Wednesday, August 31, 2011

No Room At The Inn Because There Is No Inn In Vermont

Walking across the flooded roads of Vermont was a tall blonde man carrying pieces of wood.

One would think he was gathering fire wood because of the power outages.

But when people stranded by the washed-out roads were suddenly attacked by creatures who were trying to take their blood, the man sprang into action.

Staking vampires left, right and center.

Renfield R. Renfield who had been standing in the middle of a washed out road in very tall rubber boots and thinking he had picked a most inopportune moment to visit Vermont looked on with amusement.

"Well fancy running into you here, Dracul Van Helsing," Renfield laughed.

"Fancy running into you, Renfield R. Renfield," Van Helsing replied. "it's too bad you weren't a vampire because then under international law, I could stake and kill you."

"Yes, a pity for you," Renfield agreed, "but not for me."

"What are you doing in Vermont?" Van Helsing asked.

"Amadeus told me there was a great and beautiful inn in Vermont," Renfield replied, "told me to visit it."

"Really?" Van Helsing smiled.

He had an idea of how the 7-year-old genetic clone's mind worked- for while Amadeus was grown in the Set Laboratories test tube to be born an adult- in many ways Amadeus was still a child in his mind set.

"Was this Inn called The Stratford Inn?" Van Helsing asked.

"Why, yes it was," Renfield nodded, "you know it?".

"And he knew about it from an old 1980s TV show he watched called Newhart?" Van Helsing inquired.

"Yes," Renfied replied, "you know how to get there?".

"Newhart was a fictional TV show- a situation comedy," Van Helsing explained, "there is no Stratford Inn in reality."

"You mean I got drenched and pouring wet for nothing?" Renfield sighed.

"Yes," said Van Helsing as he killed yet another vampire.

"Too bad Amadeus wasn't a vampire," Renfield seethed, "I'd buy a stake off you and use it where it would do the most good when I get back to England."

To be continued.

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