Leonardo DiCaprio's Inception and The Lobster Named Michelangelo

Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon were having lunch together in a sandwich cafe in London.

"I hear," Renfield said between mouthfuls of his tuna fish sandwich, "that Justin Timberlake may replace Simon Cowell as a judge on American Idol."

"I wonder how many major wardrobe malfunctions would happen on American Idol if that were to occur," Amadeus replied.

On the TV screen in the restaurant, the BBC News Announcer intoned, "This just in. San Francisco police have been questioning former US Vice-President Al Gore about possible inappropriate sexual contact with a massage therapist..."

"Oh my Buddha Consciousness Higher Self," Renfield invoked his deity as he put down his tuna fish sandwich in disgust, "the thought and imagery of Al Gore having sex has ruined my appetite."

* * *

Later that night, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had been summoned to his top secret laboratories at Canary Wharf on the Thames.

"I thought you'd like to see this, boss," his leading scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher unveiled a curtain and there in an aquarium was a lobster.

"I have seen lobster before in my 3000 year old existence," Set seethed.

"But you've never seen lobster like this," Dr. Rocher grinned.

Dr. Rocher showed the lobster a photograph.

"Now observe our closed-circuit television inside 10 Downing Street," said Rocher.

British Prime Minister David Cameron woke up screaming, "I dreamed a lobster was sitting in my seat in the House of Commons."

Dr. Rocher showed the lobster another photograph.

"Now observe our closed circuit television inside the ArchBishop's Palace," Rocher smiled.

Rowan Williams the ArchDruid of Canterbury woke up screaming, "I dreamed a lobster was sacrificing me to an ancient Celtic deity."

Then another photograph. And a closed circuit television of the White House.

United States President Barack Obama woke up screaming, "I dreamed a giant lobster loosened the cap on the BP oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico and oil was spilling out again."

Then another photograph. And another closed circuit television.

Rep. Ron Paul woke up screaming, "I dreamed a lobster knocked over my tea pot and ruined our tea party."

"My Amun-Ra," Set smiled, "you've created a lobster that can..."

"... enter people's dreams," Dr. Rocher smiled, "What audiences see Leonardo DiCaprio doing fictionally in Inception, Michelangelo de Lobster does for real at my suggestion."

Then Dr. Rocher showed the lobster Michelangelo another photograph.

The lobster closed his eyes.

And a few minutes later, the lobster woke up screaming.


* * *

"Why are you smiling?" Amadeus who was sitting in an easy chair asked Renfield who was lying on the couch.

Renfield answered, "I just dreamed I was eating lobster."


To be continued.