Vampiress Isis Hears The News of Vampire Set's Marriage Proposal

Cedarman was feeling a little dainty on his feet today as he walked towards the colossal drawing room of the colossal Paris mansion.

And it wasn't because he had watched a movie last night in which the late Truman Capote had made an appearance.

No, he was feeling dainty on his feet because he felt afraid.

The English butler and valet who had left his native land of bulldogs and steak and kidney pie for this land of poodles and puff pastries had to tell his mistress the ancient Egyptian vampiress Isis that her arch-enemy (and brother as well as brother-in-law) Set was getting married.

He wasn't sure how she'd take the news.

As Cedarman entered the room, a spiked stiletto high-heeled shoe flew by his nose.

"I take it you heard the news, Madame," he said as he picked up her heel.

"I have," Isis' face was about blue as her navy blue coloured evening dress.

Cedarman put the stiletto back on the vampiress' right foot.

She proceeded him to trample him under foot.

"You know I read somewhere," Cedarman remarked casually, "that some men get off on this."

"I suppose that would explain your erection then I notice which is currently emerging," Isis pressed her stiletto down hard on his stomach.

"Indeed, Ma'am," Cedarman nodded.

The broadcast of the Larry King Show on the TV set explained how his mistress Isis had heard the news of Set's impending nuptials.

"Now, Mr. Renfield R. Renfield," the bow-tie and suspenders wearing talk show host addressed the bow-tie and suspenders wearing shapeshifting hamster/human, "would you be willing to play again for us the song you were playing on your banjo the night your boss Set proposed to the Romanov billions heiress vampiress Martini?".

"Do you want me to use the ostrich I was riding as well?" Renfield asked.

"Should we use the ostrich?" Larry King looked over in the direction of his floor director.

The floor director nodded.

Larry King addressed the viewing audience, "As Anderson Cooper chases after the ostrich which has apparently left the building following an Elvis impersonator, we'll be right back after this message from KFC..."

To be continued.