Sunday, February 28, 2016

Michelangelo's Dream of Papal Prayer Video

Michelangelo's Dream of Papal Prayer Video

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was sleeping in his aquarium down at the Set Enterprises Lab.

He was having a dream about the papal prayer video that Pope Francis would be releasing for the month of March (starting this year of 2016, instead of releasing his monthly prayer intercessions via text and press release announcement, Pope Francis announced his prayer intentions for the next month via video).


In the video that he saw in his dream, Michelangelo saw two influential Vatican cardinals Cardinal Walter Kasper and Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi engaged in a deeply ecumenical interfaith inter religious dialogue with the ancient Canaanite deity Moloch as the bronze statue of the god accepted children in a fiery form of human sacrifice.


Michelangelo woke up screeching.


-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Sunday February 28th
 2016.

Friday, February 26, 2016

Turning and Turning In The Widening Gyre

Turning And Turning In The Widening Gyre


Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon were in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set's colossal London mansion watching the BBC World News on television.

Said the announcer, "A woman who was smuggling a half pound of cocaine in her vagina through New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport has been arrested..."


"Wow," said Renfield, "that gives a whole new meaning to the term... crack cocaine."


              .           .         .


The secret service agent was on his smart phone to a police buddy of his in New York.

Said his police buddy on the line, "And before you know it, that little pussy was singing like a canary..."

"Things go better with Coke," a radio commercial played in the background.


New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was positively beaming as he stood behind Donald Trump up on the platform having just given his endorsement.

Thought Christie to himself, "I do hope now that the Donald will return the favour and name me his running mate..."




Meanwhile back in New York, an airport drug sniffing dog was now having the mother of all orgasms.

"Oh God," said his handler, "I'm really going to have to wash my leg thoroughly when I get home. Never have I seen Bruno so excited..."


            .           .          .


Former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev was in his apartment looking at photos of former U.S. President Ronald Reagan and the late Pope John Paul II.


"Those were the days when truly great men walked the earth," Gorbachev mused aloud, "when despite our differences we did try to make this world a better place to live in- for ourselves and the generations that would come after us."


He glanced over at newspaper clippings on the clipping board above his granddaughter's desk showing today's current crop of world leaders.

On his granddaughter's empty chair was a sign that said OUT TO LUNCH.


On the television screen, images of more casualties in Syria despite the purported ceasefire.


And even more mysteriously on the ground crawling over the dead bodies was a sinister looking charcoal burnt Black Hand.




               .             .          .


-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Friday February 26th
 2016.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

The Golden Cobra: A Poem

The Golden Cobra: A Poem

In dark caverns below the Himalayas
lurked the creature
a giant golden cobra who folded around and around the dark cavern floor
and licked its own tail
in Ouroboros fashion
A golden circle
A golden circle of life
A golden circle of death
A golden circle of life and death


The Knights of the Golden Circle worshipped the creature
The Knights of the Golden Circle who created the Confederacy
The Knights of the Golden Circle who shot Lincoln
The Knights of the Golden Circle whose most nefarious leader was one Albert Pike
The Knights of the Golden Circle who continue today


The Golden Cobra had a name... Maitreya
And the Golden Cobra emerged out of its own circle
and emerged upwards.


-A vampire novel chapter and poem
 written by Christopher
 Sunday February 21st
 2016.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

As The World Turns

As The World Turns


"So," Renfield looked at the morning paper, "Pope Francis won't judge homosexuals but he will judge Donald Trump."

"Is the Pope a hairdresser?" Amadeus Emanon asked.


                .            .         .

At that moment Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a dream (or possibly a psychic vision) in his aquarium down at the Set Enterprises Lab.

In the dream, Donald Trump was holding a press conference announcing that he was dumping his third wife Melania and would be marrying-- another man! - an 18-year-old fitness and aerobics instructor named Spartacus Faberge Duvalier.

Dressed in a pink wedding dress with adjoining pink coloured hair toupee, Trump fumed at the media, "How dare the Pope question my Christianity?".


            .               .           .


The demon Asmodeus was sitting in a restaurant in Zurich, Switzerland at a table across from the ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith who was wearing a lovely pink magnolia coloured evening dress.



