Museum on the Museum Island in the German capital of Berlin, a neo-Nazi and worshipper of Odin, Tyr and Thor cut off the right hand of a young Polish boy that he had kidnapped and laid it at the altar to Zeus.



He did this at the exact moment that Pope Francis proclaimed Pope John Paul II a Saint.




To be continued.




-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Sunday April 27th
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Friday, April 25, 2014

The Black Hand

The Black Hand


It was St. Vitus'  Day June 15th 1389.  The army of Serbian Prince Lazar was battling the Ottoman Turkish Army  of Sultan Murad I to decide the fate of Kosovo and Serbia.  Whether Kosovo and the Serbs would be ruled by Serbs or whether they would be ruled by the Ottomans.



The battle was known to history as the Battle of Kosovo.  It was also called the Battle of Kosovo Field as well as the Battle of Blackbird's  Field.



The bulk of both armies were wiped out in the battle.  Both Prince Lazar and Sultan Murad lost their lives in it.


But the Serbian Army had pretty well suffered the most casualties so that the end result in the following years was that all of the Serbian Principalities would become vassals of the Ottoman Empire.



During the battle after his master was slain, Prince Lazar's right hand man Vuk happened to notice something odd about the right hand of Sultan Murad's right hand man Mehmet after Mehmet had slain Prince Lazar.




Mehmet's right hand was pure white whereas the rest of his body was the darker tanned skin colour of the Ottoman Turks.



Vuk fought Mehmet and slew him.


He then cut off Mehmet's mysterious pure white right hand and left the battlefield.


Far away in a forest, Vuk made camp and lit a fire.


He took Mehmet's pure white right hand, put it on his sword and then held it over the fire to cook.



He was planning to eat it.



Vuk fell asleep while roasting the hand and the hand fell into the fire where it was burned a charcoal black.



Midnight arrived and an owl screeched in the forest.



A raven with blood in its beak flew down by the fire and pecked at the fingers of the charcoal burnt black hand.



The charcoal burnt hand suddenly came to life and crawled away into the forest.




                   .         .          .






It was September 6th 1901.  Certain members of the Serbian Army met to form a new secret society.



The name of the society was Unification or Death.



Its aim was to unite all of the territories of the Balkan Peninsula that had a majority South Slavic population into a single kingdom under the rule of the King of Serbia.



This would of course mean taking control of some territories that were now part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.



The Unification or Death secret society was also known as the Black Hand because its members swore and took their secret oaths by placing their right hands on a severed charcoal burnt hand.






                 .            .           .





It was June 28th 1914 and the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne the Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie the Duchess of Hohenberg were visiting the city of Sarajevo the capital of the Austro-Hungarian province of Bosnia-Herzegovina.


In the crowd waiting for the imperial couple's carriage to pass by on the streets was one Gavrilo  Princip a Bosnian Serb and a member of Young Bosnia the territory's youth wing of the Black Hand secret society.


As the Imperial  Carriage passed by, Gavrilo Princip raised his hand and fired his gun killing the Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie the Duchess of Hohenberg.



That assassination would lead to the July Crisis of 1914 in which the Austro-Hungarian Empire issued an ultimatum to the Kingdom of Serbia and then invaded the country.


Within days of Austro-Hungary's July 28th 1914 invasion of Serbia, other great European powers Germany, Russia, France and then Britain were drawn in.



By August 4th 1914, all of these great European powers were at war with one another.


World War I had begun.


Such was the end result of that fatal moment when the Black Hand's Young Bosnia member Gavrilo Princip had fired those shots at Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie.



At his feet as he fired his gun was a severed charcoal burnt black hand.



The hand crawled away in the crowd amidst the ensuing chaos following the Archduke's assassination.




             .         .          .




It was the evening of March 11th 1938.


At 10 minutes to eight in the evening March 11th 1938, Austrian Chancellor Kurt Schuschnigg took to the radio to address his people on rising tensions with the Nazi government in Berlin.



He concluded his radio address with these words, "God protect Austria."



At 8 PM on March 11th 1938, a charcoal burnt black hand crossed the border from Germany to Austria.


A day later March 12th 1938, German troops would follow and cross the German-Austrian border into Austria.


By March 13th 1938, the Anschluss - the German annexation of Austria would be complete.



