Champagne Bar Mitzvah

"More champagne?" the short skirted French maid looking blonde held a tray of glasses of champagne in front of Amadeus Emanon.

"Thanks," Amadeus helped himself to his fourth glass of the evening.

Renfield R. Renfield looked at Amadeus. All he needed was a drunken genetic clone on his hands (or his paws should Renfield suddenly shapeshift into a hamster).

Renfield shot a needle into his arm.

Not because Renfield was a junkie.

At least not for drugs.

Renfield had a craving for tuna fish sandwiches.

But he also had an allergy to tuna fish.

So the medication he took through the needle enabled him to eat tuna fish sandwiches without suddenly breaking into a case of hives.

Renfield hurriedly put the needle back into his pocket when he saw Solomon Solstein approach.

Solomon Solstein was the western world's only major businessman who wasn't suffering from the global recession.

Solstein had rather wisely invested in a Chinese auto company- BYD Auto- which had just developed the E6 electric car which ran on a ferrous ion (rather than lithium) based electric battery which can go 400 km on a single charge.

Solstein was going to make a fortune.

Renfield was here at the bar mitzvah for Solomon Solstein's son Solomon Solstein Jr. to ask the elder Solstein for a loan of $10 billion so that Renfield's boss the formerly billionaire (and currently millionaire) ancient Egyptian vampire Set could be a billionaire again.

"Mr. Renfield," the jovial gentleman grabbed his hand and shook it, "how's your boss these days?".

"Well, there's a certain financial matter that I'd like to discuss with you on behalf of my boss," Renfield replied.

"Sure, meet me in my office next Monday," Solomon handed Renfield a cigar, "but today let's eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow the Dow Jones may never recover."

"Do you have any tuna fish sandwiches here?" Renfield asked Solomon Solstein.

"Do you have any pork sandwiches here?" asked Amadeus as he came over to join them.

Solstein glared at Amadeus, "Tuna yes, pork no."

Renfield hit Amadeus on the back of the head.

"But eat and drink to your heart's content, gentlemen," Solomon waved, "for today is my son's bar mitzvah. Today is the day my son has finally become a man."

"I wonder," Amadeus (who was a big fan of Miss California 2009) asked aloud, "when Perez Hilton is going to have his bar mitzvah so he'll finally become a man?".

To be continued.