Renfield and Heathcliff Meet Again

Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell was sitting at his office desk crying and wiping his eyes.

"Oh Oysterella, where art thou?" Heathcliff wept.

The door suddenly burst open and in walked Renfield R. Renfield.

Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell's secretary walked in behind him, "I'm sorry, Mr. Heathcliff, sir. I couldn't stop him."

"That's all right, Kathy," Heathcliff waved her out the door.

"You remember me?" Renfield smiled.

"You helped manage my campaign for the Presidency of the United States," Heathcliff wiped his glasses, "and I must say you didn't do a very good job. I lost."

"That's all in the past," Renfield shrugged.

"Now I'm horrified to say that loss makes me having something in common with Hillary Clinton," Heathcliff shuddered, "although I must admit I have something in common with Monica Lewinsky too. Someone left a nasty semen stain on one of my blue dresses as well."

"That isn't really what I came here to find out," Renfield grimaced.

Amadeus Emanon opened the door, "Say, boss, I was wondering if you could give me some spare change so I can use one of the Coke machines."

"I told you to wait outside," Renfield shouted.

"Okay, okay," Amadeus answered before slamming the door, "don't get your panties in a knot."

"I don't wear panties," Renfield screamed.

"I do," Heathcliff stated.

"That isn't what I came for either," Renfield was starting to grow hamster whiskers in his exasperation.

"Say, you know," Amadeus walked into the office again and spoke to Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell, "did anyone tell you that your secretary Kathy looks a lot like Merle Oberon?".

"I see you have excellent taste in both movies and actresses," Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell took a sip of his cinnamon sprinkled Mocha Cafe frappe, "Yes, Kathy does look a lot like Merle Oberon. Unfortunately, I look nothing at all like Laurence Olivier." Heathcliff rubbed his balding head.

By this time, Renfield R. Renfield had become so exasperated that he had reverted totally to his hamster shape.

"Good heavens, there's a hamster here," Heathcliff jumped on top of his desk, "help hamster on the loose!"

"Mr. Heathcliff, sir, what's wrong?" Kathy entered the room

When she saw the hamster on the floor, she lifted up her blue dress and despite wearing spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes managed to jump on top of the desk as well.

"I'll go grab a glass of water," Amadeus said, "and throw it on him. That gets him back to his human form."

Inside a large violin case outside the office, a cat could be heard mewing and purring from inside.

To be continued.