Mr. Bean's Endorsement

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was feeling depressed.

The poll numbers weren't looking so good.

Brown sighed.

Oh, if only that stupid woman hadn't asked him that question about immigrants.

Brown stopped.

He better not say more although he was only thinking inwardly.

What if someone could read his thoughts the same way someone heard what he had said about that stupid woman when he forgot his microphone was still on.

Brown looked into his dark glass of brown ale and thought to himself, "Now I see through a glass darkly..."

"Mr. Prime Minister, I have some good news for you," one of his aides approached him excitedly.

Mr. Brown looked up.

Good news?

What was that?

He hadn't really heard any good news since Tony Blair announced that he was stepping down as Prime Minister and he Gordon Brown would at last be becoming Prime Minister of Great Britain.

"What good news would this be?" Brown asked.

"Mr. Bean is going to officially endorse you and throw his support behind you," his aide beamed from ear to ear.

"Mr. Bean?" Brown stood up.

This was the endorsement he was looking for.

Everyone in Britain loved Mr. Bean.

Everyone in the world loved Mr. Bean.

"Not only Mr. Bean but his teddy bear as well," the aide's smile was as wide as the Grande Canyon.

"I've got Teddy's endorsement as well," tears streamed down Mr. Brown's cheeks.

Gordon Brown went down to his party's main campaign headquarters in London where the endorsement would officially take place.

The press was on hand.

Throngs of cheering people were on hand.

On TV screens, disappointed looking rivals Nick Clegg and David Cameron were waving off reporters' questions about Mr. Bean's impending endorsement of Mr. Brown.

Then crowds started cheering.

Mr. Bean had just arrived.

More cheers.

Mr. Bean's tiny car had just accidently demolished the front end of the Rolls-Royce of the Governor of the Bank of England.

"Uh... Bean," Bean said as he waved to the crowd while getting out of the car.

He then brought out Teddy as the crowd cheered yet again.

After it took Mr. Bean a half hour to lock the driver's side of his little tiny car with all the padlocks and combination locks he had on it, the crowd was going ballistic at this point.

"I want to have your baby," some bursting with orgasm beautiful young teen-aged girl shouted at Mr. Bean.

"Uh... no," Bean grinned rather shyly, "Mom still hasn't explained the facts of life to me yet."

David and Victoria Beckham were walking by the scene.

"Say, what's all the excitement?" David Beckham asked a by-stander.

"Mr. Bean is here," the by-stander shook with excitement then squinted at David and Victoria Beckham, "say you two look awfully familiar for some reason..."

Mr. Bean walked inside the campaign headquarters where Labour party supporters began shouting, "Bean, Bean, Bean..."

Mr. Brown walked up to Mr. Bean and extended his hand, "Mr. Bean..."

"Mr. Brown," Mr. Bean took his hand out of his pocket and extended it before stopping, turning and then addressing the crowd, "Uh.. tea pot."

Indeed Mr. Bean's right hand was stuck in a tea pot.

"Uh... British National Health Service these days," Mr. Bean shook his head, "Can't get it off."

Mr. Bean removed Teddy from his pocket using his left hand.

Mr. Bean held up Teddy to the crowd whereupon the crowd started shouting, "Teddy, Teddy, Teddy..."

Mr. Brown was about to shake Teddy's right hand when he noticed that Teddy's right hand was likewise stuck in a toy tea pot.

"Uh... tempest in a tea pot," Mr. Bean smiled at Mr. Brown.

Indeed. For inside the toy tea pot was the world's tiniest edition of William Shakespeare's play about the magician Prospero.

"Mr. Bean, the endorsement please..." Brown's aide was getting anxious.

Mr. Bean started speaking, "Teddy and I would like to formally endorse... " Suddenly Teddy started whispering in Mr. Bean's ear, "oh. Teddy would like to make the announcement."

Teddy then looked at the crowd but said nothing.

Mr. Bean whispered to Teddy.

Teddy whispered back to Mr. Bean.

Mr. Bean looked at the crowd, "Sorry. The cat's got his tongue."

A gray tabby cat emerged from the crowd and vomited a small red cloth tongue at Mr. Bean's feet.

"Uh... maybe I should do the endorsement should I?" Mr. Bean asked Teddy.

Teddy nodded his head.

Brown smiled in relief.

Mr. Bean said, "Teddy and I would like to formally endorse Gordon..."

"... get your ass off the couch while the maid is trying to vacuum in here," Mrs. Brown shouted at her husband.

The Prime Minister looked around in a daze.

It had all been a dream.

He walked dejectedly to the bathroom, grabbed his favourite rubber ducky, sat down in the bathtub and wept.

To be continued.