"I had a strange dream last night," Lilith recalled, "I dreamed I had to wrestle Donald Trump in order to buy this dress."

"That is a strange dream," Asmodeus admitted as he bit into his fried frogs' legs with great relish (and a smattering of mustard).


The sheer joy with which Asmodeus bit into the frogs' legs caused Nimrod the ancient king of Babylon (and builder of the city and Tower of Babel) to wince.

Nimrod himself had been turned into a frog as a result of a magical kiss gone awry.

The little green frog sat there on a small lily pad in a huge bowl of water on the white table cloth eating his own little dish of green algae and fresh escargot.


"So our plans for World War III are proceeding smoothly," Lilith lowered the front top of her dress allowing Nimrod a great visual look of her cleavage causing the little green frog to roar like a tiger taking a shower in a Bavarian alpine village.


"How so?" Asmodeus spit a leaf of lettuce out of his mouth, "I never understood how anyone could be vegetarian."


"Turkey will attack Syria to destroy the YPG Kurdish Army," Lilith explained,  "and this will cause Russia to attack Turkey and eventually seize Istanbul re-naming it Constantinople and restoring the Byzantine Empire with Putin as the new Byzantine Emperor as well as the new Czar of all the Russias."


"But wouldn't Barack Obama do something about that?" Nimrod asked.


 On the television screen in the restaurant, CNN was showing a clip of Obama interviewing Kermit the Frog for the job of Supreme Court Justice to replace the late Antonin Scalia and was quizzing the amphibian superstar celebrity on his knowledge of legal jurisprudence and even more importantly as far as Obama was concerned- where he stood on the issues of abortion and same sex marriage.


"I'm sorry," Nimrod lowered his head in shame and went back to eating his algae and escargot, "that was a stupid question."


             .           .        .


Russian President Vladimir Putin was sitting in his Kremlin office when a beautiful Greek looking vampiress wearing a Phoenician purple evening dress came flying through the window.

Putin had encountered several vampiresses in this manner the past few years.


"I am the Vampiress Theodora," said the beautiful vampiress in the Phoenician purple evening dress, "I am here to help you re-take Istanbul from the Turks, re-name it Constantinople and make it the new capital of the greatest empire the world has ever seen - a combined Byzantine and Imperial Russian Empire with yourself as both Byzantine Emperor and Russian Czar."

Putin inwardly felt that this was indeed his true destiny ever since he had an epiphany on his first visit to Israel as President of Russia in April 2005.


"Theodora," Putin sampled some black olives from a dish in front of him, "that's a Greek name isn't it?".




"Indeed," Theodora flashed him a warm smile through her vampiric incisors, "in my mortal life, I was the Empress Theodora the wife of Justinian I the greatest emperor of the Byzantine Empire."


-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Thursday February 18th
 2016.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Renfield Views U.S. Election Campaign

Renfield Views U.S. Election Campaign

Renfield R. Renfield was examining the results of a public opinion poll on the race for the U.S. Presidency.

"I see you're at 0.0% in the polls," Amadeus was like Samson with a post-Delilah haircut addressing the victim of an over zealous circumcising rabbi- he was fond of pointing out his friend's short comings.


"So I see," Renfield blew out his Bourbon through his nose on to the computer screen.

Athelstan the valet arrived in the nick of time with Sherrielock's Bavarian Magic Mushroom Cleaner Stain Remover to wipe the computer screen.


"Are you disappointed?" Amadeus started filing his fingernails with a nail file- a habit he picked up from watching Dr. Niles Crane a character on the American TV sitcom Frasier.


"Not at all," Renfield replied, "Climb every mountain, follow every stream until you find your dream..."


Renfield was doing his best impersonation of Kevin Philipps Bong the Slightly Silly Party candidate from the famous Monty Python sketch.


Amadeus turned on the TV where they watched Anderson Cooper on CNN via satellite doing his in-depth analysis of the White House race so far.




"Some people have said that this particular Presidential race really can't be parodied," Anderson explained, "because it has become a parody in and unto itself."

Anderson then looked directly into the camera, "But is that really a fair assumption?".


Images from a Marco Rubio campaign ad saying "It's morning again in America" showing the sun rising on the City of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada to images of Hillary Clinton barking and yelping and howling like a dog while campaigning on stage at a rally in Nevada.