On March 15th 1938,  Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler proudly proclaimed "the entry of my homeland into the German Reich" from the balcony of the Hofburg Imperial Palace in Vienna.



A Japanese Zen Buddhist monk who stood amidst the cheering crowds in the street suddenly looked down and saw a severed charcoal burnt hand at his feet.



He also discovered the answer to that centuries old Zen Buddhist riddle, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?".






                   .            .             .





At midnight September 1st 1939 a severed charcoal burnt black hand crossed the border from Germany into Poland.



Later that same day German troops would follow in crossing the border.





                 .           .            .




On August 6th 1945 a severed charcoal burnt black hand crawled along the streets of Hiroshima as an atomic mushroom cloud lit up the skies.





                 .             .              .




On June 25th 1950, a severed charcoal burnt black hand crossed the 38th parallel- it crossed the border from North Korea to South Korea.



North Korean troops followed and invaded South Korea.



The Korean War had begun.




                 .           .          .




It was May 13th 1981.



Saint Peter's Square in Rome.




A Turkish gunman Mehmet Ali Agca fired 4 shots at Pope John Paul II.


In the chaos that ensued, no one noticed a severed charcoal burnt black hand (that had been at the feet of Mehmet Ali Agca) scurrying away in the crowd.





              .          .           .



September 11th 2001.



New York City.




30 seconds past 8:46 AM that morning ofSeptember 11th a severed charcoal black hand was walking the streets and sidewalks of New York City just below the World Trade Center.



But no one noticed.



For all eyes were on the skies as a jumbo jet American Airlines Flight 11 crashed into the North Face of the North Tower of the World Trade Center between Floors 93 and 99.





                 .              .               .






On March 18th 2014 a severed charcoal burnt black hand crossed the border from Russia into Crimea.



At that exact moment, Russian President Vladimir Putin in a speech to the Russian Parliament formally announced the annexation of Crimea by Russia.





                  .              .              .




On the evening of April 24th 2014 (which was Saint Mark's Eve) in Saint Mark's Cemetery in Sarajevo, a severed black hand placed a black rose on the grave of Gavrilo Princip the Black Hand assassin of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand.





              .             .            .



April 25th 2014.



Saint Mark's Day.


10 AM.



A German general was briefing a meeting of deputy Defence ministers of the NATO countries.


The topic was the situation in Ukraine.



The general Wolfgang Vulkan had only one eye.


Every so often Gen. Vulkan would glance in the direction of another German general who would nod for confirmation of what Gen. Vulkan was saying.



Canada's assistant deputy Defence minister, as he glanced at Gen. Vulkan, thought the man resembled drawings he had seen of the Norse god Odin (or as he was called in the old High German tongue Wotan).



He then looked at the fellow German general that Gen. Vulkan kept looking at for confirmation of what he was saying.


He noticed that general's right hand was missing.



He immediately thought of that old Norse god Tyr who had lost his right hand to that demonic Norse wolf Fenrir after Fenrir had bit it off when Tyr had bound the creature.



The assistant Defence minister then recalled some New Age guru in Toronto who had said a few years back that Fenrir's bonds were now lose and Fenrir had broken free and the Battle of Ragnarok (the final Battle of the Norse gods at the end of the world) would happen soon.



For a moment the Canadian Assistant Deputy Defence Minister mused as if all those ancient Norse myths were true,


Whatever did Fenrir do with Tyr's right hand?


And where was that right hand today?




               .           .            .



At 11:59 PM and 36 seconds the evening of April 25th 2014 ( the night of the Feast Day of Saint Mark), a severed charcoal burnt black hand crossed the border from Russia to eastern Ukraine.





To be continued.



-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Friday April 25th
 2014.



Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Radio News Reports and The Park Avenue Billionaire

Radio News Reports and The Park Avenue Billionaire


The mysterious billionaire sat behind the  dark curtains in his Park Avenue New York City  penthouse apartment, drank Jasmine tea with a pinch of Arizona sagebrush and listened to the news on the radio.



"Russia will respond if its interests in Ukraine are attacked says Russia's Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov...




U.S. President Barack Obama says that the U.S. will support Japan in its territorial dispute with China over the Senkaku Islands (called Diaoyu Islands by China)  in the East China Sea under the terms of Article 5 of the U.S.-Japan Treaty of Mutual Co-Operation and Security... the U.S. 's mutual  Defence  pact with Japan...



