Renfield Back To Normal Self

When Renfield was deported from the U.S. back to Canada and thus was unable to complete his mission of sleeping with both Gen. David Petraeus' biographer Paula Broadwell and Florida socialite Jill Kelley (a good friend of Gen. John Allen), the psychopathic genetically created shapeshifting hamster/human was feeling a little down and depressed.

But by today, he was back to his normal self.

His spirits started to lift last night when he shot dead a blind woman who made the mistake of accidently bumping into him on the street.

Then today he sold a whole bunch of property he didn't own on Vancouver Island to a couple of unsuspecting gullible people for a cool $2 million.

He then shot a porn movie with a group of female exotic dancers in the studio of a Vancouver nightclub.

Now he was back in his hotel room listening to Amadeus play Beethoven's Ninth Symphony on a very good toy piano when his iPhone rang.

"Hello?" Renfield answered.

"Rennie old boy," the caller was the President of Russia and the black belt karate champion whose last name was Putin, "it's your old friend Vladimir here. How would you like to get back at the U.S.A. for deporting you?".

"Oh boy, would I," Renfield had an orgasm of delight right on the spot, "tell me what you've got in mind?".

Amadeus stopped playing Beethoven's Ninth and picked up the hotel phone, "Hello, front desk? I think the sofa in this room requires instant steam cleaning."


To be continued.