This was followed by images of Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio barking, yelping and howling like dogs on their respective campaign trails.

Never had the Pensacola Revival and the Toronto Blessing of North American Charismatic Pentecostal Christianity ever made such a major impact on the American political scene.


"The question of course is what will happen next in this Presidential campaign already unique in American history?" Anderson Cooper asked his viewers .


Images appear of Hillary Rodham Clinton on the campaign trail in South Carolina.

She's on all fours and is standing dog like by a fire hydrant on a street corner in Charleston, South Carolina.


She is barking and howling at the moon.




Donald Trump comes running down the sidewalk on all fours with tongue hanging out and panting and howling at the moon.

Since Hillary is in the way of the fire hydrant, Donald lifts his lower right leg and takes a piss all over her.


Vladimir Putin and his aide are likewise watching this spectacle on the television in the Russian President's Kremlin office.


"Well," his aide pointed out, "your most exalted future Byzantine Emperor and Russian Czarist Majesty, there's probably never been a more opportune moment in history to invade and conquer America than now."


"What you say is true," Putin poured himself some more tea from the samovar on his desk, "but after seeing this, the question is... is this really a land and a people worth conquering?".


-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Wednesday February 17th
 2016.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

The Ghost White Buffalo

The Ghost White Buffalo


It was the winter of 1908
colder than a frost giant's plate
colder than the old timers could ever remember
colder than the young would ever remember when they approached their life's December
It was definitely a once in a lifetime winter
that made a thermometer an icy splinter
And amidst the drifting cold and snow
that made one huddle to a warm fire's glow
there were reports of a ghost white buffalo being seen
that fabled beast that haunted many a Blackfoot warrior's dream
It was an omen people said
in hushed whispers filled with dread
The beast would suddenly appear
then just as quickly disappear
an apparition that glowed on many a cold wintery night
and sent spectators fleeing in fright
Was this furry vision sensible to feeling as well as sight
those few brave souls could not get close enough to touch, try as they might
And so amidst the cold of this icy winter's breath
that gave one chills like the approach of death
could be added the cold chills of these ghostly visions
into the local psyche the ghost white buffalo made incisions




And now on this cold blizzardy night
some rancher's herd was not in sight
"The herd has vanished!" Joe said to his wife
this herd that was the source of his ranch's life
And into the cold snow blind night Joe did stumble
wishing to hear the joyful sound of a cattle's rumble
"Joe don't go!" his wife shouted
but the door slammed and the kettle's steam sprouted


Snow and snow and still more snow
wind and flakes did blow and blow
Joe wondered where to go?
For this night's cold was a deadly foe


Not far from this ranch was a dreadful cliff
on which Death's dark scythe could easily sift
over these cliffs the cattle could easily go
plunging to the snow white depths below

The cliff was called Dead Man's Bluff
but in this card game it was not enough
for the Grim Reaper easily won every hand
and welcomed one to where Charon's boat would land


Later generations would call it Dry Island Buffalo Jump
where white bones of dead buffalo formed a graveyard dump
Here First Nations people had hunted for centuries those great noble beasts of the Plains
and they'd fall over the cliffs like giant drops of brown pouring rains


The noble buffalo had now vanished from the wild Alberta plain
an image kept alive in memory of early settler's brain



Now the only buffalo one heard of hereabouts was the lone White Buffalo of fireplace tales
that made one's heart feel a cold bed of nails


At some point in the blizzard snow filled night Joe stumbled and fell
and looked down over the edge to a snow bound Hell
He himself was on Dead Man's Bluff
it was the edge of the world and all such stuff
that was related in childhood stories
a place where only ghost white buffalo make forays


Joe decided he better head home
from this abyss where ghostly buffalo roam


And so back to his cabin Joe went
this cold frosty night not well spent
Joe's only hope was his herd wandered down the narrow canyon trail and not over the cliff
a fairy tale he told himself as over his cup of tea he did siff


