Amadeus' Practical Joke

For the past 2 days, Renfield R. Renfield had continuously and nauseatingly guffawed about the fact he had pulled a tremendous practical joke on the day of the 20th Anniversary celebrations of the Fall of the Berlin Wall by bringing Soviet dictator Josef Stalin back from the dead and letting him lose at the 20th Anniversary celebration dinner in Berlin.

Amadeus Emanon was getting positively sick of it.

This morning, Amandeus noticed Renfield was dressed in a British Army uniform and wearing a whole bunch of medals for bravery.

"What's that?" Amadeus asked.

"These are the clothes I'm wearing for walking in today's Armistice Day Veterans Parade in London," Renfield grinned.

"But you've never served in any war in your entire life," Amadeus protested.

"Since when has not doing something ever stopped me from doing something else?" Renfield smiled, "oh by the way, can you do me a favour and phone information and ask them in which part of London the parade route starts?".

Renfield went to brush his teeth while Amadeus picked up the phone.

"I'm calling about the parade," Amadeus said, "which parade? well..."

Amadeus chatted on the phone with the Information operator for a while and then put the phone down while having a huge smile on his face.

"Did you find out what street the parade route is starting so I can be there dressed in all my full glory?" Renfield asked.

"Oh, yes, I did," Amadeus smiled an even wider smile.


* * *



Evening, London, November 11th, 2009.

Renfield R. Renfield, Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont the famous vampiress singer from New Orleans are sitting in a karaoke bar in central London.

Amadeus and Angelique are smiling and laughing and having fun while Renfield sits there looking like he's in a state of shock.

"I'm sure," Angelique spoke to Renfield, "that Amadeus didn't intentionally direct you to the start of that Gay Pride Coming Out Parade. How was Amadeus to know that there was more than one parade going on in London today?".

Renfield snorted but said nothing.

"Anyhow," Angelique smiled and threw back her hair over the back of her evening dress, "it's your turn to go up to the microphone. I've told the m.c. that you're going to sing for everyone that old Beatles song Yesterday."

In zombie-like fashion, Renfield strolled up to the microphone.

He began singing (apparently his own version of the Beatles song Yesterday):

Yesterday,
all the sodomites seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.


Amadeus from his table in the audience broke into the second stanza,

Suddenly,
You're not half the man you used to be...


To be continued.