She Sells Seashells By The Seashore

Hyung Grace Kwan looked out the window again.

"It appears Renfield is standing on the shore shivering while Amadeus is calmly rowing the boat ashore," Hyung commented.

"Speaking of stuff like that, you never hear the song Michael Rowed The Boat Ashore much on the radio anymore," Dracul noted.

"Thank you for that observation," Hyung laughed, "the world would be a lot duller place without your ability to bring in trivia from out of left field."

"Well actually my friend Jack Morrow is the expert when it comes to baseball trivia," Dracul took a sip of his Coke.

"Dracul, shut up," she kicked him with her spiked stiletto.

Down on the beach, Renfield was shouting, "That's the last time I'm taking any advice from you, Amadeus."

As the waves crashed mightily on to the beach bringing Amadeus and the boat ever closer to shore, a pretty young brunette woman wearing a black evening dress was walking along the shore. She struggled in her high-heeled shoes and was totally oblivious to the weather around her.

She was carrying a large bucket filled with seashells.

"Seashells for sale," she called in a lilting Italian soprano operatic style voice, "seashells for sale. Buy your seashells and listen to the sound of the ocean. Buy your seashells and listen to the sound of the ocean."

"Say, boss," Amadeus called out to Renfield while he stopped rowing to sip from a jug of milk in his coat pocket, "can you buy one of those seashells for me? You're a lot closer to the shore than I am at the moment. I'd like to get one of those to listen to the sound of the ocean."

As the ocean waves crashed around Renfield with a mighty roar, Renfield shouted angrily, "You idiot, if you want to listen to the sound of the ocean, just listen to what's around you."

Amadeus smiled, "Good point. I better turn down my iPod so I can hear it."

"Seashells, Signor?" the woman stopped in front of Renfield.

"Forgive me for asking but what are you doing out on a breezy, rainy, windswept stormy night like this walking along on the beach in what seems to me near tsunami conditions?" Renfield queried.

"Selling seashells," the woman replied.

"Technically speaking," Amadeus called out from the boat, "while this is a night of raging sea and high waves, it still really wouldn't qualify as a tsunami. A tsunami occurs when..."

"Amadeus, shut up," Renfield barked.

"No seashells, Signor?" the woman smiled.

"No," Renfield shook his head.

"Ask her if she's got any oysters," Amadeus wiped some milk off his chin, "I've got a craving for oysters at the moment."

"Any oysters?" Renfield buried his head in his hands.

"I think I may have some down at the bottom of the bucket here," the woman started throwing seashells down on the wet sand.

At that moment, a mighty wave finally overturned the boat Amadeus was in.

As Amadeus swam to shore, he was quietly sobbing.

"What's up with you?" Renfield asked.

"I know I shouldn't cry over spilled milk," Amadeus blubbered like a whale gaining weight, "but a jug of milk that's free of bovine growth hormone is hard to find these days."


To be continued.