Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Bronte's Wuthering Heights of The Mind

Dr. Nathaniel Bronte M.D. and noted psychiatrist had gone to his office today for a rare and unusual session.

An important personage in British politics had called his office seeking his help.

The man believed that he was a werewolf.

Which was interesting because the British press was abuzz with rumours of a werewolf in Wales.

Although after this past weekend's mysterious attack on a British policewoman the tabloid press was now talking about a werewolf in London.

And his new patient just happened to be Welsh.

And his new patient was also in London this past weekend.

His patient told him that whenever he desired something really badly he turned into a werewolf and it didn't matter whether it was night time or if there was a full moon present.

"Well Lon Chaney Jr. would certainly be disappointed in your behaviour then," Dr. Bronte had remarked.

His patient told him that particularly carnal desire turned him into a werewolf.

Carnal desire eh? Dr. Bronte thought to himself.

Well he had a cure for that.

It was the most radical form of shock aversion therapy imaginable but Dr. Bronte decided to give it a shot.

By chance, he happened to have some home movies of then British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher scampering around nude on a beach back in the 1980s.

Dr. Bronte had chained his patient to a chair and ran the film projector.

Dr. Bronte stuffed his own ears with cotton to stifle the sound of the man's screams.

When the movie was over, Dr. Bronte unchained the man.

"Well," said Welsh Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley, "I think you've forever destroyed my libido."

"Well, then no more worries about becoming a werewolf again eh?" Dr. Bronte smiled.

To be continued.

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