Renfield Does Some Good

Dracul Van Helsing had received a call from Gregorio Palamas the President of the International Federation of Vampire Hunters.

Palamas wanted to talk to him in person.

So Dracul Van Helsing flew to Athens, Greece.

Palamas' night job was President of the International Federation of Vampire Hunters.

But his day job was a judge and magistrate in Athens.

Palamas was wanting to talk to Dracul Van Helsing because he was feeling depressed.

Because of some idiocies committed by certain policemen in investigating a certain crime, Palamas was forced to call a halt to the trial and release from custody a well known pedophile and child molester named Podaleios Tinydickopolous.

"Podaleios Tinydickopolous," Dracu Van Helsing recalled the name, "doesn't he fancy himself a wrestler?"

"Yes he does," Gregorio Palamas nodded, "although he's never won a match. His channel on YouTube consists of a lot of wrestling videos of other people of course. Since his own performances are so lousy."

"He's also a member of the growing neo-Nazi and Fascist movement that seems to be arising on YouTube," Dracul said, "which is strange. After Mussolini's invasion of Greece, you'd think Greeks would be naturally opposed to neo-Nazisim and Fascism."

"Sadly," Gregorio shook his head, "21st Century Greece isn't imbued with the wisdom of ancient Athens but the sodomite imbecility of ancient Sparta."

"I guess that explains why it's on the verge of economic collapse," Dracul noted.

"Indeed being bailed out by the EU which really means being bailed out by Germany," Gregorio shook his head sadly, "our fiscal asses are being saved by Germany while this pervert goes free who kisses Hitler's ass and buggers the asses of little boys."

"It's too bad Podaleios Tinydickopolous wasn't a vampire," Dracul said, "then I'd have a license and an excuse to kill him."

"It is indeed too bad," Gregorio shook his head, "he used a hot poker to sodomize his young victims since his own penis was much too small."

Dracul Van Helsing left the Athens court house.

As he walked down the street, he suddenly recognized the pedophile and child molester Podaleios Tinydickopolous.

"Gees, I wish I could bump him off," Dracul bit his lip.

Suddenly Dracul recognized Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon walking the streets of Athens.

Dracul overheard Renfield saying to Amadeus, "I'm pretty sure that after that Icelandic volcano belched out Apollo and Zeus, those two ancient gods would be heading back to Greece."

Dracul hid himself from Renfield's view when an idea suddenly came to him.

Dracul went into a nearby Greek store where he asked for a pen and paper and some tape.

He wrote down on the piece of paper, "RENFIELD R. RENFIELD PICKS FLORAL BOUQUETS".

He then hurried down the street where he carefully placed the taped piece of paper on Podaleios Tinydickopolous' back.

He then followed slowly behind until he noticed Renfield approaching from the other direction.

He then pushed Podaleios directly into Renfield.

And after having done so, he went into the nearest Greek taverna where he watched a beautiful young Greek woman belly dancer.

Renfield was furious at being bumped into.

He was even more furious when he saw the sign on the man's back.

Renfield laid ahold of the man.

That night, Greek television news reported that a body had been found. There were severe burn marks up and down the body. The arms, legs and head had all been chopped off- in that order! There was also a very tiny burnt sliver found around the body which was later identified as the man's penis.

The man would later be identified as the recently released pedophile and child molester Podaleios Tinydickopolous.

That night, Amadeus could hear Renfield shout in the shower, "I feel so like Lady MacBeth right now. I just can't seem to get the blood off."

To be continued.