South Korea has announced that North Korea may conduct a nuclear test during President Obama's upcoming visit to the Korean Peninsula...



In the Palestinian territories, Hamas and Fatah have announced a reconciliation deal and will form a unity government in the upcoming weeks...


In response, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has called off further peace negotiations with the Palestinian Authority...



The first contingent of U.S. troops has entered Poland for joint military exercises with Poland in the midst of tensions with Russia over Ukraine...



In another incident, the Air Forces of the United Kingdom, the Netherlands and Denmark all scrambled their fighter jets after Russian military aircraft were spotted approaching their airspace..."



The Park Avenue billionaire gurgled happily as he sipped his tea...


All was definitely going according to plan.




To be continued.




-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Wednesday April 23rd
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Svetlana Kireeva On Earth Day

Svetlana Kireeva On Earth Day



Spanish vampire Manuel de Rivera y Vargas was walking the streets of Memphis Tennessee.



Manuel was a good vampire.


In fact, he was a close friend of the famous Canadian vampire hunter Christopher Dracul Van Helsing who slew evil vampires.



Manuel a concert pianist by profession had been turned into a vampire against his will by the Egyptian Vampiress Isis in New York City back in 1942 after he had performed a particularly rousing rendition of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata in a Manhattan concert hall.



Although Manuel like all vampires needed human blood to survive, he refused to attack humans to get it.


He bought vials of blood from hospitals and the Red Cross.



The only person he had ever bitten and also turned into a vampire was a young woman who was dying of cancer and had requested it because she wanted to live a few more years.



The woman was Angelique Dumont an aspiring young classically trained singer and actress.



Manuel had found her in a crypt in a New Orleans cemetery which was submerged by floodwaters when Hurricane Katrina had smashed into Louisiana back in the summer of 2005.



Miss Dumont had gone to visit the Dumont Family Crypt to tell her ancestors that she was dying of cancer when the hurricane suddenly hit.



When Manuel found her almost submerged under water in the crypt, she refused to leave.


She said he could either bite her and turn her into a vampire or let her die by drowning than face the awful fate of an agonizing death by cancer.


So Manuel had granted her request.


Miss Dumont was now a successful singer and actress who appeared in musicals in the theatre district of West London in England.


The New Orleans Songstress as she was dubbed by the British press was particularly noted for playing the role of Christine Daae in the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical The Phantom of The Opera.


Like Manuel, Angelique did not attack humans but bought bottles of human blood from hospitals.



As for Manuel, he had watched the woman he loved- a beautiful young Iranian girl and reformer- being murdered by the tyrannical mullah's regime in Tehran in the wake of the street protests that had gripped Iran in 2009-2010 following Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's re-election as President of the Islamic Republic of Iran.



Now Manuel was in Memphis Tennessee taking a personal pilgrimage honouring another great musician he admired- Elvis Presley.



As Manuel stood outside Graceland, he blinked.



And the vampire Manuel although a supernatural creature himself was in shock.



For just like the singer in that song Walking In Memphis, he had just seen the Ghost of Elvis.



What could that possibly mean?




                .         .         .





In another Memphis- Memphis, Egypt- the eerie winged Flying Eye of Horus flew above the ruins of the pillared hall of Rameses II at Memphis.





                    .            .            .






Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II lay in bed.



From a distant room, she could hear the radio playing.



The song being played on the radio was being sung by Johnny Cash.


It was that old song The Devil Went Down To Georgia.



Her Majesty had always loved Johnny Cash's music.


The Devil went down to Georgia.



Her Majesty gazed in the distance to the globe of the world by her bedroom window.


Coincidentally her eye fell on Georgia  on the globe of the world- the spot seemed to be directly in her gaze.



Although it was not the Georgia of America's Deep South


It was the Eastern European country of Georgia.



The country that Vladimir Putin had invaded in August 2008 and had seized the Georgian territories of Abkhazia and South Ossetia.






                .             .             .





Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB stood inside the mausoleum of Lenin's Tomb and gazed at the body of Lenin- founder of Soviet Russia and the Soviet Union- as he lay behind his glass enclosure.



Today was Lenin's 144th birthday.


It was also Earth Day.



The world's very first Earth Day had been April 22nd 1970- which had been Lenin's 100th birthday.