At 7 PM the next day, the blizzard did stop
and on to his horse Joe did hop
 Joined  by his rancher friends, Joe set out in search of his herd
expecting Fate's answer to be one discouraging word
They rode to the edge of Dead Man's Bluff
and looking down, expected to see mangle of bones and blood and stuff
but there at the bottom was Joe's herd alive and intact
it was quite unexpected but nonetheless a fact
The herd had somehow found their way down the narrow canyon trail in this worst winter's worst blizzard
something that could only be accomplished by a wizard
A rancher friend suddenly pointed out on this moon swept wintery night
where the herd alive was to Joe a welcoming sight,
"Look there, Joe! Look who's been leading your herd.  See there, Joe."
Joe looked and he saw the Ghost White Buffalo
An apparition that did gleam and glow
making even whiter the glistening snow
The Ghost White Buffalo then looked up at the cliff
he whose ancestors had fallen over it like snow drift
and then the noble beast did vanish into the dark of night
this cattle herd's savior gone from sight.




The story would be told for years to come
over glasses of egg nog and hot buttered rum
of the Ghost White Buffalo who led a herd of cattle to safety down a narrow canyon trail
and saved them from entering too soon that abode beyond death's dark veil.


-A poem written by Christopher
  during the period
  Thursday February 11th
   to
   Sunday February 14th
   2016


-Inspired by an oil painting
 done by my father George Milner
 entitled The Ghost White Buffalo
 based on a true account of an incident
 testified as having actually happened
 by 17 old time settlers he talked to
 that remembered that dreadfully cold
 winter of 1907-08
 and remembered how a man's cattle herd
 was led to safety by a Ghost White Buffalo

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Quetzalcoatl On Valentine's Day

Quetzalcoatl On Valentine's Day


Quetzalcoatl saw the lovers Mary Lou and Bob.
He decided to intervene being a dark godly snob.
He introduced himself singing, "Hello, Mary Lou. Good-bye heart."
And so Mary Lou did depart
no longer in Bob's hand was her heart.
The dark deity now held it aloft
and down his throat it went followed by cough.
Bob's heart was soon united with her
they were together where the deity's stomach did purr.


-A poem written by Christopher
  Sunday February 14th, 2016.

Haiku Sung By Quetzalcoatl For Grace Just Before Dinner

Haiku Sung By Quetzalcoatl For Grace Just Before Dinner

You gotta have heart
miles and miles and miles of heart
for this we give thanks

Friday, February 12, 2016

Quetzalcoatl: These Hearts Won't Go On and On

Quetzalcoatl: These Hearts Won't Go On And On

The Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl was feeling famished.

He was on his goddaughter the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec's ranch in Mexico having just flown in from Havana, Cuba where he had been eavesdropping on the conversation between Pope Francis and Russian Orthodox Church Moscow Patriarch Kirill at Jose Marti International Airport.


Quetzalcoatl was now in the barn eating a bunch of fresh human hearts to regain his strength.


The ranch hands had captured a tourist bus and brought the tourists to Quetzalcoatl to rip open their chests and eat their hearts.

The tourist bus capture and the vanished passengers could easily be blamed as an abduction on narco-fighter gang members of the Mexican drug cartels (making the drug thugs good for something in Quetzalcoatl's opinion).


"You deserve a break today at McDonald's," Quetzalcoatl sang cheerfully as he ripped out the heart of a Scottish tourist.


There was a sudden tapping as of someone rapping, gently rapping at the barnyard door.

" 'Tis some visitor," Quetzalcoatl muttered, "tapping at the barnyard door- only this and nothing more."


Quetzalcoatl opened the door and standing there was a pair of young men dressed in white shirts with black ties and black dress pants.


"My friend," one of the young men spoke up as he held in his hands a copy of the Book of Mormon, "have you heard about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and read Another Testament of Jesus Christ- the Book of Mormon?".


Quetzalcoatl stood there at the barn door and said nothing.


As the two young Mormon missionaries stood there and noticed fresh blood dripping down the chin of Quetzalcoatl's gargantuan grotesque serpentine bird like face and then noticed all the bodies and ripped out hearts on the barn floor behind him, both young men simultaneously made the Sherlockian deduction that now was probably not the best time to share the good news about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and Another Testament of Jesus Christ- the Book of Mormon.


The Mormon missionaries leapt on to their respective bicycles and vigourously pedaled off the ranch in the direction of Mexico City.


-A vampire novel chapter
  written by Christopher
  Friday February 12th
  2016.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday

It was Ash Wednesday 2016.

