Tuesday, November 23, 2010

North Korean Attack and The Rumblings of Powers and Principalities

The Trappist monk Brother Jim Gallant and his Saint Bernard dog Samson met Dracul Van Helsing in a Parisienne sidewalk cafe.

Crazy Pierre's was one of the few Parisienne sidewalk cafes that was open as an outdoor sidewalk cafe in Paris in late November.

"So," Brother Jim whimpered slightly as he froze his nuts off in his monk's robes , "Hyung isn't with you in Paris?".

"No," Dracul shook his head, "she flew home to South Korea as soon as she heard today's news that North Korea had attacked South Korea's Yeonpyeong Island killing 2 soldiers, destroying civilian homes and wounding both civilians and soldiers."

"An extremely dangerous situation," Brother Jim remarked as he sipped his hot chocolate.

"Very dangerous," Dracul agreed.



* * *

Kim Jong-un (the designated heir to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il) was holding a meeting with the famous South African witch doctor Sterling Makabo.

"So," Kim Jong-un asked, "My one million man zombie army that you have raised from the dead is now ready?".

"Yes, Your Excellency," Sterling Makabo nodded.

"Good," Kim smiled, "if the glorious People's Democratic Republic of Korea is forced to get into a war with the U.S., Japan and the imposter government that oversees the southern half of my peninsula, I'll have an army that is already dead but still able to fight."

"That is correct," Sterling Makabo smiled as he ate the delicious pork dish that lay in front of him.

"I heard reports that you raised the artist Vincent Van Gogh temporarily from the dead last week," Kim helped himself to a steaming dish of vegetables.

"Yes," Makabo ate a pig's foot, "I got the zombie Vincent to cut off his other ear and then I mailed it to Charles Prince of Wales."

"For what purpose?" Kim asked.

"His Highness never paid me for bringing back his banana tree from the dead," Sterling answered.


* * *


Amadeus Emanon was having dinner with the vampiress songstress Angelique Dumont (who hailed from New Orleans, Louisiana) in a posh London restaurant.

"Nice to see the annoying Renfield isn't with us this evening," Angelique smiled as she smoothed her dress.

"No, he's currently in America teaching seminars to TSA airport security guards on the proper way to pat down and grope airline passengers who are getting ready for the Thanksgiving long weekend," Amadeus replied.

"Renfield is?" Angelique blinked, "And what is he using for teaching aids as he gives these seminars?".

"Every hard-core porno movie that he can find," Amadeus replied.


* * *


It was an exclusive bank in Geneva, Switzerland that kept evening hours for its rich clients.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was there making a withdrawal from his personal safety deposit box.

Behind him he heard a swishing and a rustling of skirts.

He turned and there was the vampiress who was both his sister and his sister-in-law-
Isis.

"So getting out some safety assets I see?" Isis looked at him.

Set decided to say nothing but turned again to the bank clerk.

Isis looked at him with an amused expression and decided to test him, "So I suppose that means you too know what is really happening in Korea?".

Set paused, turn around, and looked at her in shock, "You know what's really going on?".

"What's going on is setting the stage for the return of our brother and my beloved husband, Osiris," Isis smiled at him.

* * *

To be continued.

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