The Genesis of Renfield

The multi-millionaire (and formerly billionaire) ancient Egyptian vampire Set looked at the claim for time and a half sent to him by his faithful employee Renfield R. Renfield.

Renfield was claiming it for working on Good Friday yesterday.

Set was going through hard economic times. He was no longer a billionaire.

Only a mere multi-millionaire.

He was hoping to rectify this by marrying the Vampiress Martini- the heiress to the Romanov billions.

But so far she hadn't reciprocated his amourous advances.

And here Renfield was claiming time and a half knowing the financial predicament that he Set was in.

Still Renfield was a good and loyal employee.

After all, Renfield had been created in one of Set Enterprises' genetics labs.

Governments all over the world were currently debating the bio-ethics of creating human animal hybrid embryos through cloning.

Well Set's labs had started doing that back in the late 1990s. He never sought the approval of governments or parliaments or congresses in moving ahead in science and technology.

Set's scientists could clone a human just by using the DNA from a single strand of hair.

Before Renfield was created, Set decided that the time had come for his scientists to create a shapeshifter- those strange creatures of mythology and folklore who were said to be able to change their shape from human to animal and back again.

Set was wondering what sort of animal shapeshifter he should create when he saw a TV commercial showing children playing with a pet hamster.

A hamster shapeshifter Set smiled.

Set had read about cannibalistic hamsters being genetically grown in one of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il's secret labs in Pyongyang, North Korea.

So Set had bought and flown over the best dish of fish n' chips in the United Kingdom to Kim Jong-il in exchange for one of Kim's home grown cannibalistic hamsters.


Despite the difficulty Kim had in eating fish n' chips with a chop stick (one of his aides who suggested that perhaps Kim should cut up the fish with a western imperialistic capitalistic knife and fork had been taken out and shot by firing squad), he mailed Set one of the genetically grown cannibalistic hamsters.

Despite the fact that various postal employees and letter carriers all over the world had lost their fingers in delivering the live package wrapped up in a large bulging envelope, the genetically created cannibalistic hamster arrived safe and sound to the Set Enterprises lab in London, England.

The hamster was then flown to a secret Set Enterprises lab in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

There DNA was extracted from the hamster and mixed with the DNA of Robespierre, Napoleon, Bismarck, Lenin, Stalin, Hitler and Pol Pot (Set had locks of hair from all these ruthless historical individuals).

And in 2002, Renfield was created.

Unfortunately Renfield while in hamster shape had escaped from the lab and was caught and caged by an eccentric female used book store employee named Natalie who lived in Manitou Springs, Colorado.

Despite the fact that Renfield had ate the other pet hamster that Natalie had kept in the cage in the Manitou Springs used book store, she kept the strange homicidal little rodent.

In 2006, Renfield was finally located by one of Set's cannibalistic hamster sniffing dogs.

Renfield was flown to London where he was taught to shapeshift between being human and hamster.

And Renfield now served as the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises.

To be continued.