Cerberus and Pan Goatee In Vancouver

Pan Goatee had been reading all the Sydney Seagull poems that Dracul Van Helsing had written.


So he decided to go to Vancouver and see this strange eccentric bird for himself.

But after astral projecting himself to English Bay, he frightened off all the seagulls since he was carrying his astral machete with him.

Most of the humans on the beach were too stoned to be frightened by his astral machete.

Either that or they were pointing at it and saying in a brain dead zombie like voice,  "Wow.  That's really cool, man."

Pan Goatee who shared the Ancient Greek passion for true intellectual contemplation of the Realm of Platonic Forms thought these idiots were incapable of it and so beheaded them all thus reducing the amount of support for the Yes side in a possible B.C. Provincial Referendum on Marijuana Decriminalization to say nothing of reducing the base of support for Justin Trudeau's Canadian Federal Liberal Party.


Since Pan Goatee did not know his way around Vancouver, he decided to call a halt to his astral projection and ride the Vancouver Transit System that all the travel books raved about.

But seeing as how today was the second round of the Honda Celebration of Light Vancouver Fireworks Festival Competition (and the host country of Canada was tonight's competitor) the buses in Vancouver were full of $&@!ing people much to Pan Goatee's disgust.


He went around beheading people left, right and centre (and even totally apathetic when it came to the political spectrum) in a one half-man half-goat attempt to make a dent in the world's 7 billion population mark.

He tried boarding the next bus because the one he was on although now empty stank to high-heaven.

That one too was crowded- this one filled with people going to the Justin Timberlake concert being held tonight in Vancouver.

Pan Goatee raged, "Justin Timberlake?  I hate that guy for making Britney Spears cry."

Although he had only been genetically created this year, a recent well-done documentary on MTV that he had watched had brought him up to speed on the music scene of the past 20 years.

Sadly his astral machete now required sharpening and there wasn't an astral sharpening saw in sight.


He happened to see the 3-headed dog Cerberus astral project on to the scene.

Cerberus actually wanted to astral project to the Palace of Westminster in London, England but he made the mistake of asking a recently reformed alcoholic (who had only sworn off booze a few days before) for directions.


And this was where he wound up- in downtown Vancouver British Columbia.


"Cerberus," Pan Goatee cried out to him,  "this bus is full of damned souls aka Justin Timberlake fans.  Come and eat them."


Cerberus wagged his tail in a friendly fashion as he hadn't had anything to eat in several days.


He boarded the bus and with his 3 heads that all required a carnivourous non-vegetarian diet bit and chewed and swallowed anyone and everyone in sight.

In the aftermath, all that was left on the bus was a lot of blood and a bunch of bodiless Justin Timberlake shirts.




To be continued.







-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 31st 2013.