The date had been selected by Communists who had infiltrated the then emerging environmental movement in the U.S.



The KGB and its agents hoped to seize control of the burgeoning environmental movement and use it to bring about the rapid industrial decline of the U.S. and the Western world.


In the meantime, heavy Soviet industry would continue to rape and pillage the sacred earth of Mother Russia in order to bring about the Soviet Workers' Paradise on Earth while they hoped the environmental movement in the West would lead to the rapid industrial and technological decline of the U.S. , Great Britain and  Western Europe.


And so Communist infiltrators in the U.S. environmental movement had deliberately chosen the date of Lenin's 100th birthday- April 22nd 1970- as the world's very first Earth Day.



And none of the non-Communist members of the environmental movement had ever bothered asking why that particular date had been chosen for Earth Day.


As Lenin himself had shrewdly and astutely noted, there would be no shortage of "useful idiots" for the Communist cause in the West.



And so here on this 44th Earth Day, Svetlana Kireeva stood inside Lenin's tomb and made a personal vow to restore the Empire that Lenin and Stalin had built.



This April 22nd 2014.


Lenin's 144th birthday.



144.


12 x 12.


12.


Like the 12 Tribes of Israel.



144,000.


144,000 witnesses in the Book of Revelation.


12,000 from each of the 12 Tribes of Israel.



Israel.


Were Israel and Russia connected somehow? she wondered.


Suddenly to her horror, Lenin's eyes opened on his corpse behind the glass enclosure and Lenin's corpse spoke these words,



"The time is now."




To be continued.




-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Tuesday April 22nd
  2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Monday, April 21, 2014

Syrian Presidential Election Announced

Syrian  Presidential Election Announced



British Prime Minister David Cameron sat wondering what the Hell on earth had happened to the parliamentary envoy he had sent to Russia last week- Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (although Cameron didn't know that the man was a werewolf) who had been sent over to Moscow for secret diplomatic talks with Russian President Vladimir Putin on the Ukraine crisis.



The man Magog had just vanished on the streets of Moscow a week ago and hadn't been seen since.





                      .            .          .







It was announced at a meeting of the Syrian Parliament in Damascus that a Presidential election in Syria would be held on June 3rd of this year.



As the announcement was made, the Syro-Phoenician Vampiress Astarte  sat in Parliament and listened.




She immediately checked the messages on her smart phone and noticed that the U.S. was already condemning the election as a "parody of democracy".




She smiled.




The Russian government had already been saying the same thing for weeks about the planned Ukrainian Presidential election set for May 25th of this year.




She licked her lips and her vampiric fangs delicately and exquisitely.




All was going according to plan.




                  .          .          .



New Orleans Vampiress Angelique Dumont was in her exclusive London apartment.



The Vampiress who was a songstress and an actress now made her career performing live on stage in theatrical productions and musicals in the theatre district of West London.



She held in her hand a message delivered by courier that was from a Park Avenue billionaire in New York City.



The billionaire had offered her $500,000 U. S.  if she would sing for him at a private recital for him and a group of friends in his Park Avenue penthouse apartment next week.



Despite the high fee he was offering, she felt an extreme queasiness and unease at accepting.




To be continued.





-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Monday April 21st
 2014.




Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, April 20, 2014

In A Cave In Geneva

In  A Cave In Geneva


The man who had accepted the mysterious figure's offer on the top of Mount Everest and had then flown around the world in a supersonic jet (owned by a Park Avenue New York City billionaire) after having done so was now standing in a cave in Geneva Switzerland.


He was tied to ropes and was about to descend down a hole to a very deep pit in the bottom of the cave.  




Some said the pit was bottomless and went deep down to the very bowels of the Earth itself.




The man with his arms outstretched proceeded to descend.



"Say, did anyone here know that this particular Easter Sunday is Hitler's 125th birthday?"  Somebody in the man's party asked.



"Quiet you fool," another man spoke in a very commanding and authoritative voice.


The man with the commanding and authoritative voice was dressed in a red robe with a red hood.



He resembled a medieval monk but was wearing an insignia on the front of his robe that no known monastic order of the Middle Ages wore.




The man dressed as a monk then spoke in ancient Hebrew and Ancient Greek and ancient Latin as the man in the ropes hovered over the bottomless pit.


At that moment, a spectral entity rose up out of the bottomless pit and entered the man's body.




