Renfield The Interrogator

Inspector Depp of Scotland Yard had called in Renfield R. Renfield to do some interrogation work on behalf of the Yard.

Inspector Depp had been told of Renfield's being hired by the CIA a few years ago to interrogate prisoners down at Guantanamo Bay and how impressive he had been.

Down in the lowest cells of the Yard were various anarchist and Marxist youth that police had arrested after the attack on the car carrying Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall.

"If I break these scumbag," Renfield said between mouthfuls of tuna fish sandwich, "does that mean I'll get invited to Prince William's and Kate Middleton's wedding?".

"We'll see what can be arranged," Inspector Depp smiled.

Inspector Depp opened a door and ushered in Renfield.

In the room were a bunch of snarly looking youth in arm and leg chains.

"9000 pounds a year is way too much for university tuition," a youth muttered.

It was the David Cameron government's tripling of university tuition fees that had ostensibly led this medley of youth to become revolting.

Renfield went over to the youth who had spoken, pulled a gun out from under his coat and shot the youth's head off.

"I don't think a mere kindergarden graduate like yourself would have been able to get into University anyways," Renfield said after he kicked the youth's head under a nearby table.

"Now as for the rest of you," Renfield grinned, "there are two things I want you to know... first, I've never been a signatory to the Geneva Convention on Human Rights..."

Renfield went around the room and kicked each of the youths in the balls.

"And second," Renfield continued to grin, "I'm just getting started..."


* * *

As Renfield got into his second hour of interrogation which consisted of finger snipping with pliers and foot amputations with axes and eyeball gougings with scissors, Renfield looked up and noticed Inspector Depp standing at the window with another man.

The man looked vaguely familiar.

Possibly he was a senior Scotland Yard Commissioner who had been invited to look in on the proceedings.

* * *

Inspector Depp took the man with him down to his office.

He opened the door and invited the man to take a seat.

"Now then, Mr. Assange," Inspector Depp addressed the Wikileaks founder, "you can either agree to answer my questions and fully co-operate with me or you can go down to the other room and answer questions posed to you by Mr. Renfield."

To be continued.