Kim Kardashian Meets The Vampire Set
The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had been laid up in his sarcophagus for the past month with a very severe case of irregularity.
It was a result of eating an entire horse in a fancy London restaurant almost a month ago.
On the table beside his sarcophagus were several Get Well cards sent to him by various people.
A Get Well card from Watson Holmes the man who was the Executive Vice-President of Set Enterprises (the Egyptian vampire's research and development firm).
A Get Well Card and a bouquet of flowers from Miss Miranda Singh who was the secretary and office manager for Watson Holmes.
An I Heard You Were Sick card sent to him by a disgruntled former employee Dr. Cadbury Rocher.
Dr. Rocher had sent along a wooden stake as well along with the note Insert Directly Into Heart.
He also received a Get Well card from a London private eye- a Mr. Randall Hopkins.
Set wondered if it was the same man who stood outside the windows of his room every night after sundown and took photos of him with his iPhone when Set's sarcophagus was open.
The man left just before sunrise (at the same time Set was closing his sarcophagus lid).
Set also received a Get Well card as well as a basket of fruit from his own personal concert pianist Mr. Amadeus Emanon.
From Michelangelo his company's genetically created psychic lobster, he received a gift certificate for a seafood restaurant- good for all items on the menu with the exception of all lobster entrees.
From Renfield R. Renfield his shapeshifting hamster/human Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering, he received... an autographed photo... of Renfield R. Renfield (the same gift Renfield gave to everybody on birthdays, anniversaries and at Christmas).
For his ailment, Set tried every laxative and enema method under the sun.
No laxative seemed to work.
No enema...
... seemed to work...
... until...
... Kim Kardashian visited him this evening...
... with a bottle of champagne...
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 17th
2014.
Sent from my iPhone
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