To some observers at the top, it looked like the entity resembled the figure depicted by classical Hindu statues of Shiva the Destroyer.


To others, the entity resembled the figure depicted by classical statues of the ancient Greco-Roman god Apollo.



To be continued.




-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Sunday April 20th
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Friday, April 18, 2014

The Friday The World Turned Black

The Friday The World Turned Black



It was Maundy Thursday evening on  Park Avenue in New York City as the mysterious billionaire behind the black curtains of his apartment enjoyed a lone supper of a boar's head and roast pork and lobster and shellfish and sipped champagne from a gold chalice.
He was on a speaker phone in a conference call with 12 of his associates in important national capitals around the world.




                    .        .       .



At the exact same moment as the Park Avenue billionaire broke off a piece of pork with his bare hands and sampled it and sipped from the cup of champagne, a mysterious figure stood on the very top of Mount Everest and spoke to a man who also stood on the top.


"Do you see all these nations of the world from up here?" The mysterious  figure asked the man, "I will give you them all if you worship me."


"I see nothing but a lot of clouds at so great a height," the man replied.


The figure waved his hands and all the nations of the world appeared to the man in a vision.


"See them now?" The figure asked, "I WILL give you them all if you worship me."


"All right," the man replied.



As soon as the man spoke those words, an avalanche occurred on Everest.



The avalanche immediately buried and killed 12 Sherpa guides.






              .              .             .







It was Good Friday afternoon at 3:00 PM local time as the Park Avenue billionaire's supersonic jet flew with great speed above the Andes right over the Chilean-Argentinian border.



On board the jet was the man who had accepted the offer from the mysterious figure atop Everest.



The man was in the plane's washroom urinating and talking to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon on his mobile phone right as the plane flew above the statue of Christ of the Andes.






The statue of Christ of the Andes had been unveiled on March 13th 1904.





109 years later on March 13th 2013, an Argentinian Jorge Mario Bergoglio would be elected Pope and take the name Francis.




                .          .         .




The Park Avenue billionaire was listening to the radio.



Pro-Russian militias were not leaving government buildings in eastern Ukraine- one of the conditions in yesterday's accord in Geneva between the U.S. , the EU and Russia.




Meanwhile Poland's Defence Minister Tomasz Siemoniak announced that U.S. ground forces would soon be deployed in Poland in response to the Ukraine crisis.



The Park Avenue billionaire smiled as he sipped his glass of sherry.




All was going according to plan.




To be continued.




-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Friday April 18th
 2014.





Sent from my iPhone

Monday, April 14, 2014

Blood Red Moon Passover

Blood Red Moon Passover




As the high-ranking American diplomat prepared to enter NATO Headquarters in Brussels Belgium for discussions on the ongoing military escalation of the crisis in Ukraine, he started to wonder why the symbol for NATO also contained the acronym in reverse OTAN.




He suddenly noticed a figure entering NATO Headquarters.



The figure, he thought to himself, closely resembled artistic depictions he had seen of the Norse god Odin.




Or as he was called in the Old High German tongue Wotan.






               .          .          .





Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was howling and barking all over the streets of Moscow having turned into a werewolf with the presence of the full  moon in the night sky.




But as the moon was eclipsed in tonight's lunar eclipse, he turned back into human form.



As he did, he was attacked by a strikingly beautiful long- haired brunette woman wearing a very tight skirted gold mini- dress and black silk fishnet nylons and literally glowing blood red spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.




The woman was Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva an agent of the FSB.



As she bit his neck and drained and sucked a little blood, the Greek vampire Ares (who was worshipped as Mars the god of war by the ancient Romans) walked by.



As the Red Planet Mars rose above the blood red moon in the Moscow night sky, Ares remarked sadly in a loud voice, "I have the feeling that my girl friend Aphrodite is cheating on me and making love to somebody else and it isn't her husband Hephaestus."






"It's Wotan the chief god of the Germanic pantheon she's making love to," Svetlana called out after him as blood dripped down from her fangs.





                .           .             .





The lunar eclipse was not visible in the Jerusalem night sky as the Controller of the Golem walked back home from his synagogue where he had been attending Passover services.



However as he looked at the night sky, he thought he could see a huge serpent like figure rising above the Temple Mount.



