Sunday, March 13, 2011

Herr Hans and The Unknown Spells of Solomon

Herr Hans the "spirit of Vatican II" filled priest and theologian (and closet worshipper of the Vampire Osiris and the Vampiress Isis) was in the Vatican Archives' most extremely rare book section.

He was reading the copy of an ancient manuscript written by King Solomon- yes that King Solomon!- of building the Temple in Jerusalem fame.

It was a book written by Solomon on the subject of Demonology- more specifically how to invoke and summon demons.

So that is of course why the Vatican never announced to the world the book's existence.

For the Church faced enough problems in the world without a book teaching people how to invoke and summon demons.

For of course the spells in this book could actually do that. Many books claimed to do it but couldn't.

And Herr Hans was invoking a demon to kill a certain Cardinal.

A Cardinal who wanted to continue the policies of Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI in the Church.

A Cardinal young enough to be considered papal material at a future Conclave.

And such a Pope the Church could not have, Herr Hans reasoned.

* * *

A rare thunderstorm in Rome on a late wintery early March evening.

And a Cardinal lay dead in his bed struck by lightning through an open window.

* * *

Herr Hans smiled.

His mission had been a success.



To be continued.

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