Renfieldin' U.S.A.

Renfield's gone surfin'
surfin' U.S.A...
-The Vampire Beach Boys, 2009.


The psychopathic shapeshifter Renfield R. Renfield (who could shapeshift from human to hamster and back again) was in New York City this day November 20th, 2009.

His boss the multimillionaire (and formerly billionaire) ancient Egyptian vampire Set was in NYC this evening attending nighttime meetings with big-time bankers hoping to get a billion dollar loan.

Renfield showed up in the hotel suite dressed in the uniform of a New York City policeman.

Amadeus Emanon (another employee of Set) was on the sofa reading a Superman comic book..

"Why are you dressed like a cop?" Amadeus asked, "last week you dressed like a war veteran and now you're dressing like a cop?".

"Yes," Renfield grinned, "I was inspired by a recent news story in the American media. So I decided to dress as a cop and go down to Central Park and taser small children in the park while they played. It was great fun."

"My God," Amadeus looked shocked.

"I wish you wouldn't indulge in medieval nonsense by making references to God," Renfield snarled, "it hurts my posthumanist transhumanist sensibilities."

Then Renfield smiled again.

"I understand we're going to Los Angeles on Monday because the boss is hoping to get money out of a big-time Hollywood producer," the shapeshifter smirked, "so come this Monday, I'll dress up as a City of Los Angeles policeman and go down to the UCLA campus and spray mace in the faces of various members of the student body there."

Renfield whistled to himself the tune Whistle While You Work from the classic Disney film Snow White and The Seven Dwarves as he removed the taser from his belt.

To be continued.