It gave a whole new meaning and a rather eerie one at that to that ageless question that's asked at every Passover,  "Why is this night different from all other nights?".





                 .         .          .





The Royal Canadian Navy ship Sir John A. MacDonald was sailing in the North Atlantic.



As the captain peered through his binoculars, he thought he could see a huge passenger ship appearing on the horizon.



That was strange.



He looked at his watch.



It was 11:40 PM April 14th 2014.



There weren't supposed to be any passenger ships in this area at this time.



Stranger still, the passenger ship seemed to be a giant colossal steamship.



The captain thought the age of huge passenger steamships was surely past.



As the ship seemed to edge closer towards his own vessel, he again peered through his binoculars so he could see the name of the ship.





What the - ?



The name said,  R. M. S. Titanic.



The ship that had struck an iceberg at 11:40 PM ship's time the evening of April 14th 1912.



And had finally sunk beneath the waves of the North Atlantic at 2:20
AM the early morning of April 15th 1912.










                .           .           .





The radio was on in the Park Avenue apartment of the New York City billionaire who had recently hired contract assassin and serial killer Pan Goatee.



Although no one was in the room.



The body of the parrot Caesar still lay dead on the floor of his bird cage after he had been shot and killed by the New York City billionaire a few days before.




So far the maid still hadn't dropped by to bury Caesar not to praise it.






"Good evening New York," the voice on the radio said, "or perhaps I should say Good morning since it's now 2:20 AM.  Did you catch tonight's lunar eclipse?  I didn't get a chance to get out of the broadcast booth. And speaking of broadcasts, this is my 102nd broadcast on this station.
And speaking of the number 102, it's been 102 years since the Titanic sank..."



At that moment the huge globe of the world (with the grotesque face painted on it) that sat in front of the huge black curtain behind which the billionaire sat when he received visitors- crashed to the floor and shattered into over 7 billion tiny pieces.




                 .          .         .




To be continued.





-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Monday April 14th
  2014.



Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Renfield and Amadeus Listen To BBC News Report From Jerusalem

Renfield and Amadeus Listen To BBC News Report From Jerusalem



Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon were enjoying some chips and chip dip and watching BBC World News on the television in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set's colossal London mansion.



"This news report just in," the BBC World News anchorman intoned...


"I always enjoy the news more when Naga Munchetty is reading the news," Renfield quipped.


"I've noticed that," Amadeus stated.




"... The attempted machete attack on Mr. Miliband in the Old City of Jerusalem occurred in the midst of the British Labour Party leader's 3-day visit to Israel and the West Bank," said the anchorman.


"Someone tried to attack Ed Miliband?" Amadeus stopped in the middle of dipping his chip.



"The assailant captured on this mobile phone cam closely resembles Kermit the Frog as you can see..." the anchorman went on.



"Indeed, 'tis the very spitting image of Kermit," Renfield said in somewhat theatrical fashion as he continued to enjoy his chips 'n chip dip.



"Israeli police seemed unable to wrestle the machete wielding amphibian assailant to the ground," the anchorman's black hair started turning white as he spoke, "for they seemed to pass right through the body of Kermit as if he were a spirit.
The maniacal frog whose life of "it isn't easy being green" was obviously getting to him ended up being stopped in his tracks when Interpol agent Peter Whitstable threw a vial of water at him..."



"Obviously Kermit feels the same way about water as W. C. Fields did," Renfield sipped from a bottle of brandy.



"Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol later told a BBC reporter that the vial contained Holy Water personally blessed by Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI..."



"Well conservative Catholics who are upset with Pope Francis will be happy to hear that," Renfield licked his lips as he fondly remembered the huge all beef patty cheeseburger he ate yesterday which was a Friday.


"I can't believe Kermit the Frog turned out to be a homicidal maniac," Amadeus wept, "one of my childhood heroes gone."



"Yeah the trouble with childhood heroes," Renfield belched as he started hitting a bottle of bourbon, "is they either die like Shirley Temple and Mickey Rooney or they end up homicidal maniacs like Kermit the Frog and Oscar Pistorius."





To be continued.





-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Saturday April 12th
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Friday, April 11, 2014

Pan Goatee On Park Avenue

Pan Goatee On Park Avenue



The New York City billionaire hid behind a curtain in his Park Avenue apartment as he spoke to Pan Goatee.


Pan figured the man was possibly either quite shy or extremely ugly or maybe both.



