Dracul Van Helsing was making out with Hyung Grace Kwan in a hay loft on the open window upper story of a barn.
"Dracul," Hyung said between passionate kisses, "shouldn't we be watching out for that wild boar vampire that's biting both pigs and humans on the neck and infecting them with the H1N1 virus?".
"We'll hear the flapping of its wings and its diabolical cackling oink when it approaches," Dracul bit Hyung on the neck.
"Oh God," Hyung moaned in ecstasy.
"A drum, a drum," a parrot called out in the barn, "Dracul doth come."
"Who let Orson Welles' parrot in here?" Dracul asked.
"It probably followed you here," Hyung replied as she let out a joyful shriek that sent all the barn swallows scattering.
As a birthday present last year, Hyung had bought Dracul a 100-year-old parrot that had once belonged to Orson Welles since she knew that Dracul was a big Orson Welles fan. The name of the parrot was Rosebob.
"To be or not to be," Rosebob continued, "is this a dagger Hyung sees before her? Come let her clutch it... oh God... put back thy sheath, oh Brutus... the cock will crow three times before morning has come... or Hyung for that matter! The Peter will have denied everything particularly when the results of the pregnancy test come back..."
"Will somebody shut that damn bird up?" Dracul stated.
To be continued.
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