News Fit For A Vampiress?

The dark haired vampiress with amnesia and Dracul Van Helsing were watching the news on television.

News Anchor: And still no clues in the mysterious disappearance of the wax effigy of Jack the Ripper from the Price Atwill Wax Museum in West London which happened over a week ago. You may recall when we first broke that news story a week ago, our reporter on the scene claimed that the disappearance was witnessed by a vampiress with a Louisiana accent and a genetic clone who worked as a personal concert pianist to a millionaire and formerly billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire living in London. Well we're happy to report that our reporter seems to be doing well at the Alcohol Recovery and Drug Rehab Clinic our station's management immediately checked him into...
Meanwhile in other news, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told a cheering crowd of brainwashed supporters that this past weekend's election result was genuine and the opposition should accept the fact he won an astounding 62% of the vote. Ahmadinejad said everyone should abide by the results of this decision which he called a "victory for democracy" and further added that anyone who disagreed with the result should be jailed or shot.
Meanwhile President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe has become the first world leader to congratulate Ahmadinejad on his election victory...

The vampiress with amnesia shut off the TV with the remote control.

"The news is depressing these days," the vampiress tossed back her hair.

"I know," Dracul agreed, "the world isn't the same without David Carradine in it."

"Let's go out," the vampiress suggested.

"But it's still daylight," Dracul pointed out.

"That's okay," the vampiress smiled, "I bought myself a heavy sunscreen."

To be continued.