As Pan heard a rustling behind the curtains that overlooked a grotesque face painted on a globe of the world that sat on a throne in front of the black curtain, a parrot in a cage on a nearby table squawked, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!  Squawk! Toto, I've got the feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. Squawk!".




A gun emerged from behind the curtain and was fired.



The parrot fell to the copy of The Wall Street Journal on the floor of his bird cage- quite dead.



"You're right," a voice behind the curtain said, "you're not in Kansas anymore."



Pan was starting to feel a kinship with the billionaire behind the curtains after he watched this display.



"I understand," the billionaire looked at a copy of Pan Goatee's resume behind the curtain as he spoke, "that you have the ability to astral project
and that furthermore you have the ability to kill people with your astral body using either an astral machete or an astral semi-automatic."



"That is correct," Pan Goatee beamed from ear to ear on his furry, fuzzy unshaven face.


He was quite proud of his skills and abilities.



"And I understand," the billionaire flipped over to the second page of the genetically created half-man half-goat satyr serial killer's 666-page resume, "that you're able to shape-shift into various human forms and appearances with your astral body?".



"And other life forms as well," Pan Goatee stuck out his chest proudly.



He was currently working on doing a lifelike impersonation of Kermit the Frog with his astral body.




"I want you," the billionaire spoke, "to astral project to the so-called Holy Land and while there to kill multitudes of people.  You're to kill a whole bunch of Palestinians while looking like a Jewish settler and then to kill a whole bunch of Israeli Jews while looking like a fighter of the Fatah al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigade.   Will you do it?".



Pan Goatee had in fact done such a very thing for free last autumn while in the area of Jerusalem's Temple Mount.


He had done it as a practical joke to keep himself amused.



"Sure," Pan Goatee replied, "how much will you pay me?".



"I'll pay you $100,000 per person you kill," the billionaire answered.




"All right," Pan Goatee answered as he looked down at his fingernails and figured they could use a good manicure, "how many people do you want me to kill?".




"As many as possible," the billionaire answered, "whatever amount it takes to start an all-out war between Israel and the Palestinians."



To be continued.





-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Friday April 11th
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Haiku About Yeats' Beast

Haiku About Yeats' Beast


Yeats' foreseen rough beast
slouched towards Berlin then lands
in Moscow's clock hands

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Pan Goatee In The Big Apple

Pan Goatee In The Big Apple


U.S. government hired assassin and serial killer Pan Goatee was back from a few weeks' vacation in the Caribbean.


He had gone there after being de-thawed in a DARPA research lab.



Pan Goatee had been frozen after he had been caught in a terrible Washington DC snow storm back in early February.



He had spent several weeks in a state of frozen animation in a DARPA research lab while DARPA scientists tried to figure out how to de-thaw him.





Finally DARPA brought in the Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec who was able to de-thaw the genetically created half- man half-goat satyr by performing a ritual act of tantric sex with him.




One DARPA research scientist was so impressed by what he saw that he bought the patent for the tantric ritual sex act he saw being performed.




He resigned his position as a research scientist at DARPA and proclaimed himself a tantric sex guru.




He was currently in the process of negotiating a live TV interview with Oprah.



As for Pan Goatee- after being de-thawed, he went down to the Caribbean to get some warm tropical sun and get back a healthy looking sun tan that had faded away while he was in a state of frozen animation.



He spent some time smoking pot with Rastafarians.



He spent the rest of his time making out with the beautiful members of an all-girls' reggae band.



When he returned to his Washington DC penthouse, there were several voice mail messages waiting for him as he didn't bother checking his voice mail while he was soaking up the Caribbean sun, smoking pot and banging the luscious beauties that were the all-girls' reggae band.




On his voice mail, there was a message waiting for him from a New York City billionaire.



The message said that the man had a job for him to do for which he would be paid an exorbitant fee.




Pan Goatee liked the sound of those two words "exorbitant fee" so agreed to fly to NYC to meet the man.



Now here he was in the Big Apple standing on the observation deck of the Empire State Building looking over the city that some long-dead mayor had once called "Little old New York".




The Mossad agent who also stood on the observation deck and was watching Pan Goatee removed his mobile phone from his pocket and called the Controller of the Golem at Mossad headquarters in Jerusalem.



"The target is within range, sir," the agent spoke.



