Monday, July 19, 2010

Billionaire Ancient Egyptian Vampire Set Proposes Marriage

Renfield R. Renfield had been planning this for months.

In an effort to make his boss Set a billionaire again, he had been writing love letters to the Vampiress Martini the world-famous vampiress with amnesia and signing those love letters with Set's name.

The Vampiress Martini turned out to be the heiress to the Romanov billions as she had been married back in 1931 to George Count Brasov (a nephew of Czar Nicholas II) and the heir to the Russian Imperial Throne.

Now of course his boss Set was a billionaire again when Set won billions by betting all his fortune on Spain winning the 2010 World Cup FIFA Final in Johannesburg South Africa.

Set had followed the advice of a psychic octopus named Paul in making this bet.

However after consulting with a talented female banker in Malaysia (who just happened to be a fan of the Liverpool Football Club), Renfield made the brilliant deduction that Set would be an even richer vampire if he merged his billions with the billions of the Vampiress Martini.

Therefore he told Set that he should take Martini on a romantic getaway to a Caribbean island and propose to her.

And so there they were on the island of Saint Kitts in the Caribbean- it was a moonlit night with a full moon, the stars were shining in the night sky and the starfish were shining under neon lights that Renfield had put up along the sandy beach.

Set handed Martini a beautiful red rose in (coincidentally enough!) a martini glass.

As she sniffed the rose and Sean Connery on television intoned, "The name's Bond... James Bond" and the voice of Leonardo Dicaprio intoned on the TV set from the adjacent hotel room, "Don't you die on me, Rose..."

Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon entered the room riding bareback on live ostriches and playing on their respective banjos the song Some Enchanted Evening from the late 1940s musical South Pacific.

Set got down on one knee accidently crushing the vuvuzela Renfield had left for him on the floor to play romantic love songs on.

"Martini," he asked, "will you marry me?".

From the next room, the voice of Celine Dion could be heard singing, "My heart will go on..."

In the room upstairs, one of the world's leading heart surgeons who was on vacation just died of cardiac arrest.

To be continued.

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