And so Tim Horton's Restaurants were already advertising their Roll Up The Rim To Win TV commercials.

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had been told years ago by someone who was involved in advertising, "If you've ever noticed, Tim Horton's always starts their Roll Up The Rim To Win coffee cup campaign in conjunction with Lent.  There's a very good reason for that. Because Tim Horton's had begun to notice that when the Lenten season started, their coffee sales decreased.  Because many people were giving up drinking coffee for Lent.  So Tim Horton's started their Roll Up The Rim To Win campaign. By offering the exciting prospect of winning exorbitant grand prizes by someone rolling up the rim to win on their coffee cup, people started giving up other things besides coffee for Lent."

Since he was told that by the man in advertising back in 2007, Van Helsing paid attention ever since.

Sure enough, Tim Horton's Roll Up The Rim To Win TV Commercials always appeared around Ash Wednesday and then vanished after Easter.

"Greed wins out over Christ every time," the demon Mammon explained to guests in his Park Avenue penthouse apartment in New York City.

Meanwhile Dracul Van Helsing was amused by an email he had just received from the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.


It seems that Qonzilqointec's spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had decided to crash this Friday's meeting between Pope Francis and Moscow Patriarch Kirill (the head of the Russian Orthodox Church) at Jose Marti International Airport in Havana, Cuba.


Meanwhile in London on this Ash Wednesday evening, the New Orleans vampiress and songstress Angelique Dumont wearing a purple evening dress was struggling in the middle of a fierce windstorm as she left the theatre where she had been singing the role of Mary Magdalene in a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar.

It was strange.

Instead of blowing snow, the wind was blowing great quantities of ash all around her.


"Where did all this ash come from?" Angelique asked herself as she wrapped her cape tightly around her.


In his bedroom at the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set's colossal London mansion, Amadeus Emanon was having a dream about the movie director Alfred Hitchcock.

In the dream, Alfred Hitchcock was being interviewed by Barbara Walters.


Barbara Walters: Mr. Hitchcock, why did you always start your weekly TV show with the words "Good evening." ?

Alfred Hitchcock: Well you see, Barbara, when I was a boy, I attended a Jesuit school for boys where my teachers were all Jesuit priests. As a result of that experience, it has always been my dream to someday direct a movie about a Jesuit priest who's elected Pope. This Pope will prepare the world to accept the coming of the Antichrist. When he's first elected Pope, when he goes out on the balcony of Saint Peter's to address the world for the first time, instead of saying something like "Praised be Our Lord Jesus Christ" (the words one might expect from a new Pope), he shall greet the world with a calm and quiet "Good evening" or as they say in Italian, "Buona sera."


-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Wednesday February 10th
  2016

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Renfield For President

Renfield For President


Renfield R. Renfield informed Amadeus Emanon that he intended to run for President of the United States.


Grinning like the cow who had jumped over the moon because Red Bull had given her wings, Renfield smiled, "A large group of American bloggers have been urging me to run so I've decide to accede to their requests."


"But you weren't born in the U.S.," Amadeus pointed out, "you were genetically created in a lab in Britain."


"So not being born in the U.S. is no longer a problem in U.S. Presidential politics," Renfield smiled as he looked at a copy of a phony birth certificate the then U.S. Territory of Hawaii issued to Sun Yat-sen (the future founder and President of the Republic of China) back in the late 19th Century, "the current President may have been born in Kenya. The winner of the Iowa Republican State Caucuses was born in Canada. And as for being genetically created in a lab, 50 years from now, everyone will be genetically created in a lab. I'm just a man ahead of my time."

"Your watch is 5 minutes fast," Amadeus admitted as he pointed it out.


Renfield took off his Rolex and started winding it.


"Which party are you going to run for?  Republican or Democrats?"
Amadeus asked.


"I'm going to run as a write-in candidate on both Republican and Democratic ballots in the various caucuses and primaries," Renfield grinned, "who knows maybe I'll win both Party nominations and I can wind up saving the U.S. taxpayer the cost of holding a Presidential election this November. The election can be cancelled and everyone in both houses of Congress can unanimously elect me President of the United States. The ghost of Josef Stalin will be so proud."


"So what have you been working on?" Amadeus asked with some trepidation as he looked at Renfield's computer screen.