"Unfortunately I'm unable to get the authorization of the cabinet to approve the assassination," the Controller of the Golem sighed.



"That's too bad," the agent said.


"Too bad indeed," the Controller of the Golem hung up the phone and looked outside the window of his office where he thought he could see UFO flying saucers flying over Jerusalem.



As Pan Goatee surveyed the night sky of the Big Apple, he thought he could see UFO flying saucers flying over the bright lights of the city.


A serpent beamed down from the biggest UFO on to the top of one of the gothic spires of the Episcopal Cathedral of Saint John the Divine.


To be continued.




- A vampire novel chapter
  written by Christopher
  Tuesday April 8th
  2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Magog En Route To Russia

Magog En Route To Russia



Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was flying a British Airways flight from London to Moscow.



He was on a secret diplomatic mission for the British government.



He was flying to Moscow to meet Russian President Vladimir Putin and ask him on behalf of the British government to withdraw his troops from the Ukraine-Russia border.



When asked to do this by British Prime Minister David Cameron and British Foreign Secretary William Hague, Rhys Petley asked the two gentlemen, "And what should I offer Putin in return if he does do this?".




"Use your imagination," Hague retorted over his cup of tea.



So Magog Rhys Petley was carrying in his wallet a personally autographed copy of the official Engagement photo of Sir Elton John and his future husband David Furnish  who would be wed next month under the new laws allowing same sex marriage ceremonies in England and Wales which recently took effect.




Magog would give Putin the photo if he withdrew his troops from the Ukraine-Russia border.



Magog figured he owed the British government this favour.



After all the British government had intervened with the Irish government in Dublin and asked them to drop criminal charges and release the backbench British Labour MP when he was arrested during a Dublin police raid that took place in a Dublin brothel in the late evening hours of Saint Patrick's Day.





Magog had gone to the brothel to cure his depression and anxiety attacks after he had witnessed a live Druidic human sacrifice ceremony that had taken place earlier that night near Blarney Castle.



Although the tea-toddling Dublin police sergeant who ordered the raid was immediately fired by his superiors for having the audacity to wreck Saint Patrick's Day celebrations  by doing so, Irish prosecutors decided they better prosecute those arrested in the raid.


A quick call from British Prime Minister David Cameron to Irish Taoiseach Enda Kenny (after Cameron had heard the shocking news of Rhys Petley's arrest in a Dublin bordello) led to the charges against the Welsh MP being discreetly dropped and Magog being discreetly released.



British Labour Party leader Edward Miliband had severely reprimanded his backbench MP when he had returned to his Westminster offices.



"What were you thinking being arrested inside a Dublin bordello?"
Miliband had asked him, "Our London bordellos aren't good enough for you?".



And so now Magog was on his way to Moscow to ask Vladimir Putin to kindly remove his troops from the Ukraine-Russia border.


Magog took a quick sip of brandy.



He sure hoped dear Vladimir liked the photo of Sir Elton John and his fiancé David Furnish.




To be continued.





-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Sunday April 6th
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

On The Ukraine-Russia Border

On The Ukraine- Russia Border



Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak stood on the Ukrainian side of the Ukraine-Russia border and looked at the mass array of Russian troops assembled on the other side of the border.



She was standing hidden among some trees on a wooded area of the border.



On the ground right on the border she happened to notice a broken statue of the Blessed Pope John Paul II who was to be canonized a saint by Pope Francis later this month.


The head and the hands of the statue lay broken and smashed on the ground.


On the Russian side of the border, she noticed an old poster blowing on the ground.


The poster was being blown along the ground by a powerful wind.


She happened to notice the face on the poster.


It was the face of former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev who had presided over the dissolution of the old monolithic totalitarian one-party state that had been the old Soviet Union.



The poster blew far far away to the south never to be seen again.


Inna Huculak heard the sound of a peculiar ignition- the sound of a tank starting up.


Up in the sky in the East over the border was a bright star- a glowing seemingly bright red star.


It was just above the emerging rays of a Russian sunrise soon to rise and spread its rays across the Ukrainian border.


Inna Huculak thought she better seek the sanctuary of her coffin- a coffin filled with the soil of what was for the time being- the soil of her Ukrainian homeland.





To be continued.




-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Wednesday April 2nd
 2014.


Sent from my iPhone