"My TV campaign commercial for President," Renfield smiled as he blew his nose into a handkerchief with Uncle Sam's picture on it.


"Can I see it?" Amadeus asked.

Renfield touched the play button.

The commercial played.


Announcer: Today, America has become the laughing stock of the world...

(various short news clips are shown)

Bill Clinton: I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman...

George W. Bush: There ARE Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq.


Barack Obama: The U.S. is winning the war against ISIL... that everyone else insists on calling ISIS...

(In the background, a video is shown of ISIS fighters wearing black t-shirts that say It's ISIS You Moron! beheading U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry)


Hillary Clinton (as Secretary of State in 2012) : As Goddess Oprah is my witness regarding those emails, I honestly thought Benghazi was the name of a Jewish actor in Hollywood...

Donald Trump: Everyone else running in this campaign is a loser...

(A strong downtown Manhattan wind blows Trump's toupee away and he goes running down the street after it)


Announcer: It's time for a President of whom America can be proud:


(A clip is shown of Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp and Rowan Atkinson asking Renfield R. Renfield for his autograph)

... Renfield R. Renfield...

... he'll be tough when it comes to negotiating with America's enemies...


(A clip is shown of Renfield sitting at a table right across from Vladimir Putin looking at him face-to-face and staring at him eyeball to eyeball)


(Renfield reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out a gun and shoots Putin point blank in the face killing him instantly)


One of Putin's aides (shouting excitedly in Russian): My God, he's shot and killed the President of the Motherland!


Renfield (feeling around in his pockets and shouting to his aides) : Does anyone remember in what pocket I left my f@!?*#%^g cigars?


Renfield R. Renfield will ensure that the world's most dangerous drug traffickers such as Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman will never escape lawful custody EVER again...



The Dragon On The Moon

The Dragon On The Moon

Signs of a dragon on the moon
the clock has ticked long past noon
The midnight hands now signal doom
and stormy mists rise up in gloom

When I saw you in the sky
millions of souls were about to die
the globe of the world spins by and by
and Earth's last groan is but a sigh


The dragon hovered above the dome
breathing invisible fire over the City of Rome
and while Neptune's sea did spit and foam
many sought the safety of the place called home

Is this dragon dream meant to be
on this blue dot floating in cosmic sea
or are they but shadows of possibility
dark things that befall the world needlessly
when Hate replaces Love as the fruit of Life's tree?


-A poem written by Christopher
  Friday February 5th 2016.

The Kraken In Rome

The Kraken In Rome


The Kraken went to Rome
and posed alongside Saint Peter's Dome
Medusa took a pic with her cell phone
The ex-Gorgon and the creature of the Sea
surveyed the city from a hilltop tree
said Kraken, King of the Romans I shall soon be
like Napoleon's son of blessed memory
The Kraken had recently crowned himself Emperor of France
and then tried to get into Medusa's underpants
But the new Empress said I want to wait
until Pope Francis has blessed our desire to mate
Knowing Pope Francis, his answer won't be late
for this is the Year of Mercy- kind is Fate
even though Cerberus barks at the gate
For Francis said, be prepared to be surprised by the Spirit
Destiny is a-knockin' - can't you hear it?


-A poem and vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Thursday February 4th
 2016.

Pan Goatee To The Rescue

Pan Goatee To The Rescue

It was a depressing day.

Not only was it raining in Vancouver but there seemed to be quite a number of ugly physically unattractive women walking the streets today only adding to one's sense of melancholy.


"Oh if only Pan Goatee were real," the depressed writer remarked to himself as his efforts to recover from a nasty bout of the flu seemed to be going down the drain along with the contents of his stomach at seeing such abominations of desolation scarring the visual landscape.


"Pan Goatee to the rescue," his creation the genetically created satyr half-man half-goat serial killer suddenly appeared in person and heroically raising his astral laser beam machete proceeded to cut off the heads of the offending facially aesthetically challenged creatures.

Woody Allen suddenly appeared on the street corner looking the exact same way he did when he had just met Marshall McLuhan in the lobby of the movie theatre in the film Annie Hall.

Woody Allen looked at the camera and said, "Don't you wish this happened in real life?".


-A short story written by Christopher
 Wednesday February 3rd 2016.